The Smell of Old Books
by thelittleglaceon
Summary: The old bookstore wasn't your home anymore, you finally realized. It was with them. It was with him. (Sans/Reader) (cover art by ballroomrittz)
1. Coworker?

Running a bookstore was easy; dealing with customers was not.

You've run this store for years all by yourself. A small but well-known bookstore that was hidden in the more vintage part of town. Other stores around you consisted of passed down family restaurants and used clothing boutiques.

Being in this well-worn building felt way more like a home to you than your miniscule apartment down on main street did.

Your parents gave you the keys to the store years ago and told you to make it your own. The books, the shelves, everything. The regular customers... They even told you that it would be okay if you decided to sell it. Mom was dying then and dad couldn't handle coming back to somewhere your mother couldn't really come back to.

This place was a home to you. Despite all the times you've moved around town, this place was the only constant. No matter how many friends you had left or family members died... This old bookstore wasn't leaving you anytime soon.

However, as much as you'd love this store, the customers were another thing. You didn't mind a few; the regulars were some of your most favorite people. Some groups of teenagers started coming down here a few months ago – crowding up your already cozy store and filling it with screams and shouts. You were lucky if one of them bought a pen or something.

It didn't help you were bad with people already. You had a hard time saying no to pushy sales clerks or telemarketers. You had a hard time telling people no! It wasn't easy to shout at customers to leave, even after they'd been loitering for hours. You just couldn't do it. No matter how much you really wished you could.

But at least you'd admit it. You were awkward and somewhat plain. It wasn't hard to find something more interesting than you. Even if it was a dumb little gel pen...

You took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, thankful for the lack of people today. It was a Monday – which meant a slow day for you. A slow day meant you could get caught up on reading.

There wasn't anyone else running the store besides you. You were the owner, the clerks, the attendants (do bookstores have attendants?) and literally everything else involved. It got lonely sometimes, being by yourself for most of the day, but you'd prefer it to being swarmed with people who didn't truly like you.

The air around you smelt like dust and old books. Most people wouldn't have enjoyed it as much as you did but the smells always brought a smile to your face. You praticically grew up in this store! You couldn't help it, even if some of the memories were a bit sad.

You grabbed a classic, well-loved book from your pile by the register. You couldn't bring yourself to read the newer books from the shelves – even though your parents did it constantly. Those were meant for the customers, not for your own pleasure! Once in a while, you ended up stealing a book or two. Well, not steal... You put the money in the cashier. (It made no sense to you why you did this. All the money in the cashier was techinically yours.)

You eventually became so immersed in your book's world that you hardly knew that a customer had walked in... And two hours had passed.

You barely recognized the sound of the bell chiming until a hand slammed onto the marble counter. Instinctively, you jumped up.

"'Ey, punk! You've been reading on the job?"

The voice was a gruff sounding voice, but it was clearly feminine. You looked up and found a dark blue, scaly-esque monster with long, red hair tucked into a ponytail. Her eye were a pretty yellow color that reminded you of a cat, whilst the other one was covered up by an almost brand new looking eyepatch.

You had almost forgot. Monsters were real. They had climbed up from Mt. Ebott almost a year ago after the barrier had been broken.  
It wasn't as if you didn't like them; of course not! You actually found most of them to be nicer than your own species. They just didn't tend to come around your area often, so it was rare to see one. It was actually rare to see anyone at this time of the day... Which was around nine in the morning.

"I," you stuttered out, "Um, hello... I-Is there anything you need?"  
"Hey there!" the woman gave you a huge smile, her voice echoing throughout the small space, "What's up, nerd?"

You felt nervous, but this was how it was when anyone came and talked to you - customer, monster, or not, "I... How can I help you today?"  
"Well," her voice sounded a bit timid, despite the intimidating front she gave you at first, "I was actually, um, lookin' for a job..."  
"A job?" you felt confusion, "I'm sorry, but we're... I'm not really looking for employees at the moment."

And it was true. You weren't. You hardly had enough money to pay for your own crappy little apartment. It wasn't like you could really pay for another person entirely.

Dissapointment fell on her face and you began to feel awful, "...Well, my girlfriend had told me that she came here one day and only saw you workin' here. I guess she must've thought that you were short or something..."  
"I, um," you took a deep breath, "I can see if I can figure something out. Do you... Do you wanna try, like, an interview I guess?"

Against all your better judgement; you had asked her. You could hardly turn anyone down. Dad even said that would be your ultimate downfall, although that was in a joking manner. You guessed it wasn't a joke anymore.

Her face lit up, though, and you could hardly feel regret for what you said, "Really? Dude, thanks!"  
"Would you like to do it... right now?" You stammered out nervously, "Well, like! There's no rush, you can come in later whenever you're ready for it?"

"Nah!" she jumped up and sat down right on the counter, making herself comfortable. She gave me a shit eating grin.

Despite the circumstances and your unwarranted anxiety, you laughed a bit. Most people wouldn't have the type of guts to do something so... Unique? The word seem to fit the monster, yet you didn't even know her name. You decided that you liked her.

"'M name's Undyne, punk!" Undyne pointed at herself, smirking. Well, you guessed that fixed one thing now, "I came from the Underground and I used to live in Waterfall! Um... You'd probably wouldn't know what that is but it was super cool!"

Undyne's eye sparkled with determination and you felt like giving her the job now, if only to make her smile. The word unique really did fit with her.

"Hi, Undyne," you said weakly, "My name's _. It's nice to meet you."

You held your hand out and Undyne shook it enthusiastically.

"_, huh? Cool name," she let go of your hand and put hers it atop of the counter, "I guess you need to know a few more things about me, right? Alphys told me that I should say some things like prior job experience – blah, blah..."

The name she had said sounded familiar and while Undyne spoke of how she used to fight for the Underground's royal guard, the name finally clicked with you.

"Alphys?" you interrupted her accidentaly and she gave you a quizzical look.  
"...Yeah? That's my girlfriend, why?" She raised an eyebrow at you.

You laughed a tiny bit, "She's... She's been coming down her for a little while, I think. She's really small, right?"  
"That's my babe!" Undyne seemed elated you knew about Alphys, "Such a cute little thing, isn't she?..."  
"She almost wiped out my entire science section," your voice slowly becoming more confident as you spoke, the intial nervousment almost washed away, "I had to order at least a few dozen more books so I begin to replace what she's bought."

Alphys was one of the nicer regulars you had. You loved when she came down and spoke with you for a few minutes after buying her books. You and her clicked well, if only for the fact you both seemed to be a bit socially awkward.

Undyne hollered out laughing, "Damn! That's sounds like my nerd!"  
"She's a sweetheart," you smiled, "Anyways... I just need to ask you a few questions and then we can figure out everything from there if that's okay."

You sounded so in control, and you felt a somewhat weird satisfaction that you could get your voice not to waver in front of a stranger.

"Anything!" she clenched her fist in a heroic way, "I will answer any and all your questions with ease, human!"  
You stifled another laugh, slowly finding yourself to like this passionate monster, "A-alright!"


	2. Afterthoughts

Undyne was hired.

It wasn't because of your god-awful ability to say no. It wasn't even because you warmed up to her. (You'd admit it, though, you really did enjoy the time you spent with Undyne that day.) It was mainly because of her pure determination to get a job at your small bookstore. Besides, you figured, it wouldn't hurt to actually talk to someone for once. Perhaps even get an extra hand around.

You two decided on a simple schedule for her. Undyne asked for weekends off, which was basically just Saturday. You closed down shop on Sundays – you felt you needed at least one day off in the week. At first, you wished she had wanted to work on Saturdays since that was always the most busy day of the week and that was when you needed help the most. But then you realized that normal people had other things to do on the weekends than work.  
Undyne would work Mondays through Fridays, up to eight hours a day. You told her that the store opened up around seven in the morning and closed at nine at night. But you'd closed down shop for a half an hour for lunch around noon. She was welcome to start work anytime she'd like; no permanent hours were set. Neither of you really complained about it.

The only downside was the pay, you assumed. You explained you could only pay around $8.50 per hour, which was mediocre at best. Undyne didn't seem too distressed about it, though, in fact she was actually elated – you assumed it was just because places really didn't hire monsters around here.

You personally thought that it was bullshit.  
Monsters could probably be just as good as humans were, perhaps even better. They were a hell of a lot nicer too...

Undyne wanted to begin work that day, but you decided it might be a better idea if she started tomorrow.

"Why?" Undyne almost pouted, it was easy to tell she was excited to start her new job. You only wished you could be that passionate about work.  
You smiled weakly at her, "I probably need to get a few things started for you. Like tasks, I guess? I hope that's not too much of a bother..."

Undyne quickly regained her vigor, "Alright, punk! I guess that means you're gonna see a lot more of me!"  
"I-I don't mind," you quickly assured her, hoping she didn't think you disliked her, "I... I was actually hoping to get to know you better."

Her small smile quickly turned into another shit eating grin as she sprung off of the counter, "You seem cool too, _! I'll be seeing you tomorrow then, loser!"  
You chuckled a bit, "Alright, Undyne, it was very nice meeting you."

You held out your hand and she shook it, albeit a bit more roughly - a complete different handshake than earlier. It must've been because she was nervous the first time.

"See ya, boss!" Undyne waved at you and quickly hurried out of the store.

You sat there for a few moments, staring at the now closed door. Hating to admit it, you were actually a bit sad she was gone.

You thought about the event that just happened and realized you were a boss now. Not really something you had expected to come out of your cute little store.

Thinking of yourself as a boss made you giggle a bit. You wondered what dad would say when he asked about the store next. However, you weren't quite sure how keen he was on the whole 'monster' thing. You two didn't talk often, and when you did - it wasn't about anything too serious.

The store was eerily quiet after Undyne left. You ended up putting some music on for the first time in years. 

* * *

You shut your apartment door behind you, exhausted from the events of the day. You almost laughed at yourself for being so tired. Besides, what had you done besides hire Undyne?

That reminded you. You had to figure out some sort of schedule for her...

You threw off your jacket haphazardly and watched as it landed on the ground in front of you. You knew the apartment was messy already, but you ended up contributing to it even more.

Just one more thing to stress about...

Sighing, you walked over to your bedroom and fell down onto your old mattress. The bed wasn't made per usual, but you found yourself not minding it much.  
Meeting Undyne had majorly lifted up your mood for the day, and work didn't seem to bad for once.

Sure, you worked in your parents' old bookstore. You loved books with a passion. And you got to read whatever you wanted to. Still, you couldn't help yourself from thinking of work as work. Sometimes the only reason you even got up to go in the mornings was because you knew you didn't have enough money for rent or groceries.

You could've always asked dad... But, to you, that was out of the question. Dad was always busy since mom's death, and it's not like he really had room for his 'never really grown up' grown up child.  
You assumed dad thought of you as a nuisance, too. Plus... He was paying for the utilities on the bookstore. It wouldn't be right of you to impose, you thought, after all much he's done for you.

You shook your head and grabbed your laptop next to you.

For a minute, you looked at your email and a few other social media sites. You didn't really understand why you kept doing, you thought, as you kept scrolling down the websites. There wasn't anything interesting as of late. There wasn't really anything that kept up your interests lately...

Except Undyne. She seemed nice.

Remembering her, you pulled up a blank document and began to plan for tomorrow.

You would need to tell her where sections of the bookstore were, how to run the register, and a few other tasks. Nothing too difficult for her first day, you hoped.  
It was silly, but you wished there wouldn't be too many people tomorrow. Undyne was actually really cool and her stories about being a royal guard were fascinating, but she took up a lot of your energy. And, she was only at the store for two hours at most.

You thought you were being quite ridiculous thinking this, but you hoped that you and Undyne could be friends eventually.

Maybe it wouldn't happen... But instead of worrying about it, you'd guessed you'd just see what tomorrow would bring.


	3. Science Books

**(a/n: thank you all for your sweet comments! it means a lot, actually. i hope you like what i have in store and don't worry, our little skele is coming up soon. so be patient!)**

The next morning flew past you in a blur.

You had woken up a quarter to seven. At first, you didn't think it was too big of a deal, that you could hurry and shower and open up the store a little later than typical. Then you immediately remembered that you had hired Undyne yesterday and had absolutely no idea when she was going to show up.

You threw on your clothes without really paying attention to what you were wearing. It ended up being an old, worn sweater and the pants you forgot to change out of last night. You ran out the door in a frenzy, throwing your hair up into a lazy ponytail.

The day was a cold, bitter morning and you found yourself wishing you had worn a thicker jacket than usual. However, you remembered, that it would probably warm up throughout the day. You hoped that it wouldn't be freezing by the time you closed down shop and went back home.

Most of the time to get to the bookstore was uneventful, you hitched a ride on the train and ran most of the way there. You begged everything that she wouldn't show up until you had prepared everything for her as you sprinted to your doors.

But time didn't agree with you today, you found out, as Undyne was leaning against the window of the shop. She wore a yellow scarf with a simple black coat. At least she was more prepared than you were.

You kind of wished she was your boss at that point.

You ran up to her, passing by the warm smells of cider that lingered in the air. Some of the restaurants must've been preparing for fall. Cider sounded amazing to you, you thought as you felt your nose burnt from the cold.

Undyne waved and smiled, "Heya, boss!"

You tried to gain an authoritative like attitude and smiled back at her, yet it ultimately failed and you probably looked like a little kid. You were panting from sprinting so much and you were pretty sure you looked exhausted.

"Hi," you blurted out loudly, "I'm really sorry I'm late. I didn't have my alarm or anything on... I didn't expect you so soon, I suppose."  
"No, don't worry about it," she reassured you, "I came here a bit earlier anyways. You're good for now, punk!"  
You smiled at her, positive she was just being kind, "I've probably kept you waiting long enough... Um, thank you for coming so early."

Undyne just smirked at you while you unlocked the door, your hands a bit shaky. Alright, you'd admit it, you wanted to make a good impression on Undyne – your extremely awkward personality wasn't helping you at all in that aspect.

You opened up the door and you both walked inside. The smell of books filled the air and you took a deep breath, closing the door behind you.

"So what's first on the agenda, _?"

"I suppose I should probably tell you where things are," you flipped the door's sign to OPEN and began walking towards the end of the store. Undyne followed, waiting for your instructions.

"This is the classic selection," you pointed at the shelves behind you, "My parents put it in the very back of store since a lot of people aren't interested in them anymore... It's kind of a shame, there's a lot of good books here."  
Undyne laughed, "You seem to enjoy books."  
"It wouldn't be a fun job if I didn't," you beamed.

You showed Undyne around the small store, which didn't take more than a few minutes. You explained to her how they were organized with genre and last names. She seemed impressed, kind of... You weren't sure if it was because of the books or just how confident you seemed to be. Well, at least _you_ were impressed by your confidence.

Afterwards, you showed her how the register worked.

"This is really confusing," she pouted, "I don't understand any of it!"

You stifled a laugh, "It's okay, I'll be working it most of the time so it's not a big deal. All I'll really need help with is helping customers find books. And, maybe-"  
"No!" Undyne groaned, "I will learn how to use this damned register!"

Her passion felt as if it filled up the entire store and you watched as she, roughly, began to punch numbers into the machine. You watched and as you felt yourself grow more worried that she might break it.

Undyne finally slammed her fist into it, literally punching a register, "This thing isn't something that I can't handle. I can do it!"

Albeit you were scared for the register's life, you didn't really have to heart to stop her yet.

She kept pressing random numbers, her attitude growing more and more frustrated.

"Undyne-" you said slowly, trying to remain a neutral attitude.

You felt your eyes widened as she manifested a blue, glowing spear out of nowhere. Undyne screamed heroically and was about to slam the spear into the register.

"U-Undyne!" you shrieked.

Then the bell of the door chimed, meaning a customer had just walked in.

You both froze there for a moment and you wondered how peculiar you two must've looked. Undyne stood there, her spear almost stabbing your register and you standing there awkwardly behind the monster.

Undyne slowly turned her head around, her spear disappearing almost as quickly as it appeared.

"I-I hope I didn't w-walk in at a b-bad time," a nervous voice said, breaking the awkward silence that had ensued.

Undyne hurriedly moved away from the machine and you let go of a nervous breath you didn't know you were holding in.

You turned towards the customer and smiled warmly.

"Welcome to our little b-bookstore!" you clumsily repeated, clapping your hands together, "I-It's nice to see you again, Alphys."

Alphys shyly smiled at both of you while Undyne rushed up to the small lizard girl, kneeled down, and embraced her warmly. You tried to hide the growing smile you had as you watched the pair.

It seemed like an odd couple to you at first, but seeing them together made you realize how utterly adorable and perfect the two were.

"Hey, cutie," Undyne let go off her girlfriend, but not without planting a kiss on her cheek before, "What're you doing here?"

Alphys entire face burned a brilliant red and you laughed a bit, in spite of yourself, "I-I-I just wanted t-to..."

She covered up her face immediately, shaking it wildly, "I-I just wanted to say hi a-and maybe grab a-a f-few books!"

Alphys uncovered her face slowly and Undyne smiled widely at her. You smiled at both of them, albeit a bit nervously.

You were always nervous these days, it seemed.

"I-It's nice to see you t-too, _," Alphys smiled at you, "I-I'm sorry I didn't a-ask if you were hiring b-before I told Undyne about here... I-I, thank you for g-giving her a job here though!"

You wiped your sweaty palms on your dirty jeans, "It's no problem, Alphys. I was just showing her around the store."

Undyne scratched her head, "Um, yeah, sorry I almost killed your register by the way."  
"It was confusing for me to get the hang of it at first too," you reassured her, "Don't feel bad about it. I can try teaching you later, if you'd like."  
"Yeah, that'd be awesome!" Undyne's spirits seemed to be in high gear, especially with her girlfriend arriving on the scene.

"Is there anything that you're looking for?" you asked with a small smile.  
Alphys beamed at you, "I-I was wondering if y-you had ordered any new sc-sciene books."  
You laughed softly, "I just got a new order arrive a few days. Just for you!"  
"O-oh!" Alphys seemed to be ecstatic about it and her face immediately filled up with joy, "T-thank you! Y-you didn't have to, _-_..."  
"I wanted to," you said bashfully, trying to hide your glee that you made her happy.

Undyne looked at you, surprised, "Wow, dude. Thanks, actually."

You felt yourself growing flustered, "N-no, don't thank me! It was something I wanted to do! I'm just glad that you're enjoying my science collection so much."  
Alphys smiled warmly at you, "_, thank you..."

Suddenly, Undyne's arm wrapped around your shoulders in a friendly manner, "You're pretty cool, punk! I'm looking forward to working for you, boss!"

Your face went red, unused to all the excitement directed towards you. Sure, you were elated that you made _both_ of these girls happy in the past few hours. But it didn't really help the fact that you were a bit embarrassed about the thanks you were getting. Besides, you were just doing what any good bookstore owner would do – try to get more different books so new (and old) customers would be attracted to your store.

It wasn't a bad feeling, you'd admit. As long as it was only these two.  
Usually this type of attention brought negative things with it.

You walked Alphys towards the science collection, and with you followed Undyne. You were positive that Alphys did know where the science shelf were located at – but you really wanted to show her what the new books consisted of.

Alphys and you stood near the shelf while Undyne sat crossed legged on the ground.

There was everything from plant life to geology on the shelves, and you watched with content as Alphys's face grew more and more excited with every book she pulled out.

"Undyne!" Alphys looked at her girlfriend with an almost sparkle in her eyes, "L-look how cool these are! They've got books a-about the o-ocean and there's even one h-here about the Underground!"  
"I'd bet no one would know more than you about the Underground," Undyne said proudly.  
Alphys began to stack up books in a pile, "I'd doubt th-that. The humans a-are a bit more advanced with technology than we were..."  
Undyne frowned, "They'd never make something as impressive as Mettaton though!"  
"M-Mettaton?" you asked cautiously.

They both turned to look at you with questioning glances until Undyne busted out laughing.

"Mettaton w-was one of my c-creations in the Underground," Alphys said nervously, "H-He's quite the charmer on the TV, i-isn't he?"  
Your eyes widened, "That's awesome, Alphys! I didn't know anyone could create something like that!"  
"She did it all by herself too," Undyne looked at her girlfriend with a proud expression.

"A-All by yourself?" you were amazed, "That's impressive! I've watched a few of Mettaton's movies and shows – I'd hardly ever guess he was created by someone. He's a really good actor, plus."

Mettaton's been the face for monsters since the barrier was broken. He preformed in multiple shows and movies all across the board. From sci-fi, romance, horror – he was in it. You'd enjoyed his acting more than you'd like to admit (his more cheesier movies were your guilty pleasures...). It was literally an honor to you to be standing in front of his creator(?) but you didn't really want to make a silly fangirl impression on the two.

Alphys smiled shyly, "H-He's a good friend too... We just hardly ever see him nowadays."  
"I'm sorry," you frowned, sympathetic.

"I-It's all good, _! We still talk q-quite often!" Alphys rushed to comfort you, which immediately caught you off guard.  
"He's still a punk ass nerd, though," Undyne joined in.

You laughed and Alphys regained her attention on the new books. Most of them were just random sciences that had caught your eye or books you'd thought Alphys would like. You barely knew her though, so there was really no telling if she would like what you bought. However, it seemed, that you had made some good decisions.

Alphys pulled out an astrology book and smiled widely, flipping through the pages, "U-Undyne!"  
Undyne looked over Alphys's shoulder, eyes growing wide, "Wow. That's really cool."

"D-Don't you'd think Sans would find this interesting?" Alphys asked, looking at constellations pictured on the pages, "I-I should tell h-him about this."  
Undyne made a strange face, "That punk? ...Probably. He's a geek for all this starry stuff."

You didn't really understand who they were talking about. Despite wanting to ask, you felt as if that kind of information was private and didn't want to make the two feel uncomfortable. You knew you were just the bookstore owner... Not really either of their friends.

You pinched your wrist and tried to act calmly. You could always be their friends if you just tried. That's what dad always said. (You hoped that he was right for once.)

"I-I should tell him a-about this store next time w-we see them," Alphys said softly, enchanted by the pictures of the night.

You almost forgot that the monsters had only been able to see the skies for a little less than a year now... That must be awful, you thought, not being able to see the sun or the stars. Whomever they were talking about, at least you had one thing in common with them. You were bit of an astrology nerd yourself.

"Tell him to come on Saturday!" Undyne pouted, "I see that little nerd every damn weekend when it's time for Pap's cooking lessons."  
"D-Do you not like Sans?" Alphys asked nervously.  
Undyne sighed, "Nah, he's cool. I don't mind him... It's just hard to keep up a conversation without you or Papyrus there, I guess. We don't have a lot in common."  
Alphys nodded, understanding, "I-It's okay. I do-don't have a lot in common with Papyrus, either..."

You listened to them talk while Alphys raided your science shelf. It was nice to have someone in the store for once. It was nice actually having someone you could talk to.  
They talked mainly about their friends and about the different science books. Once in a while you gave your two cents on a topic, but ultimately you kept your mouth shut in anxiousness. You were a bit worried you'd say something wrong or upsetting.

Alphys grabbed her pile of books and smiled at you softly, "I-I think I'm done..."  
You smiled back at her while you and Undyne helped her put the books on the counter, ready to be checked out.

She had grabbed at least a dozen, and you wondered how quickly she'd be able to read them. Alphys typically came in for hauls like this for the past three or so months, coming back every one or two weeks. This was the most she's ever bought at once, though, so it was mainly curiosity that wondered next time she'd come back. You also enjoyed her company.

You checked out the books one by one until you picked up that astrology book they had been flipping through for a long while. While Alphys or Undyne wasn't paying much attention, you put it off to the side.

You bagged up all the books into a paper bag and gave Alphys the price for them.

"I-It's only that much?" Alphys seemed confused, "I-I'm pretty sure that-that it's missing at least tw-twenty dollars or so."

She paid for her books with an awful amount of confusion, muttering to herself that something couldn't be right. And, before anyone could say anything, you pulled out that astrology book and dumped it right into the bag with the others.

The two girls turned towards you with wide eyes.

"_-_?" Alphys said, flabbergasted.  
You smiled shyly at her, "I noticed... Um, like, how much you really seemed to enjoy that one in particular..." you began to nervously look towards the ground, "And you've been a real joy to have around, so... Let's just say that astrology book was on me."

You felt both of their eyes on you, but you were too nervous to look back at them. Your heartbeat grew quicker and your palms felt sweaty and you kept asking yourself if you made a stupid decision.

"_, I-I can't take this," Alphys finally stuttered out, "I-It's too much!"  
"_," Undyne said in a calm manner while Alphys began blurting out nonsense.

Undyne's calm, collected voice made you turn up and look at them. Alphys's face was a bright red and she seemed to be in a frenzy almost. Undyne looked at you with appreciation and a warm smile.

You felt your voice come back to you, albeit a bit small and weak, "A-Alphys... It's just a thank you."  
Alphys's speech stopped and she looked at you hesitantly, "I-I can't take it, _."  
"You've been one of my best customers in a long time," you stuttered out awkwardly, "A-and... I-I... You can show it to your friend, I guess, and tell them a silly story about it..."

 _Real good excuse, _,_ you thought to yourself.

"Dude!" Undyne turned towards Alphys and then towards you, "I think I hit the lucky jackpot with my awesome new boss!"  
You blushed in spite of yourself, "I-I-I-"

Alphys looked at the bag with caution, "..._, t-thank you."

You exhaled deeply, "I was worried you'd say no. It's just a silly little present. I hope you get a lot of use out of it."

"I-I hope w-we will too," Alphys took a deep breath, "U-Undyne and I-I we-were thinking about s-stargazing s-sometime soon. I really appreciate it, _."  
Undyne smiled down at her small girlfriend, "It's gonna be wicked, I'll tell you both that much! We even got a new telescope for the whole thing!"

"I hope you two have fun," you put a hand through your hair, smiling awkwardly.

Alphys smiled at both of you softly, "It was n-nice seeing both of you today. T-Thank you again, _. This means a lot."  
Undyne hugged the small dinosaur, kissing her for a second. Alphys face went bright red and you held in a laugh. They were cute together. Really cute, "I love you, babe. I'll see you when I get home!"

"I-I love you too, Undyne," Alphys quickly rushed out, "I'll see b-both of you l-later, I hope."  
You smiled widely at her sentence, "I hope so too. Have a nice day, Alphys."

Alphys grabbed her bag from the table, having to use both of her hands and arms to carry it. She turned towards you and then Undyne. She beamed at both of you happily and walked out the store, the bell chiming cheerily with her.

The store filled with silence for a moment before you heard Undyne take a deep breath.

She turned towards you and embraced you suddenly, "Dude, thank you so much. My girl's been having a hard time with human punks lately and we really appreciate you treating us with so much kindness."  
You froze for a second, but then slowly returned the embrace to the red-haired monster in front of you, "There needs to be kinder people out in the world, I suppose..."

Undyne let go of you and flashed a smirk, "Definitely. You seem to have something special going on though, _!"  
Your face flushed again, "N-Not really..."  
"I'd say you do!" Undyne sat up on the counter again, not unlike the events from yesterday, "I'm starting to like you and this job as each minute passes, honestly... Don't worry, this isn't some punk ass attempt to warm up to the boss and blah, blah, blah. If I didn't like you, you'd know that I didn't."

You began laughing, harder than you had in a long while. It was refreshing to talk to someone as honest as her for once, "Well, thank you, Undyne! That actually means a lot... I guess I got real lucky with you as my first employee."


	4. Invitation

**(a/n: sorry for the slow build, but every chapter will serve a purpose. and besides, we're a lot closer to the action than you'd think lovelies. message me on tumblr over at icyleaves if you wanna talk about how cute sans is or anything really.)**

The day had been the busiest in months.

It was a warm Friday, just barely cold enough to suffice a jacket. You were sure that a lot of the visitors came just for that, no one wanted to shop outside when it was freezing.  
Well, some people did but you definitely weren't one of them.

Undyne had been working for you for almost three weeks at this point. You grew to know more about her, Alphys, and a lot of their other friends. They all seemed like a quirky group of monsters... You couldn't help but feel a little jealous of your coworker sometimes.

Mostly it was just for the fact you didn't really have anyone to hang out with like that. Sure, you had old school friends but... It wasn't like you regularly hung out with them. It was actually rare if anyone messaged you nowadays – including dad. You always tried to reassure yourself that, in the end, books were better than people and that they wouldn't ever leave you.  
It didn't really make it hurt less though.

A group of girls walked in, making their ways through the young adult and romance sections. You smiled slightly to yourself while you listened to their chatter about boys and school. Undyne made a face and groaned.

"Is there something wrong?" you teased quietly, suppressing a small chuckle.  
She rolled her eyes, "They're all punks."

You turned your attention towards the monster, a sense of worry took over the amusement, "Are you okay, Undyne?"  
She looked at you and sighed, "Yeah, yeah... Just some dumbasses being dumbasses, it's okay."  
You frowned, "I know that we might not be, like, really close or anything, but... If you want to talk, I'm here for you."

Undyne stared at you for a moment and you began to feel yourself sweat, but then she started laughing, "Geez, you're such a NERD! We're friends, after all, so don't sweat it too much. Last night, I walked past some ignorant human dicks and they were saying rude stuff about monsters. It's just annoying when people are quick to judge."

"And it's hard to get first impressions out of their heads, huh?" you added quietly, shaking your head.  
Undyne took a deep breath, "I guess you understand?"  
"More than I'd like to."

Undyne smiled comfortingly at you and ruffled your hair a bit. You chuckled softly, warmed by the thought that she called you her friend. A small part of you wasn't sure if she was saying that just to be nice, but you liked to believe that you two were becoming closer as the days went on.

After all, it was a bit hard not to know someone you spent almost half of your day with.

The girls went up to you and bought their books one by one. Most of them chose series such as _The Hunger Games_ or and authors like John Green. Sterotypical teenager stuff, but not bad books themselves. You actually had read most of them and ended up enjoying them more than you thought – a shame most of them were chalked up to be only for teens.  
A girl, the last one who seemed to be introverted, placed a book on the counter shyly. You weren't expecting her choice at all, in all honesty, and instead thought it would be like the other girls'. It was a classic, one that you held near and dear to your heart.

"I love this book!" you smiled at the girl, scanning the item, "It's actually one of my favorites."  
Her face turned red and she seemed a bit embarrassed about her choice, "Um, I-I..." her voice turned soft, almost a whisper, "The other girls teased me about it..."  
You frowned, "Well, it's a classic. It's one of the best damn books you'll read out there, I promise. If you don't like it – you can have a full refund."  
She giggled at you, "I think I'll like it. Thank you."

She returned to her group of friends, seeming a bit cheerier than just a moment ago. You felt your face turn into a wide smile as you watched the girls chat and leave the store.  
Undyne looked at you oddly, and you were sure it was because of the stupid grin you had plastered on your face.

You didn't care though. You had made that girl's day and you were sure of hell proud of it. If you couldn't make your day go well, make someone else's.

"_, I swear to god you're one of the nicest people I've ever met," Undyne shook her head.  
Your face flushed immediately, "No, no! I... I just... I just thought she seemed nervous about the book and it's a really good one, I promise and like. Like. I didn't want her to be scared about buying one of the best books out there?"

"You're so weird!" Undyne chuckled as you stopped rambling, "Like, let's call the major dork alert because you're a huge dork!"  
"...I guess I am?" you stuttered out nervously.

"That reminds me," Undyne stopped laughing, looking at you seriously, "So. This might sound weird, and you're allowed to say no if you don't feel up to it."

You looked at her strangely, giving her the impression you were either confused or pissed. Undyne personally hoped for the first.

"I say that because I've seen how bad you are at saying no," Undyne placed a hand on her hip dramatically, "So if I tell you that you can say no, you should be able to feel free to say no."  
You laughed, not noticing Undyne releasing the tension from her shoulders.

"Alright!" She clenched her fist heroically (you realized on day three she had a habit of doing so) and looked at you, determination shining in her eyes, "I have an important question to ask you! And whilst I would like if you did say yes, you can say no and I promise not to noogie you _this time_!"

Undyne took a deep breath, regaining her confidence.

She pointed at you almost as if she was challenging you for a fight, "You! _! I am inviting you to a potluck me and Alphys are having on Saturday with a few other of our friends! Do you accept or decline?"

You eyes widened, unable to really comprehend what she was saying.

"You know, like, a potluck?" Undyne's attitude seemed to deflate, "It's like a party where everyone brings a food dish... And they all eat the food once everyone's there?"

You finally comprehended what she had said and let out an, albeit awkward, laugh, "I-I know what a potluck is, you nerd. I... I'm just, like, are you sure you want me to go?"  
Undyne seemed more confused than you had ever seen her before, "UM. Like. Yes? I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want you to."  
"But, like," you frowned, trying to make your mouth shut up but it just wouldn't, "I'm really awkward and kind of weird and antisocial and, like... I'm not really interesting. I'd probably be a bore."

 _Way to go, _._

Undyne frowned at you, almost to the point of a glare, "No friend of mine is going to think of themselves like that! I think you are cool and I'd like you to meet some of my other friends, too! You'd probably get along with them and if you don't... I get it."  
You shook your head, "Undyne, I..."

"Please say yes."  
"Undyne-"  
"Yes?"  
"Can-"  
"YES?"

You started laughing, an ugly snorting sound, "Oh my god, Undyne. I _was_ going to say yes. But first I need to know what even the plans are."  
"OH MY GOD YES," Undyne jumped on you, hugging you suddenly and squeezing. You weren't used to this type of affection at all, so your first reaction was to freeze. Your second reaction was (well, not returning a hug is rude) so you patted her back awkwardly and chuckled. Becoming friends with people seemed like you had to endure more of these awkward hugs.

Undyne smelt a bit like sushi.

"Dude, I'm so happy you said yes," she said, letting you go, "I already may have told everyone that you said yes already and they've been excited to meet you, so. Thanks."  
You narrowed your eyes, angry in a friendly way, "Maybe I'll say no?"

You teased but Undyne pouted at you, "You can't say no now!"

Undyne and you both looked at each other for a second before bursting out laughing. It was nice, you thought, to be able to talk to someone like this again.

"Fine, fine!" you admitted defeat, talking through giggles, "I won't say no, but you might have to tell me the plans you guys have."  
"I thought you were supposed to know that!" Undyne teased, "Here, lemme see your phone."

Undyne grabbed your phone out of your hands, inserting random numbers and letters in a frenzy-like state. So much so, you began to worry if it'd turn out like the register fiasco. Instead, she smiled and handed you back your phone.

 _THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER UNDYNE  
XXX-XXX-XXXX_

Your hand immediately went to your mouth as you began snorting hard. You didn't know exactly what you were expecting, but it sure wasn't that.

"Oh my god, Undyne," you said through hard gasps, "You're killing me here."  
Her face went into a huge smile, "Good! You deserve it!"

You began to calm down, taking deep breaths. Your tummy hurt, but definitely not in a bad way. It was more in a 'life is amazing right now and this might be the best stomach pain I've ever felt in my entire life' type of way.

Undyne watched and didn't say anything until you entirely settled down, "Alright, punk! We're having a potluck like I said before, but feel free to bring anything you'd like. I don't know how you're cooking skills are so bring whatever you're good at cooking, I guess. I dunno. We're starting at six tomorrow."  
"And where must I go to taste these delicious dishes?" you said with a fancy accent, giggling.  
Undyne smirked at you, "Wherever the delicacies are located, you punk! ...I'll just text you our address later. If I forget, text me."

You narrowed your eyes, "Promise you won't forget? I don't want to be stuck at home, waiting for your text while whatever I cook burns."  
"I can actually see that happening!" Undyne all but snorted, "And I won't forget. Just. Good idea to not ask last minute?"  
You giggled a bit, "But that's exactly what I wanted to do."


	5. Spilt Ketchup

**(a/n: alternative title: don't cry over split ketchup, _!)**

The only person that you knew would go grocery shopping at midnight was, of course, yourself.

You still felt exhausted and worn out, despite all the coffee you had downed mere minutes ago. Work was exhausting. Well. It was more like the ride to get back to your crappy old apartment complex was the exhausting part.

Since you didn't really have enough money to get a car, you relied heavily on the subways and your own feet. The subways, while crowded, stuffy, and long, were reliable and cost-efficent. Not with your own money, of course. Dad always bought you a year-round subway pass for Christmas.

It was nice too. Not really having to focus on anything for an hour or so. You didn't mind the subway, it was just that sometimes it got too crowded for your liking (or anyone's, really).

It only bothered you sometimes that you didn't have a car.  
This was definitely one of those times. (The subway ride had been delayed for about an hour, dropping you off at your stop around 11:30.)

You pushed the small cart from aisle to aisle, aimlessly wondering. You had already decided to keep the bookstore closed for the entire weekend – a feat you hadn't done for years. It wasn't like you really had someone to close the store for, and some extra cash always sounded good to anyone.

The reason why you were shopping so late in the night when you had tomorrow off wasn't for any special reason. It was just because you were lazy and didn't want to get out of your house tomorrow. Except for the potluck.

You were a bit nervous thinking about it; you hadn't really been to any sort of party since high school and that was _years_ ago.  
You desperately hoped you wouldn't make a fool out of yourself and do something dumb. And you hoped that Undyne's friends would like you. If they didn't, well, maybe Undyne would stop caring for you as well...

Sighing, you tried to make yourself stop thinking about all the negatives that could happen. It wasn't going to make anything better.  
Instead, you tried focusing on what you wanted to make.

Mom had always been the better cook around the house, while you and dad just watched and ate. You had her old recipe books, dusty and old tucked away on a bookshelf.  
You remembered a few favorite dishes that you loved as a child, but nothing really screamed out for you to make. It was a first impression, after all. The best dish to make would be something that you could easily make a lot of.

Damn, that reminded you, you totally forgot to even ask how many people were going to be there.

You groaned. _How much am I supposed to even make?  
_  
It would be better if you made more than needed, although you hardly ate anything as is. Leftovers might mean bad news, especially if it was something gross.

Leave it up to you to over think a simple potluck.

Then it hit you.

Whenever your family did something involving food, your mother always made pumpkin casserole. It was an easy dish, you had even helped her out making it before. You even made it all by yourself one Thanksgiving.

You smiled slightly to yourself, albeit a bit tiredly. You wished the coffee would kick in.

Although you weren't making the most exciting or unique dish, it still (might?) come out tasty. Besides, it wasn't easy to screw up a casserole of all things.

You picked out the ingredients for the dish, picking up items like canned pumpkin and flour. While shopping for the items, you did a little bit of grocery shopping for yourself.  
Which mainly included a lot of frozen items and hot cocoa. You could hardly be bothered to really make a huge dinner for your party of one.  
And hot cocoa was a wonderful godsend.

You were almost completely finished with your groceries before you decided to head towards the sauces isle.

There wasn't anything too interesting or eye-catching in here, you just needed to grab a bottle of mayo for sandwiches and other stuff later.

A thing that was eye-catching, however, was the other person in the aisle.

It was a skeleton, a sight that you hadn't really gotten used to yet. He wore cerulean, over-sized jacket along with black gym shorts that had a white stripe in the middle. To finish the look, he wore a pair of pink slippers.  
You almost giggled a little bit at his slippers, but then you'd thought about how you'd probably do the same thing at this time of day. And also, you wouldn't really want someone to laugh at you for doing so.

You noticed he was on his tippy-toes, reaching for a bottle of ketchup on the top shelf. He was a bit shorter than you, but only by an inch or so.

Hating be short, you felt a need that you didn't completely understand.

You walked up next to him, trying to grab for the same bottle he was only moments ago. He stood normally and you could feel him staring at you. You felt too nervous to even return a glance, let alone say anything to him.

You heard him chuckle a bit, a low but almost nice sounding voice, as you stood on your tip toes as well.

"i guess we both need to ketchup on our height?" he said, watching you grab the bottle of tomatoes.

His pun surprised you as your fingers caught the very edge of the bottle. You turned to look at him as you accidentally chucked the ketchup, hard, on the ground between you both.

The ketchup bottle broke open, exploding strands of ketchup on both you. It landed everywhere – on your face, on his skull, in your hair, all over both of your pants, and even onto the shelf on the other side.

You looked at him in horror and you both seemed to be too shocked to say anything.

Finally you realized what you just did and almost screamed, "Oh my god, oh my god. I am so, so, so sorry! I-I didn't know that it was gonna fall like that but I guess it was my fault because I kind of chucked it down on the ground, huh? Oh my god, I'm so sorry."  
He seemed surprised by your rambling, his eyes (eyesockets?) widening, "hey, kiddo, it was just an accident. it's-"

You accidentally cut him off, to anxiety ridden to really understand anything besides your feelings, "Do, like. Do you want me to pay for some new clothes? I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry... You probably don't want to go home with ketchup all over you – I'm so sorry!"

He finally cut you off, "hey, don't worry about it. it's not anything to get too saucey about."  
Your anxiety filled nerves laughed at his joke, a bit harder than you would usually, "I-I... That was pretty good."

He smiled brightly at you, "what can i say? i've got quite the funny bone."

You smiled back at him and laughed, you felt your hands shaking nervously, "I. I'm really sorry about spilling ketchup all over you."  
Taking a deep breath, you shook your head, "I can pay for some new clothes if you'd like. It wouldn't be a big deal... I, I just know I wouldn't want to go home in ketchup soaked clothing."

He shook his head back at you, "kiddo, look. you've got ketchup all over you, even more so than i do. besides, i love ketchup. so it's no big deal."  
You felt so _anxious_ , adrenaline pumping through your veins, "T-Thank you. I'll feel bad if I just leave without even doing anything in apology though."

"m name's sans. sans the skeleton," he held his hand out to you, his grin plastering his whole face.  
You stared at him for a moment, confused.

"i might be more dead by the time you shake my hand," Sans joked around, trying to ease the tension you had.  
Cautiously, you shook his hand. It was bony, of course, but not neccesarily in a bad way. It kind of felt like someone's hand who worked in construction - callused and rough. It was nice.

"My name's _," you smiled nervously, only then realizing how sweaty your palms must've been, "It's nice to meet you, Sans."

The name felt familiar, but you really had no clue to who this monster was. A nagging feeling of nostalgia kept coming up to mind but you pushed it away.

You only knew two things about him anyways. He was way too nice to you for spilling ketchup everywhere on him and that he probably really liked puns.

"_, huh? nice," he said awkwardly, and it was only then you could tell he was probably just as anxious as you were.  
"I guess it would hurt to be fibulaing to you at this point," you laughed.

He looked at you for a second before chuckling again, letting go of your hand, "i don't know, it might be pretty humerus."

"I was about to offer to grab some more ketchup for you, but it might not be a great idea?" You smiled at him widely, feeling a bit too giddy for someone who just spilled at least forty ounces of ketchup on yourself and a stranger. It was probably just the coffee kicking in.

He laughed again, and you felt an odd sensation of wanting to make him laugh again and again (what could you say? The skeleton had a nice laugh), "i guess us shorties have to make do with smaller bottles of ketchup."

Your smile wouldn't fade away, it just kept growing, "Sadly, it seems... I'd hate to ask a personal question, but why did you need a family sized bottle of ketchup?"  
"i love ketchup," he smiled.

You kept laughing for some odd reason, feeling a bit silly.

"look, kiddo, if you really feel that bad about spilling a bottle of condiments on us," Sans seemed to look a bit nervous, "you could always, well. give me your number?"

 _Was he hitting on you?_ You thought as you felt your entire face turn red, almost as red as the tomato sauce all over your pants.

"i-i mean, like," He awkwardly stuttered out, uncomposed, "if you want to. it would be nice to talk to a fellow pun lover."  
You grabbed your pocket out of your phone and took a deep breath, handing it to the skeleton, "We should start a club together. Call it the punnies."

He laughed as he held his phone out towards you. You both exchanged phone numbers and you felt just a little bit silly. You hadn't really heard of anyone exchanging numbers after literally ruining both of your clothes.

You gave your phones back and you noticed a small blue hue on Sans's face but you didn't comment on it. Instead you looked at your phone and held in a snort, "Oh my gosh, you put yourself as the _Sansmaster_?"

Sans looked at you and smiled shamelessly, "what can i say? at least i'm not boring and put my name as _."  
You couldn't help the ugly snort that came out this time, feeling like a little high school girl all over again. You even stuck your tongue out at the skeleton, "The Sansmaster, oh my gosh. That is definitely one way to get to know someone."

"if you're saying puns are the way to go," Sans winked, "i've always got a femur."

Giggling, you smiled widely, "Tibia honest, I feel like that might be the better way for you to go. The Sansmaster is so – _dorky_."  
He shrugged, a smile plastered so _dorkily_ on both of your faces.

You couldn't help it. You were almost positive that the reason you were so giggly was because of the adrenaline mixed with the coffee.

Sans and you walked around the store, asking for attendance with the ketchup mishap. Both of you ended up helping the employees with the clean up (It was easy to tell how grateful they were for it). You talked for hours on end until you finally realized it was three in the morning and almost all of your frozen items were thawed.

You instead just bought the items for the pumpkin casserole along with your precious hot cocoa, as you assumed grocery shopping could wait another week or two.

Both of you left the store and parted your ways, although Sans had seemed a bit hesitant at first – wanting to walk you home even. However, you felt a little silly and declined despite his persistence. You both ended up bidding your farewells at the grocery store with a promise to talk to each other again.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you fell asleep with a smile on your face.

 **(a/n: see? i don't lie, my lovelies. sans finally ketchup'd to our plot! please tell me what you thought down below!)**


	6. Potluck (It's Nice to Meet You!)

**(a/n: im gonna start posting every other day instead of every day, that way i can edit chapters better and add more to them! :* )**

The apartment smelt the way your old childhood house had before mom died. It smelt like something baking, something warm and fresh and tasty.  
From just the smell alone, you were quite delighted about your pumpkin casserole. While you weren't the best cook you knew – not by a long shot, it wasn't easy to screw up something as easy as a casserole. Besides, mom's recipes were thorough. She knew how bad your family was at cooking. She always knew exactly what to do.

Days like these were the days you missed her the most. Although it had been a good few years since she passed, it still stung deeply. She had been the one person there for you since, well, birth. You guessed that everyone would leave you somehow or another.

You found yourself contemplating if you should even go to this potluck. You hardly knew Undyne and Alphys, much less anything about their friends. The only thing you really remembered was that they had a friend named Papyrus who really loved spaghetti and had trained with Undyne in the Underground. And you were more than certain there would be more than just him.

It wasn't easy, being this antisocial. It was hard enough coming out of your comfortable, safe, little bubble to talk to anyone in the store. You shuddered to think about how tonight would go.

...Maybe it'd go awful. Your casserole could turn out to be a fiasco, someone could be allergic, everyone would hate you and realize how much of a total mess of a person you were. Some days it was hard enough to even breathe for you. Normal people didn't ever feel like that.

You felt like you were defective. An item that needed to be recalled, something that needed to be fixed...  
Or destroyed.

Not helping your mood, you remembered Sans last night and groaned. You probably embarrassed yourself silly. No sane person really laughed that much. He probably just kept talking to you because you followed him around the store for hours (did he follow you? ...It doesn't matter). You liked talking to him. It was easy to let your guard down around him, even if the way you broke the ice was spilling a bottle of goddamn ketchup everywhere.

You wanted to talk to him again, but you felt a sense of unease immediately following that thought. What if that was a fluke? What if you two met again and he absolutely despised you and your personality?

Sans seemed different. He seemed, well, really extraordinary.  
You could never compare to someone like that – not being as simple and boring as you felt you were.

You really knew you should stop thinking like this. It wasn't going to do you any good, it never did. But like always, once it started it wasn't like you had much control of it anymore.

The casserole smells reminded you of autumn. It was that time of year too. Not late enough for pumpkin carvings, or really even anything that you enjoyed about this time of year. Too warm for hot cocoa, and too cold for t-shirts.

This time of year kind of sucked.

You decided to take a shower to stop thinking for a while. It was then, and only then, you realized that you had quite a bit of ketchup caked to your hair. You wondered if it looked like blood.

Even though you were meeting a whole group of people, you still didn't find yourself caring enough to wear something extremely fancy. You threw on a black, baggy, oversized sweater (A signature look for you. Mainly a sign of your laziness.) that had the words _I LIKE CATS_ printed on it. You threw on a pair of light skinny jeans and put a pair of old combat boots by the door to put on later.  
And as usual, you threw your wet hair into a bun. You never really cared much about hair products and styles – the only thing you really needed was hairbands.

While the casserole continued cooking, you noticed the time was getting close to five. You hurriedly texted Undyne, asking for her address.

She answered you quicker than you expected, telling you her address and calling you a punk. You sent her a quick thanks.

You took out the casserole and placed it into a portable, heat-retaining container. You were lucky dad was so bad at buying gifts, or else your casserole might be a lukewarm mess by the time you got to Undyne's.

It wasn't too far away, but still far enough that you had to take the subway. They lived in a nice neighborhood, one of the few places in the city that monsters could live without worry. You heard the landlords were nice enough and cared more about the money than the people living inside the houses – monsters or not. You actually were relived reading Undyne's address, you were glad that they were able to find a nice home here.

Not all humans were bad... Just the... _The loud majority._

Your heart felt heavy, and you felt the dread for the potluck creep up on you again. You wished desperately in your heart that they might like you, but... Knowing yourself, you were bound to make a mistake.

You laced up your old boots, grabbed the casserole, and headed out the door; locking it up as you left.

Xxx

Despite everything, nothing could've prepared you for the moment of truth. You stood outside Undyne's suspected door (you prayed that it was her door) and began to think of all the possibilities that could go wrong.

You tried to avoid thinking about it the minute you left your house. Even though you were an anxiety-ridden fool, you at least knew some smart moves. You had plugged your headphones on full blast and tried to think of something else besides the damned potluck. It ended up being... More depressive, even somewhat sinister things.  
Unneeded to be said, you didn't really make yourself feel any better.

At this point though, you wondered if it would be rude if you didn't eat much. A potluck did require eating other people's foods. Maybe you could be okay with just eating a small portion of everyone's without seconds, stay for a little while, and leave before you messed everything up.

The time was a little after six, and you felt embarrassed you were a bit late.

You took a deep, anxious breath and knocked on the door hesitantly.

Undyne swung it open, a wide smile on her face.

"Heya, boss!" She grinned widely, stepping aside so you could enter, "Glad you could make it!"  
You vaguely felt your hands shaking a bit, getting sweatier as you clutched on the casserole's container for dear life, "H-hey, Undyne."  
She closed the door behind both of you, "Almost everyone's here, we're just waiting on the damned skeletons."

You didn't say anything, but you couldn't help but think of Sans.

Instead you smiled and followed Undyne to the living room where a table with many dishes was located. There was a goat-type monster with long, floppy ears and a human child with a cute striped sweatshirt sitting down.

"Hey, Tori! Frisky!" Undyne pointed at you when you guys walked in the room, "This is _. My boss."  
You felt a bit embarrassed about being called her boss, but you assumed it was true. You smiled, albeit awkwardly, "H-Hello."

You placed your casserole nervously on the table, almost slamming it as your hands were shaking so bad.

 _Don't freak out here. Not now. Please. Please. Don't freak out. Act normal for once in your goddamn life!  
_  
The goat monster looked at you with a motherly, warm smile, "Hello, _. My name is Toriel and this is my child, Frisk."  
Frisk smiled at you and began to sign, which caught you a bit off guard.

Toriel seemed to understand that you didn't know sign language and began interpreting what she was saying, "Frisk says that it's nice to meet you. They say that Undyne and Alphys have been talking about you a lot."  
Your face flushed, and you stuttered awkwardly, "It's nice, um, to m-meet you guys too!"

Frisk began to laugh, an adorable child's laugh which made you want to hug them instantly. That would be weird though, so you refrained yourself.

You guys heard the door knock, a harsh and unrestrained almost punch to the door. It made you jump a bit when you first heard it, although Toriel and Frisk just smiled a little.

Undyne went to go get the door, leaving you with the goat mom and child.

You smiled nervously.

"So, _, I heard you work at a bookstore," Toriel inquired, "Is it the one down on Crest Street?"  
You nodded, "Yeah... It's been in my family for a few years now."  
"That is very cool to hear!" Toriel seemed to be trying to act a bit younger, and you stiffled a small laugh – although Frisk giggled with glee in their tone, "Bookstores are such a joy, don't you think, my child? We should go visit it someday."  
Frisk nodded excitedly, their hair going up and down along with them.

You wondered if Frisk was mute, or just selectively so. It was a bit rude to ask someone that type of question, especially during a first meeting, so you just kept quiet.

You heard the door swung open and wondered if Undyne had a habit of doing that. You hadn't really noticed if she'd done that with the door at the store, but you hardly noticed anything significant. Dad _did_ called you a duntz sometimes.

"UNDYNE," A loud, but ultimately harmless sounding voice bellowed, "I HAVE BROUGHT TO YOU A GIFT OF POTLUCK SPAGHETTI."  
Undyne snorted, "Thanks, Pap! I'm sure your spaghetti skills are getting better with each time you make it."

Toriel and Frisk snickered, and you assumed that they all must've known each other at some point or another. You felt like an intruder, almost. So much so that you kind of felt like running out of their house and never coming back.

You sat down and wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans.

"don't encourage him," you heard a familiar voice speak, "we'll have spaghetti four times a day instead of three."

Remembering last night with an alarming shock, you felt your blood freeze.

Undyne came in with two skeletons – a tall one (almost taller than the living room's doorway) with a red scarf, a crop top that exclaimed the words COOL DUDE, an almost speedo looking type pants(?), and red boots. And another one that looked comfortingly familiar in a blue jacket and pink slippers.

"Papyrus, Sans," Undyne pointed at you for the second time tonight, but this time you felt less anxious and more dreadful, "This is my friend/boss, _."

You felt your voice go hoarse, "H-hi."  
"HELLO FELLOW HUMAN," Papryus put a hand on his hip flamboyantly, "I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS. YOU ARE WELCOMED TO MEET MY ACQUAINTANCE."  
Sans, however, looked and you and gave a huge, shit eating grin, "i guess it's time for us to ketchup again, right, _?"


	7. Potluck (We've Met Before)

You started to feel like life hated you at that point.

Literally everything that could wrong **does**.

Sans smiled at you widely, chuckling to himself. The others looked at you with very, very confused expressions on their faces. You were sure your entire face was a bright red color – like goddamn ketchup almost.

"I," you started, not even knowing what to really say, "I, um."

Undyne glared at Sans, "Sans? What the hell, punk?"  
He kept smiling throughout it all, even though Undyne was almost literally throwing daggers at him, "it's funny, 'cause..."

Sans put his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "i wasn't expecting to see you here."

You then realized he was talking to you and you forced a weird smile, "H-hi, um, Sans... I'm still really sorry for last night."

Undyne whipped her heads towards you, her ponytail flying along with it, "_? What the hell?"  
It was time for Undyne to be glared at, this time by Toriel, "Undyne."

"it's cool, kiddo," Sans smirked, "besides, i'm sure you got more ketchup on you than i ever did."  
Your face flushed, "...I-I'm still really sorry!"

"OKAY," Undyne groaned loudly, "_, come with me right now!"

Undyne didn't wait for your response, she pulled you by your sweater sleeve roughly and you practically ran to the kitchen nearby.

The fish monster crossed her arms together and took a deep breath. It was only then when you really noticed how nice she looked that night.

"_. What the hell?"

You laughed a bit nervously, trying to ease your nerves, "I-I... Um, well. Last night when I was buying groceries, well..."  
Undyne raised an eyebrow but said nothing, letting you continue on with your story.

"I saw someone in the aisle and they seemed to be struggling with grabbing something off the top shelf and," you took a deep breath, staring at the ground, "I went to go grab it for them since I was a bit taller. It didn't really work out though, because I accidentally kind of chucked it down on the ground and it exploded. And. Ketchup might've gone everywhere?"

Undyne stared at you for a moment and then began snorting, shaking her head wildly, "You punk! I thought something bad might've happened to you! Dude. You worried me!"  
You felt yourself smile in spite of yourself, "W-well, I'm okay. T-thanks for worrying, I guess..."  
She stopped laughing for a moment and looked at you, "That's what friends are supposed to do, right?"  
"Y-yeah," you wiped your palms on your jeans.

Undyne made a tsk sound, "Geez. I wonder what kind of puns Sans made on your poor soul."  
"Is he known for that?" you asked, "I didn't know whether or not that was just something he did when he was nervous. I... I tend to laugh really loudly when I feel awkward or anxious."  
"I've noticed, punk," Undyne smiled, "So. Like. What happened afterward?"  
"What happened afterwards?" you frowned, "What do you mean?"

She gaped at you, "WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS? LIKE. What happened after the stupid ketchup mistake!"  
You stared at her for a moment and started giggling, "Undyne, oh my gosh... I just talked to him for a little while, I guess? I still feel kind of bad for spilling a bottle of ketchup everywhere..."  
"Sans loves ketchup. Really. You don't need to feel sorry for that at all. He might've been in heaven when it all happened."

Before you said anything, Undyne quickly added, "You'll just see what I mean when I say he loves ketchup."

You smiled, "I guess so?"

Undyne and you walked back to the living room, and everyone seemed to be sitting down. Alphys was the only one standing and you guessed that she had been waiting for Undyne.

You assumed that Sans had told them all about your little mishap last night, as Toriel and Alphys looked at you with a bit of sympathy while Papyrus just smiled widely at you.

You had no idea where to sit, so you stuck close to the two girls' seats. Everyone seemed so nice, though, so it wasn't like it would've been a tragedy if you had to sit next to someone you didn't know. It was still a bit nerve-wracking, your stomach feeling like it had a million butterflies in it.

"It's time to eat, you nerds!" Undyne yelled unnecessarily loud.  
Everyone began to pass dishes to each other in a surprisingly controlled manner.

There was a wide variety of dishes on the table. It ranged from the more typical dishes (cheesy potatoes) to the bit more tropical (Toriel's escargot). Surprisingly or not, there was at least three huge bowls filled with different types of pasta. Two of them held spaghetti in them.

Even less surprisingly or not, the only thing Papyrus had on his plate was spaghetti. If you had known everyone better, you might've laughed. But you didn't so you kept your mouth shut, feeling for the umpteenth time that night very awkward.

Everyone else grabbed bits of each dish, and it turned out your casserole was popular. More than half of it was gone, and only Papyrus had gotten seconds thus far (on spaghetti).

You, on the other hand, had grabbed only a spoonful of everything. You barely felt like drinking your water, much less eating anything. The food was delicious, though, and you felt awful you had to pass it up.

"_?" Toriel looked at you curiously, almost a bit worriedly.  
You forced a small smiled, "Y-yes?"  
"Didn't you make this casserole?" She asked, you nodded hesitantly (did she hate it?), "This is exquisite. Do you mind if I have the recipe?"  
You took a deep breath and felt a natural smile come on, "Yeah... It was my mom's old recipe. I can give it to you later, if you'd like."  
Toriel's mood seemed to brighten, "I would love that! Wouldn't you, Frisk?"

Frisk ate a huge mouthful of the pumpkin to show their feelings, smiling with food stuffed in their cheeks. You laughed a little at the kid, thinking they looked a bit like a chipmunk carrying nuts.

You felt Sans staring at you throughout almost the whole dinner. Although you felt a bit more comfortable with the group of friends than at first, you still felt yourself sweat. You hardly could remember anything from last night besides you making a fool out of yourself.

There was a huge bottle of ketchup near him too. Maybe this was all a cruel joke.

You took your glass of water and began sipping it, stealing a glance at the hooded skeleton.  
Sans grabbed the bottle of ketchup, and before you could truly respond, he placed it in his mouth and squoze.  
You choked on your water.

Sans chuckled at you like a high school girl as you struggled to stop coughing. Everyone, however, seemed oddly normal with this behavior and just exchanged glances at smiles at each other.

Undyne was the first to truly say anything, "_... I warned ya, Sans loves ketchup."

"i relished to see your reaction," Sans joked, "it was a nice pesto change around here."  
You tried to stifle a laugh, "I don't really feel bad about last night then."  
Sans shrugged, smiling widely, "it mustard to regret meeting someone like me."

"SANS! STOP WITH YOUR PUNS THIS INSTANT! YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY BOTHERING THE NEW HUMAN HERE!" Papyrus yelled at his brother.

From what you had gathered, this was a cute almost family. Alphys and Undyne were (obviously) dating at had been for almost a few years now. Toriel had adopted Frisk once they had broken the barrier, but with many hardships. And Sans and Papyrus were brothers.

It was nice.  
It wasn't anything you were used to, for sure.

"aw, pap," Sans pretended to pout, "you're being too saucey."

"SANS!" Papryus groaned. You noticed a bit of love behind his words, and you could tell that the taller skeleton actually might've enjoyed Sans's puns. It was cute, though, how he pretended not to enjoy them.

"P-Papryus," you tried to direct his attention, "Did you make this spaghetti? I-It's literally the best spaghetti I've ever had. You should tell me how you make it, if-if you'd like."  
Papyrus's face lit up with bright orange, almost like Sans's had with blue (weird?) last night, "HUMAN! YOU FLATTER THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I KNOW I MAKE THE BEST SPAGHETTI BUT UNDYNE WAS THE ONE WHO ORIGINALLY HAD TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE IT."

You turned towards Undyne, and all she gave you was a proud and shy smile. She reminded you of mom on your graduation day.

"AHAHA!" Papyrus took a deep breath, "IN ORDER TO GAIN MORE FRIENDSHIP WITH THE NEW HUMAN. UNDYNE AND I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE SPAGHETTI ALMOST AS GREAT AS OURS!"  
"I-I don't know, I don't think I'll ever be able to match up to either of your greatness," you said shyly.

Papyrus shook his head, "NO! DO NOT THINK THAT WAY, HUMAN! I BELIEVE IN YOUR COOKING SKILLS. WE CAN SET UP A COOKING LESSON SOMETIME SOON. I PROMISE."  
You flushed, "Well, t-thank you! I only can hope to make something as great as this."

To emphasized how you felt, you took a bite of Papyrus's spaghetti. It actually was pretty damn good, you'd admit.

You noticed Sans staring at you again, this time with a small smile. You felt too shy to smile back at him though.

Toriel and Frisk snickered a bit to each other, but didn't say anything. Frisk had a wide, childish smile on their face like a kid who just stole candy and got away with it. They were just so adorable!

* * *

Dinner had passed with idle chit-chat. Sans drank more ketchup, almost wiping out the entire bottle. You were almost sure he tried to finish it to shock you, but you kept pretending that it didn't bother you anymore. Although, you did snicker here and there.

You actually had finished your entire plate for once. You didn't know if it was because of the food or just because you felt rude about not doing so. It was delicious though, so you could hardly find yourself to care.

It was really nice to be in this type of environment for once, especially after spending years stuck alone in your apartment.

Sometimes, days like these, you realized how much you'd been missing out on.

Papyrus seemed dead set on those cooking lessons and you two ended up switching numbers.  
You felt like monsters had an affinity for silly names, as he named himself THE GREAT PAPYRUS with a lot of cute smiley emojis. This time, it was a bit more expected though.

You actually got everyone's numbers. You felt a bit famous, although a little overwhelmed. It wasn't like you were used to this much attention – ever.  
Toriel and Frisk insisted on your mother's recipe and you promised you would send them it when you got home that night.

You felt a bit, well, at home with all of these people. You were sure you were jumping the gun a bit (or a lot a bit) and you were surely going to get abandoned again, but you decided to just enjoy the moments before it all came crashing down. It always did.

Everyone had sat in the living room after cleaning up dinner. You gave your bowl and the rest of the casserole to Undyne and Alphys, feeling like they'd get more use out if than you ever would.  
All of you sat there and talked about silly things. More stories about the Underground, Frisk's wild adventures, jobs, etc... You didn't really add much to say, but you found it nice to just feel welcomed like this.

Finally, though, you checked your phone and realized how late it was. It was almost one in the morning. Frisk had fallen asleep on Toriel's lap and Papyrus was knocked out on the ground.

You took a deep breath and smiled at everyone, "I, um, it's getting really late. I should probably start heading home now; I'd hate to be any sort of bother. Thank you for inviting me and making me feel w-welcomed."  
Undyne stared at you, "Dude. It's super late, like really. Just stay the night, it's good."  
You shook your head slowly, "N-no, but thank you. I'd hate to be a bother."  
"S-sometimes people c-can be d-dangerous at night. We'd j-just hate to see you get hurt, _-_..." Alphys added.  
Toriel looked at you with concern, "Child, we just want you to be safe. It's also been a delight making your acquaintance."  
"yeah, kiddo," Sans smiled at you, "stay for a little while?"

Every molecule of you wanted to say yes and be like an actual normal person, but you shook your head and faked a smile, "My house isn't too far away from here. I'll be okay. Besides, t-thank you for letting me come over and steal some of your time away. It was very nice meeting all of you."

The four looked at you with wide concern in their eyes (eyesockets for Sans), but you didn't notice it.

You sat up from the couch and thanked everyone again. They all seemed hesitant to let you go, but you all said your goodbyes and you headed out the door.

The air stung your cheeks and your nose the minute you headed out there, closing the door behind you.  
Your heart had been racing a million miles a second the whole time you were there, but you eventually had been able to calm down and make conversation. Small victories, you assumed.

You had lied to the monsters, but not without a guilty conscience. It was just that you didn't want them to worry about you. It seemed silly but you felt like, in these circumstances, it would just be better if they knew a little white lie than the entire truth.

Although the night air was freezing, the breather from the commotion was certainly welcomed. You began walking towards the subway station which was almost a mile away. Although you felt tired, you decided you'd just buy coffee when you got on the subway rather than risk taking a nap on it.  
Even if you'd hate to admit it, the city could be dangerous. No one lied to you about that.

About half way to the station, you heard footsteps coming towards you. They were fast and determined, catching up to you sooner than you'd like.  
Your heart felt like it crawled up to your throat and you checked your phone. Dead.

Scenarios ranging from bad to worse began playing out in your mind, and you felt your breathing get faster.

If this was the time you were going to die...

Oh god, you thought anxiously, I don't want to die! Please, please, please. For the love of god, let there not be a serial murderer following me.

You began hyperventilating, walking fast enough to almost call it a run. You became a bit light-headed, unable to focus on anything else besides your own footsteps.

Finally, the footsteps stopped and a hand landed on your shoulder.

Out of instinct, you screamed.


	8. Accident 2

You felt like an idiot. A completely rude, clumsy, anxious idiot.

The minute you felt something foreign on your shoulder, your fight response immediately kicked in. You turned around and slapped the stranger before you thought otherwise.  
Your hand didn't hit flesh – no, that'd be too easy for you, it was more like giving a marble table a high five. A slap sound did occur, but it sounded almost hollow and quiet.

You stared at the stranger in front of you and couldn't muster up the courage to say anything to them.

It was then, and only then, realization dawned in.

Sans stared at you wide-eyed, surprised. He didn't seem like your slap hurt him, but he definitely looked confused. You were sure he was pissed at you this time.  
Two awful mistakes in a little more than a day. You were doing real great, _.

"I," you stuttered out, your voice quiet and hoarse, "I'm so sorry..."  
Sans continued staring at you for a moment before chuckling, "you really have a way with introductions, kiddo."  
You couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore so you began glaring at the ground, "...I don't know what I was thinking... I don't even have an excuse; I'm so sorry, Sans..."

You felt your hand distantly throb, most likely hurt from hitting bones so hard. Your shame overwhelmed your emotions at that point, you could barely even feel the cold air anymore.

"kiddo," Sans said, "i probably surprised ya. i'm sure it might be kinda scary at this time of night."  
"..." You didn't say anything, instead you took a deep, shaky breath. You tried to calm down but felt tears prickling your eyes instead. You dug your fingernails into your palms to focus on anything else.  
"toriel told me i shoulda called you first," Sans chuckled, "i guess that goat lady's got some good tips once in a while."  
"...Sans," you said quietly, still refusing to meet his eyes.

The skeleton took a deep breath and patted your shoulder hesitantly, "we figured that something bad could've happened to you, _. i might've decided to see if i could find ya and see if you were okay. i also was gonna head back home."  
You chuckled softly, "I-I guess... I guess that might've been a bad idea, seeing me."  
"nah," Sans replied immediately, "it was worth it to see you were safe. besides, being a skeleton doesn't give you much feeling."

You finally turned to meet his eyes. He looked at you with a sincere expression and smiled widely.

"You don't have the nerves?" you joked.  
Sans's smile turned wider, "I don't have... Anything, really."  
You tried to smile back, "You are just skin and bones."

Sans chuckled at you, "what can i say?"

"...I'm sorry I hit you," you apologized, "And spilled ketchup all over you."  
"it's good. it gives a good story to tell people," Sans said.

You looked at him and smiled for real this time, "I feel like such an idiot..."

Sans shook his head at you, frowning a bit.

"Y-you didn't have to check on me or anything," you dug your fingernails further, "I've been living here for a long time. I'll be okay."  
"well." Sans took a long breath, "at least let me walk you home? you said your house wasn't too far from here, right?"  
You stared at him for a moment, "Well... About that."

He raised an (how do skeletons raise an eyebrow? An eyebone?) eyebone and looked at you curiously again.  
You felt the throbbing in your hand get more intense, and you released your hands into a more relaxed position, "...I didn't want any of you to worry, I guess. I have to take the subways back home, but they're safe. I'll be okay."

"do you have a car?" Sans asked.  
You shook your head.  
"kiddo," Sans smiled shyly at you, "we all wanted to make sure you got home okay, that's all."  
"Like I said, I'm sure I'll be okay," you laughed, "Thank you for checking up on me."  
There was that blue hue again, "no, no. i promise i won't hold this against you forever if you let me tag along with ya. besides, i know a few shortcuts to get back home."  
You frowned, "I live kind of far off from here."

Sans chucked, "i guess we better start moving then."

* * *

That night was different from the other. You felt awkward and idiotic for slapping the skeleton earlier, anxious nerves making you quiet and tense. You kept being reminded of your actions every second your hand throbbed painfully.

You assumed hitting skeletons wasn't in your best interest anymore.

Sans and you were lucky enough to not have to wait long for your subway. You felt awful he was traveling along with you, especially since you had just been awfully rude to him the past few days. He didn't seemed to mind, though, he just followed you and made a few puns to make the time go quicker.

His puns seemed to make you smile a bit too, so that was always a plus. (At least to Sans it was.)

"how long have you lived here?" Sans sat across from you, the subway just barely starting to move from the station.  
You raised an eyebrow at him, "Is that a pickup line?"  
Sans laughed and smiled, "maybe."  
You weren't expecting his answer so your busted out into wild laughter, "Sans, my gosh. If you wanted to use pickup lines, well, you could've skipped it all and picked me up."

You felt a bit glad the subway was empty besides from you two, as you filled up the entire vehicle with loud rounds of laughter.

"I've lived here since I can remember," you replied after catching your breath, "My mom and dad grew up here, got married, and had me."  
Sans listened to you attentively, "undyne told me you ran a bookstore?"  
"It was my parents," you said, "They gave it to me a few years ago. It's a little old and small, but it's like a home to me."

You took a deep breath, "Can I ask you some questions?"  
"shoot for it, kiddo," Sans replied.  
"I'll have you know I am twenty-three," You frowned, "I would like to think of myself as a child no more."

When Sans smiled at you, you felt confident enough to ask a question, "You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but... How was the Underground? I-I don't really know a lot about it..."  
"dirt-y. it wasn't bad, y'know, but nothing you'd want to call home. paps and i lived down in Snowdin. it was always winter down there," Sans seemed fond of the memories, "the only thing i really miss is grillby's. a friend of mine used to run a restaurant down there. best damn burgers you'll ever have. i think he might try to start it up here. we'll have to take you if he does."  
You smiled warmly, "I'd like that."

Sans's face lit up brightly.

"How old are you?" you asked, feeling silly.  
"there's a lot of years in these old bones," Sans joked, "a skele-ton."  
You pouted, "No, really."  
"...i'unno," Sans said, "it hasn't been a big deal to me before."

"where's your bookstore at?"  
"Crest Street. It's in the middle almost. It's close to a few clothing shops."  
"how days do you work for?"  
"Every day except for Sundays. I close down shop around nine at night."  
"do you like it?"  
"It's work."

You two continued on talking like this, just silly questions about each other. You didn't get into anything really heavy, and you quite thankful for that.  
You learned simple things about the skeleton; he loved Papyrus to death and they both lived together (but Sans disliked spaghetti), he worked odd and end jobs but typically worked at a hot dog stand on main street, and he enjoyed science stuff. You remembered how his name felt familiar and realized it was because Undyne and Alphys had talked about him that first day. You knew he liked astrology too.

"Is Papyrus staying at Undyne's?" you asked randomly, "I just remember you told me you were headed home, so..."  
"yeah, yeah," Sans replied, "i think they were gonna go running together or something."  
"Didn't want to go?"  
"i prefer to think of myself as a more inside type person."  
"Don't worry, me too," you laughed.

You smiled at the skeleton, "Thanks for coming with me... You didn't have to."  
"i was feeling bonely," Sans smiled back.

"I-I mean it," You stuttered out, "It was nice of you."

Sans's face brightened considerably.

"kiddo," Sans tried to break the silence that was eerily growing, "where do you even live? i swear we've been on here for a good hour."  
"We have?" you said quietly, "I didn't really notice... My stop is probably coming up in a few minutes."  
"wow," Sans whistled, "you might've meant the complete opposite when you said you lived close."  
You flushed out of embarrassment, "I... I just didn't want anyone to worry."  
Sans looked at you and shrugged, "it's good."

"You know," you took a deep breath, "You don't really have to walk me home or anything. I promise my house is pretty close to the station... I can pay if you need another ticket to get home or anything... I'm sorry for bothering you this late at night."  
"_," Sans smiled, "i know a few shortcuts. stop worrying."

You shook your head and began to open your mouth to say something but the intercom interrupted you. It announced you were now at your stop and the subway halted.

You got up and accidentally backhanded a metal pole with your bad hand. The pain showed up intensely and immediately.

"Shit," you cussed, louder than you had anticipated.  
Sans looked at you worriedly, "you ok?"  
You looked back at him and frowned, "Yeah, yeah..." The throbbing in your hand hurt with every pulse, "I just might've hurt my hand... I'll be okay."

You both walked out of the subway and Sans went to look at your hand. He held it gingerly within his own bony one. It felt nice, despite the pain. He checked it out from both sides, seeing the damage.

"it looks pretty swollen, kiddo," He frowned, "how'd you do this?"  
"...Probably from slapping you earlier," you squeaked out, "Which I'm still really, really, really sorry about."  
Sans shook his head, "i'm pretty hard-headed, you know."

You chuckled at his pun softly.

"does it hurt if i do this?" Sans asked, poking your hand softly.  
You winced, "A-A little. I'll just have to put some ice on it tonight and it should be good as new."  
Sans looked at you, shaking his head and laughing, "you're one of a kind, _."  
You blushed, "Does that make you one of a bone?"

Your puns were awful, you knew that for sure. Despite that, you still were able to make the short skeleton laugh a bit. That, above all else, felt like an accomplishment.

Sans and you walked towards your run-down apartment complex, having small conversation just like before. You started to really enjoy these social outings, even though it was just with Sans. Sans didn't make you feel awkward (well, he did but never in a negative way) and it was just easier to talk with him. It was easy to talk with everyone you've met tonight.

You knew better than to hope like this, but you prayed with every ounce of your being that they wouldn't turn out like everyone else.  
You hoped they wouldn't leave you.

When you finally got there (You technically weren't lying, your apartment wasn't too far away from the station. You two were just walking slow as hell), Sans seemed a bit surprised at your apartment. It wasn't really the nicest looking place but it was all you could afford.

Sans walked you to your door like a gentleman.

Gentle skeleton?

You opened up the door to your apartment and took a deep breath, "T-Thank you, Sans. I really appreciate you walking me home and all. And being really nice to me despite I haven't really made the best impressions on you..."  
Sans frowned, "you just needed to ketchup with me. 'm sure we'll have many more encounters where i'm the one spilling instead of you."  
You felt your face smile widely, "I-I hope so."

"i guess it's time for me to stop getting under your skin and head back home," Sans said after a moment, "it was nice seeing you again, _."

You frowned, "Do you know what time it is?"  
Sans looked confused, "time for me to go?"  
You laughed and shook your head, "No, no, bonehead. It's almost four in the morning. I'm sure this goes against everything I was taught as an innocent child, but... It's really late. Do you wanna stay over tonight? I-It wouldn't be a big deal, and you can say no if you're uncomfortable."

"I just would feel awful if I let you take me home this late and didn't do anything in return," You said awkwardly after Sans didn't reply, "Especially since I... Since I hit you..."

Sans looked at you for a moment, still speechless.

"I-I'm sorry..." You shook your head, "It was a dumb idea..."

"would i be intruding?" Sans finally said, quieter than his normal voice was.  
You stared at him for a second before giggling, "No, no. It's just good ol' me here. You're welcome to stay the night if you want to."

Sans seemed to ponder it for a moment, "kiddo, i know a few shortcuts back home. i-i'll be good."  
You found yourself dead-set on the notion, "Nuh-uh, it's late and I'll worry about you. So come on!"

uncharacteristic of you, you grabbed the skeleton's sleeve and pulled him inside your small home.  
It was a bit messy and smelled like pumpkins. You were thankful that you had picked up a little before you left though. You closed the door behind you both.

Sans stared at you for a moment, that blue hue returning once again, "kiddo, i..."  
"If you don't want to, you don't have to," you mumbled, "I just... I don't know. I guess I'm being the bonehead now."

Sans shook his head and laughed at you, "you're ridiculously cute and weird, _."  
Your face flushed brightly, "I-I... Maybe more like awkward."

The skeleton's laughter filled up the room happily, and soon your own chuckles joined along with his.  
It was a nice moment, you thought, and you found yourself wanting to fill your days with more memories like this. Memories like these could slowly replace the painful ones. Anything was worth a shot.


	9. Breakfast and Puns

**(a/n: OH MY GOD SO SOMEONE MADE FANART OF READER FOR THIS. PLEASE CHECK IT OUT. IT'S SO ADORABLE. I FEEL SO HUMBLED, MY DEAR GODS. if you guys ever make fanart for this, please please link me to it! i'd absolutely love to see it!)**

 **(fanart:** **/Elmer_Heiji/status/693604756108005376 )**

Waking up was difficult. It always was.

Your mind felt clogged and unclear at first, but memories instantly hit you after a moment – and hit you hard.  
There was a bag of unfrozen, warm (frankly, disgusting feeling) peas on your hurt hand and your back felt stiff from sleeping on a hardwood floor all night.

You sat up and took a deep breath, feeling oddly comfortable despite the circumstances. Your memories, even though the ending of last night was annoyingly hazy, explained the snoring skeleton on your couch.

Late last night (or was it early this morning?), you both realized how tired you were. Sans was knocked out by the time he laid down on your couch, almost immediately. You felt a bit rude going to your room for the night, so you went to your bedroom and put on some pajama bottoms. As you left it, you grabbed two fuzzy blankets.  
You placed one on Sans's sleeping body hesitantly, a bright pink one just for laughs, while you grabbed a pillow and fell asleep on the ground.

It wasn't really like you planned sleeping on the ground at first. You grabbed a book and read for a few minutes before you just... Kind of... Fell asleep?

Despite all of that, the only thing that was necessarily bad about this morning was your back. And that wasn't even all that bad. Your hand stopped throbbing as well, just leaving a big bruise on your palm.

You heard Sans's soft snores and you couldn't help yourself from smiling. In an odd way, you thought it was kind of cute.

You stood up quietly, stretching your arms and legs out. You yawned and headed towards your beaten up coffee machine. Whilst homemade (instant?) coffee wasn't the greatest, it still hit the spot better than no coffee.  
And hot chocolate always helped the bitter taste.

Sweets were your _thing._

The coffee machine turned on with a familiar hum, and you sat on the counter waiting for it to finish.

You heard Sans start to stur after a moment and laughed.

"Hey, sleepybones," you said softly as Sans sat up.  
He rubbed his eyes sleepily and seemed confused for a moment, "huh...?"  
You chuckled, "It's time to wake up."

Sans suddenly seemed alert with a jolt, taking in the scenery around him, "wow."  
You found yourself unable to stop giggling, feeling like a little kid, "I guess waking up to me has that type of effect on people."  
Sans's face turned to a familiar blue hue (what did that mean?!), "oh, hey, _... 'morning."  
"Good morning," you smiled warmly.

Sans got up off the couch and yawned, "hey kiddo, what you making?"  
"Coffee..." you found his yawning contagious, "Would you like some?"  
"i guess we're just yawn-ing around," Sans chuckled, standing next to you, "and sure."

Your face was hurting from smiling, but you could hardly care, "Are you sure you've got the stomach for it?"  
Sans stared at you for a second before laughing, "you're real humerus, aren't you?"  
"I've got the bare bones for it," you retorted.  
"your jokes are so bad, they're chilling me down to the bone," Sans winked.  
You pouted, "Stop telling me fibulas, you bonehead."

"two jokes in one go?" Sans shook his head, "i bet you can't do a fe-mur."  
"...Throw me a bone here, Sansy," you teased.  
"s-sansy?" Sans seemed embarrassed by your nickname, and you decided to try to call him that more often. (His reaction was admittedly cute.)  
"Uh-huh," you smirked, "Sansy seems a little flustered about his nickname."

The coffee timer beeped before Sans could reply to your teasing. You got up slowly and went to go pour both of you some glasses.  
"What do you like in your coffee?" you smiled, grabbing creamer out of the fridge.

"can i have some cream with _your_ sugar?" Sans chuckled, sitting down on your seat with a mischievous look.  
Your face instantly went red, realizing the small skeleton was hitting on you, "I-I... Of course, Sansy."  
Sans laughed as you put your focus back on the coffee, "i don't care, whatever you're having."

You grabbed the hot cocoa container out of the shelf, having to stand on your tip toes to grab it. You wondered why you even put it up so high in the first place.

You heard Sans snicker in the background.

"Do you like hot chocolate in your coffee?" you asked, stirring the powder into your own, "I've always been a bit weird, so... If you don't like it, I have cream out just in case."  
"never tried it," He said, "i'll just have it like you do."

You shook your head softly, "I've got a really big sweet tooth..."  
"these big bones aren't trying to lose any pounds," Sans joked, "so don't worry about it."

You made both of your coffee and sat Sans's in front of him, while you opted to hold it and stand on the other side of the counter in the kitchen.

Sans hesitantly grabbed it and took a sip.

"Do you," you started, "Is it bad?"  
The skeleton looked at you for a moment before shaking his head, "no, no, _. this is actually really good!"  
Smiling, you laughed, "I was worried you wouldn't have the guts for it."

Sans didn't reply, instead he just took a big drink of your coffee.  
You felt your smile grow wider.

For once, you didn't feel nervous having someone around. You hadn't felt this calm around anyone since you were a little kid. It was something about Sans's personality, or just the relaxing aura he brought along with him, that made you want to just sit down and talk with him. You knew you had only known him for a little more than a day or two, but you couldn't help it. At least let yourself enjoy this feeling.

 _One day_ , you thought bitterly, _it'd go away_.

Sans noticed your smile falter a bit.

"hey kiddo," Sans's voice brought you back to your senses, "do you know what time it is?"  
You turned to look at your oven timer, "It's almost eleven, why?"  
Sans smiled, "wanna go get some breakfast?"

"i know, i know," Sans interrupted before you could say anything, "coffee's pretty good. but hear me out."  
You chuckled, "Alright. Let's go get some breakfast."  
Sans seemed stunned for a second, "wait-"

"Let me go put some actual clothes on," you slammed your half-full coffee mug on the counter and went to your room, leaving a small skeleton speechless and flustered in your kitchen.

* * *

You didn't know what to really consider 'breakfast with Sans' meant.

 _Is this a date?_ You thought as you threw on an old hoodie, _No, no... Sans probably doesn't think of me like that. Like. We've know each other for less than two days, my god _._

Although you knew that it was probably just Sans being nice, you felt a little silly and girly about thinking of it as a date. You just wanted to be his, and everyone else's, friend despite thinking that they might not like you. Just because you thought it didn't mean it was real, right?

You tried not to ponder that as you threw on a pair of black leggings and old combat boots, refixing your hair back into a bun.

Sans and you walked to a diner nearby your apartment complex that you had never visited before. It was busy for a Sunday, and when you walked in the smells of hashbrowns and pancakes hit you.  
You hadn't realized it before but you were starving. Everything smelt delicious, even Sans seemed a bit warmed by the sight.

Most of the booths were full, you two were lucky to find one at the very end of the diner. The whole restaurant reminded you of something out of the 1920's and you found yourself wondering if it had been here for that long.

Some people had sneered at Sans and you while you walked to your table. You felt awkward and nervous, wanting to apologize to the skeleton for every rude stare and comment people gave you two. Sans, however, seemed unaffected as you two sat down. You hoped he didn't have to face this often.

A waitress appeared and, thankfully, smiled at you two, asking if you'd like to drink anything while handing out menus. You ended up getting pancakes with orange juice, and Sans got an order of fries with another bottle of ketchup (much to the confusion of the waitress).

After she walked away, you took a deep breath. You didn't know why, but you felt nervous ordering something. But then again, when did you not feel nervous...

"so," Sans commented, breaking the silence between you two, "what did you think of everyone last night?"  
You smiled softly, "They were all really nice... It was nice seeing you again... Along with meeting Papyrus, Toriel, Frisk..."

"how do you and undyne know each other?"  
"Did she not tell you, Sansy?" you teased, much to the 'enjoyment' of the skeleton, "Undyne started working at my bookstore a few weeks ago... Alphys comes over every few days and they eat lunch together. They're a cute couple."  
Sans returned your smile, "hmm. it's really scaling along with those two."  
"I think it's nice," you chuckled, "The only relationship I've really seen before was my parents... And it's not like I really _enjoyed_ seeing that."

Sans chuckled, "no?"  
"No," you answered, laughing.

"It's been nice talking to you," you sighed, feeling awkward saying so.  
"i'm glad i had the guts to walk you home," Sans admitted, looking at the window.  
"You have no guts, bonehead," you teased, "...Thank you for that."

"no problem, kiddo. i'm just glad you don't seem as nervous as before."  
You felt your mood diminish a bit, hating when someone pointed that out, "I... Sorry."  
"don't be," Sans smiled wide, "it's nothing to be ashamed of. i'm real happy you're opening to all of us slowly."  
You tried to laugh, but it came out nervously, "I-I guess that's the way I've always been. A nervous bundle of awkwardness."  
"i don't think you are. i think you're fine," Sans's smile never diminished for a second as he looked at you.  
You laughed, "I feel like I always have to thank you."  
"you don't," Sans shook his head, "it's what friends are for, right?"

Before you could answer, the waitress brought by your food after a few moments. The food looked delicious and, between the both of you, everything was devoured almost immediately. That included two entire bottle of ketchup (Sans's fault) and a pitcher of orange juice (Your fault).

Your tummy felt filled up and took a deep breath, leaning into the booth comfortingly. You felt so giddy that Sans had thought of you as a friend that your appetite boosted hugely.

"That was good," you admitted, smiling wide and laughing softly, "You had a good idea about breakfast.  
Sans smiled, "french fries weren't too bad."

"You liked it."  
"like i said, wasn't too bad."  
"Then what's good to you?"  
"you."

"W-What do you m-mean?" You asked, your face red and blushing.  
He smirked, "nothin'."

"I-I," you stuttered, "Do you know if P-Papyrus is still with Undyne?"  
Sans looked at you, dumbfounded, "hmm?"  
You sighed, feeling embarrassed, "Y-you said that Papyrus was spending the morning with Undyne..."  
"oh, yeah," Sans remembered, pulling out his phone.

His face seemed to flatten for a second as he sighed, "paps's home right now, so i should probably get home soon too."  
"Oh," you frowned, "Well, do you w-want me to take you home?"  
"nah," He shook his head,

Sans and you got up and left the diner, ignoring the confused and angry glances you both received.

The air outside felt cool but refreshing. You felt like taking off your hoodie but you swiftly remembered you only had a tanktop on underneath.

"I-It was nice seeing you again," you fumbled with your words, feeling shy for some odd reason.  
"yeah, kiddo," Sans winked, "we should do it again sometime."  
You felt your face going red again, "Y-yeah!"  
Sans smiled wide, "see ya, _."

Sans turned away and started walking the opposite direction. You stood there stunned for a second as you watched the skeleton walk away.  
Weirdly enough, you felt a burst of courage hit you suddenly.

"Sans!" you yelled out.  
You were worried he didn't hear you at first, but then he turned around swiftly.

"I'm not a 'kiddo', Sansy!" you smiled widely, "I'm twenty-three!"

It was hard to see but you noticed a bright smile on Sans's face, brighter than any smile anyone had given you before. His bony hand turned into a thumbs up as you heard his chuckle.  
You giggled happily, not noticing that a few people were stare, as you watched Sans walk away slowly.

You weren't used to feeling like this.  
You weren't used to feeling calm around _people._  
You weren't used to feeling normal.

Slowly, you knew you these monsters were changing you for the better.  
And frankly, you wished they had come along sooner.


	10. Meeting Again

_The Sansmaster: what's up, kiddo?_  
 __: Sans? Why are you texting me at one a.m._  
 _The Sansmaster: alphys told me you have an astronomy book at your bookstore._  
 __: Can I ask a few questions? Number one, why are you two talking about this right now. And two, why do you need to know this right now._  
 _The Sansmaster: did i wake u up? sorry. this is important though. alphys and i were talking about science and i need to know if you have an astronomy book still. we were talking about it earlier, though._  
 __: You didn't... I have a copy or two left at the store. I can probably save one for you if you need it._  
 _The Sansmaster: thanks a skele-ton._  
 __: Does this mean I get to see you at my work?_  
 _The Sansmaster: it might._  
 __: Undyne isn't going to be pleased._  
 _The Sansmaster: i do get under her scales._  
 __: You should really get to bed._  
 _The Sansmaster: never. sleep is for the weak._  
 __: Knock knock._  
 _The Sansmaster: are you trying to seduce me at this time of night? shame on you, _._  
 __: Haha. Just answer my damn joke, bonehead._  
 _The Sansmaster: who's there?_  
 __: Hugo._  
 _The Sansmaster: hugo who?_  
 __: Hugo to bed now._  
 _The Sansmaster: ok, ok. see you tomorrow? the bookstore on crest street right_  
 __: That's the one._  
 _The Sansmaster: night._  
 __: Goodnight, Sansypants._  
 _  
_

* * *

"Okay, okay," Undyne huffed, "Let me get this straight."

You rolled your eyes at your friend, aimlessly putting price stickers on the haul of new books. The books were a wonderful array – full of science fiction, classics, nonfiction, young adult, children's books... It was a bookworm's dream. Owning a bookstore was the dream.

It was just that it felt more like a hassle sometimes.

"Sans," Undyne stared daggers at you, "Sans the skeleton, I might add, texted you around one in the morning asking about a goddamn science book?"  
You nodded, "Yep."  
"WHY?" Undyne shouted, making an echo go around the store.

You shrugged.

"I don't know."

You lifted your head from your work and were greeted to a judgemental look from Undyne. You stared back for a moment before you started giggling. Undyne rolled her eye back at you.

"That skeleton is one lazy-"  
"Lazybones?" You added, knowing Undyne and Papyrus's 'hatred' of awful puns.  
Undyne groaned loudly, "_, OH MY GOD. NOT YOU TOO!"

You smiled wider.

"UGH," Undyne slapped her forehead, "I hate Sans... And I hate you too."

Suddenly, you felt awful, praying you didn't upset her, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say anything wrong..."  
Undyne sighed, "You're such a dweeb. I'm just kidding with ya."  
You took a deep breath, wiping your palms on your jeans, "...'M sorry."

Undyne shook her head at you, frowning.

"While I," you started before she could say anything, "I don't really know why Sans is coming over, I'm pretty sure it's because of that astronomy book Alphys and you looked at a long time ago."  
Undyne lifted an eyebrow, "Huh?"  
"On your first day," you said, "Alphys and you looked through a book about astronomy and had commented that your friend Sans would've liked it. I guess Alphys must've told him about it."

"Wait, wait, wait." Undyne seemed genuiley confused, "We told Sans about that months ago."  
It was your turn to be surprised, "H-huh?"

Undyne took a moment before responding, "DUDE. OH MY GOD."  
You stared at her while she started laughing loudly, clutching her stomach, "What?"

"I can't believe Sans, out of all people..." She said inbetween laughs, "...Ah, screw it!"  
"Undyne?" you said quietly, extremely confused.

You watched the fish monster chuckle loudly as she bent over and clutched her stomach. Her laughs filled the entire room, and she even got to the point where she needed to take deep breaths to keep laughing. You stared at her with confusion for the entire time

"Have you guys hung outside of when we do?" Undyne recollected herself, smiling and wheezing mischeviously at you.  
You ran a hand through your hair, "I mean. We did once... Sans said he was walking home and he said was wondering if I had made it home okay... And, I um." You felt yourself a bit flush as Undyne stared at you with extreme interest, "He walked me home, and... I... It was, like, four in the morning so... So he just stayed the night at my apartment... A-And then we went to go get breakfast in the morning."

Undyne winked at you, raising her eyebrows curiously, and your felt your face flush even more. Her signature shit eating grin was plastered all over her face.

"U-Undyne!" You jumped up out your chair, looking at her intensely, "It wasn't like that, you pervert! He fell asleep on my couch and I fell asleep on my floor!"  
"Wait." She frowned, "The punk let you sleep on the floor?! I'M GOING TO RIP HIS GUTS OUT, JUST YOU WAIT."  
Your eyes widened, "Undyne, you're missing what I'm saying! And he doesn't even have guts he's a goddamn skeleton, you dork!"  
"NO HUMAN OF MINE WILL BE ALLOWED TO TOLERATE THIS MISTREATMENT," Undyne monolouged, pointing heroically at youl, and you feared she would create another spear. (She had an awful tendency of doing that!)

You shook your head wildly, trying to calm her down, "No, you're so silly! I didn't mean to fall asleep on the floor! By the time I did, Sans was asleep! I don't think he knows that happened anyways."  
Undyne looked at you dumbfounded before sighing, "One day, I'm gonna kick that skeleton's ass. It doesn't even matter what for. I just want to."  
You laughed awkwardly, relieved, "I don't think skeleton's have asses."

"So, _," Undyne was ignoring your jokes unsurprisingly, "Is that it?"  
"Is what it?"

"Have you guys hung out any other time?" Her shit eating grin reappeared.  
You felt confused all over again, "No? Why?"

"Do you guys text each other a lot?" Undyne was obviously hiding something, you just weren't sure of what. You decided, by the end of the day, you'd get whatever secret she had out of her.  
Even if it killed you. (Which her spears could probably easily do).

You didn't notice it, but Undyne's smile grew wider as she saw the pure determination you showed in your eyes. This was going to be exciting.

"Sometimes," you said confidently, "Not often, I guess. Maybe a little more often than I text you."  
"Sans, Sans." Undyne had laced sarcasm in her tone, "Such a ladies man, for sure."

"Why do you keep asking me these questions, you nerd?"  
"I NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING, UGHHHHHH."

"Well, just ask me."

"_, YOU ARE MY FRIEND BUT YOU ARE SUCH A PUNK!" Undyne slammed her fist into the counter, "Look. Do you like Sans? YES OR NO?"  
Your face went redder than a tomato, " _L-Like?_ Undyne? What? What do you mean by like? Oh my god, U-Undyne. I feel like I'm in eighth grade all over again..."  
"Do you have a _romantic feeling_ towards Papyrus's lazy brother, Sans?" Undyne laughed as she saw how red you were getting.  
"UNDYNE," You squeaked out, "I hardly know him! The first time I met him, I ended up spilling a bottle of freaking ketchup all over us. The second time, I slapped him so hard that it left a huge bruise on my palm!"

You showed Undyne the healing bruise on your palm, your hand sweaty and shaking.

"Damn!" Undyne looked at it, impressed, "You hit hard! That's AWESOME! Wait. Why did you hit Sans?"  
"I was scared, okay!" You felt anxiety come up like a rocket, hitting you hard, "I thought someone was behind me and that they were gonna, like, stab me or something."

You didn't dare look her in the eyes, but you were sure Undyne was staring at you with immense amusement.

"Why are you asking if I like Sans?" You blushed more, staring down at your pile of books and stickers.  
"BECAUSE, _, I THINK-"

But before she could finish what she was saying, the familiar chime of the door rung.

You turned to look at the customer and smiled widely. Your face was bright red like a school girl's and Undyne's hands were angrily gripping the counter edges.

"did i walk in on a bad time? i feel a little orcaward."

Undyne groaned loudly and you felt your face blush more (if that was even physically possible).

"SANS!" Undyne ran a hand through her hair, "Goddammit!"  
You looked at the fish monster and then to the skeleton, laughing awkwardly, "I think we've just avoided turtle diasaster."  
"_!" Undyne glared at you, "You aren't supposed to be incouraging the weird fish puns!"

"aww, undyne, i didn't think i was that big of a pain in the bass," Sans snickered, walking into the store comfortingly.

Undyne rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Are you still wanting that astronomy book?" you smiled, feeling your cheeks burn. You hoped Sans didn't notice the blush (he did).  
"gill-ty is charged," He smirked.

You went around the counter and showed Sans to where the books were headed. Undyne was heard groaning loudly as you two shared more fish puns.

You found the astronomy book and placed it into Sans's hands. He smiled widely at you as he went to go look through the pages.  
It felt like deja vu, but definitely not in any bad way.

His face turned wide with excitement and you had to stop yourself from giggling like an idiot. If you could introduce someone to a book that they were this excited about every day, you wouldn't even really care about money any more.

Sans stopped for a second flipping through the pages and turned to smile brightly at you, "there's no comet about how awesome this book is."  
You smiled at him, "I'm glad you liked it."

You heard Undyne groan loudly again, "GET A ROOM YOU TWO."

Sans's face had a blue hue to it again (if you ever got the courage, you'd have to ask what it meant) and you felt your face heat up again.  
Undyne turned to look at you both and snorted.

You two went up to the register and let Sans buy his book. He look enthusiatic about it and you couldn't help from smiling wide at him, much to the dismay of Undyne.

Packing up Sans book, Undyne finally shook her head and spoke: "Sans."  
Sans looked towards the fish monster, "yep?"  
"Outside. Now."

Sans looked at her with extreme curiosity as Undyne pulled on his jacket sleeve and pulled both of them outside the store.  
You stared at them and blinked a few times.

"We'll be back, punk! I need to ask Sansy here a few questions!" Undyne said as she slammed the door behind her.

 _What._

 _What the hell just happened?_

You took a few moments to assess and figure out why Undyne was acting a little, well, odd that day. It wasn't like of her to really... Well, actually, nevermind. She's kind of always been like this. It was just that Undyne was acting a bit more extreme(?).

A few minutes passed and you figured that they might take a while.

You put on some music quietly and started putting stickers back on your new books.

 **(a/n: hey guys! sorry this one's a bit shorter, but... you'll understand why later.**

 **and also, hey, i'm getting a beta reader! it might mean chapters take a little longer to post, but only by a day or two at most. honestly though, i feel overwhelmed with all of this positive feedback i've been given. thank each and every one of you to the bottom of my heart.**

 **if you guys would like to talk to me or have fanart for this fic, please send it to me at icyleaves on tumblr.**

 **and please leave a comment telling me what you think of this fic so far! i hope i've been doing a good job :* )**


	11. Collapse

What was going on? They hadn't came back in a long time.

You were sure it had been at least an hour. (Was it an hour?) You felt yourself wishing you knew what time they had left, but... At the very least, you were sure that it was taking longer than you had expected.

Although you knew better than to think of the worst, you found yourself panicking if they got hurt or if something bad had assured yourself that nothing problematic would happen, but on second thought...

Undyne had said that she wanted to get in a fight with Sans earlier too...

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. You knew everything would be fine and you were just going to the worst case scenario like you always did. Still, nothing you did made you stop worrying.

Feeling childish, you decided that if they didn't come back in, say, ten minutes or so you'd go check up on them.

They're fine! They're fine. You know that. Just. Stop. Worrying.

The music playing was bittersweet sounding. It sounded like something you'd listen to late at night.

The lyrics were sad and the tempo was slow. It wasn't a good song to listen to, considering how you felt right now.

You shook your head and sighed. Although you knew it wasn't a great idea to keep it on, you didn't change it.

Besides, the music was quiet. If you focused on your work you wouldn't notice it anymore.

Suddenly, the bell rung.

You smiled widely, ecstatic that the monsters had came back.

Until they didn't.

It was a group of teenagers. They looked like they were seniors in high school or freshmen in college. They were talking loudly and stomped into the room.

You felt disheartened that Sans and Undyne weren't here, but you tried to give the customers a warm smile.

"H-Hello!" you said nervously, watching as the group piled in your store, "W-Welcome! Is there anything you're looking for?"

There was only about four kids, the batch consisting of three boys and a girl. They looked like troublemakers.

Considering your situation right now, the only thing you could do was instinctively gulped.

"Hey," the oldest one said to you, staring at you intensely, "We aren't looking for anything in particular."

"Hey," The girl huffed, "I wanted to come here for something!"

He rolled his eyes.

"So," she smiled fakely at you, "do you have any erotica?"

"E-erotica?" you felt your face flush, "I... I don't think so; no."

She frowned, "I thought this was a bookstore . Aren't you supposed to have books for everyone?"

"We might..." You felt embarrassed, "I can go look for some."

"Thanks, hun," she teased.

You went to go look for the inappropriate book she had asked for, feeling defeated. Mom and dad never really carried (or told you) that they had erotica. Out of everything, that girl had to have that.

You weren't even sure where to look. The romance section? It wasn't like you had an adults only shelf.

The teenagers sure as hell made themselves comfortable. You watched them with anxiousness as they yelled at each other and said things you, a twenty-three year old, didn't feel comfortable even thinking about.

You wiped your palms on your pants again.

You just wanted them out of your store – Damn. Why didn't you just carry something that simple?

But it wasn't that simple. Nothing ever was.

You took a deep breath and went to go walk back to the counter.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly as the girl eyed you suspiciously, "I don't think we have any. I can order a book or two if you'd like. You would have to come back in a week or two."

She glared daggers, "Ugh, dammit! I thought out of every goddamn place this old ass store would have what I wanted."

"I'm sorry," you all but whispered, "Like I said, I can order some. How old are you?"

She gaped at you.

"I need... I-I need to know how old you are," you sighed, "I'm not legally allowed to sell erotica to people under eighteen."

She turned to her friends and took a dramatic breath, "Why do people have to be such losers? Goddammit!"

Ah, yes. The future generation.

And you had found yourself wondering why you spent more time with monsters than people. At least they had the decency to be civilized.

Hell, you two were the same species and she was still being rude.

"I'm really, really sorry," You tried to comfort her (why?), "Can I help you find anything else?"

"Your number?" another one of the teenagers winked at you.

You tried to play it off awkwardly, "Don't you th-think I'm too old for you?"

"Yes," the girl interrupted her friend and turned back to glare at you, "I need you to be a good bookstore worker and get your boss."

"My boss?" you blinked.

And before you knew it, books went flying far and wide. A teenager was leaning on one of the bookshelves in the middle had apparently tipped it everywhere. These were some of your bestsellers nicely shelved – now on the ground that you hadn't cleaned in at least a month or two. It took you hours to shelf them in a way you were happy with too.

You stared at it, feeling helpless.

"Sorry," the bookshelf tipper said shyly to you.

Although you hated feeling this way, you felt tears start to well up in your eyes. You pinched your leg to try to get rid of the feeling. Your breathing was irregular and rapid.

Calm down, you told yourself, Just ask them to leave. It'll be okay.

But it wasn't and you didn't.

You stared at them. You tried to say something but you felt your throat close up. The cluster of teenagers stared at the mess awkwardly with you, but no one offered to clean it up.

Instead, you were greeted with screams once the yelling had passed.

"Jonathan !" The girl hissed loudly, "You're such an asshole! I can't believe you right now!"

The teen named Jonathan yelled right back at her. "I'm an asshole? These shelves are ancient! It was a matter of time before they fell over or broke! Besides, it was your idea we come to this stupid bookstore!"

Soon, the store filled up with their obnoxious screams and you felt yourself wishing you could just disappear and never come back ever.

* * *

"Sans? Are you even listening to me?"

"wait" The skeleton said as he promptly held up a finger, "do you hear that?"

The two monsters stood outside, not too far away from your store. Muffled screams were heard in the distance. They looked at each other for a moment, examining each other's faces.

"Sans."

"undyne."

Nothing more was needed, they both broke out into a run back to your bookstore.

The shouts got louder as they headed towards you.

Sans was frantic as he basically threw the door open, leaving a dent in the wall. The group of teenagers turned to look at the new guests but resumed their fighting.

Sans turned to look for you, finding you behind the counter, pale as a ghost, and holding your face in your hands. You were uncontrollably shaking.

A strange feeling welled up inside him and he found himself simultaneously worried about you but also extremely pissed off at the people who made you feel like this.

You were a nervous, timid human. He hadn't seen or met anyone quite like you before, but not in a bad way. He enjoyed spending the time he had with you and getting to know you. He knew you were shy and anxious, that was easy to tell, and he felt proud of himself knowing that he was able to get you out of your shell.

But this was different. You weren't shy, you weren't even reacting at all. You stood there maniacally quivering behind the counter. Sans started to wonder if you were crying because **,** if you were **,** he would-

Sans opened his mouth to say something, but Undyne quickly beat him to it.

"HEY PUNKS," Undyne sounded pissed.

They shut up and turned to look at her.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

They didn't say anything, they stared at both of the monsters with equal parts curiosity and fear.

"SOMEONE ANSWER ME!" Undyne clenched her fist, staring down at the human punks. Sans felt himself worry that she would start manifesting spears. If she did, then they would have something to really worry about.

"LOOK," a girl said, looking smug and ill-mannered, "We aren't looking for trouble, especially from some monsters . I wanted a book and she didn't have it, okay?"

"_?" Sans said, staring at you intensely, "you ok?"

You didn't reply, making the short skeleton's anger rise up tenfold.

"kids," He said, his eyes going dark, "i'd suggest you leave."

" **.** "

Undyne manifested a spear and held it at them, "Leave. Now."

It was easy to tell that they had scared the kids out of their wits, as they all almost simultaneously ran out of the store trembling with fear. Hopefully never to be seen again.

"_," Undyne looked at you worriedly, closing the door behind her, "What the hell happened?"

Sans looked around the room and noticed that they had tipped over a bookshelf. Books were scattered all across the store but the shelf itself was unscathed.

"_?"

They both watched with alarm as you dropped to the floor.

"_?!"

Undyne almost immediately went to your side, hugging you intensely. Sans walked up feeling awkward and feeling disturbed by the sudden outbreak which just happened, but he wanted to be there for you nonetheless.

"I... I'm okay," You whispered as Undyne let you go, "Thanks for making them go..."

"kiddo," Sans took a big breath of relief, "you scared me."

You smiled at him weakly, "I'm really bad at telling people to go..."

"You're telling me!" Undyne hit you on the shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, "Damn it... Humans are awful sometimes. What happened?"

You nodded your head, "That girl wanted, uh... E-erotica, I guess," your cheeks turning a shade of red, "I don't... I-I don't carry it here. She wasn't very happy with that and then her friend tipped over t-the bookshelf."

Sans watched as you wiped your hands on your pants, wondering why you did that so often.

"how old was she?" Sans frowned.

"I'm not sure... When I asked for her age she just ignored me..." you sighed.

Sans turned to look at the trashed store and shook his head, "guess they really trashed the place, huh..."

You sighed again, "It's not a big deal."

Undyne gaped at you, unable to ponder what you just said, "How are you such a punk? This place is as messy as Sans's room."

Sans raised an eyebone, "you've been in my room?"

Undyne stared at him, unamused, "No, and I wouldn't want to either. Papyrus says you've never vacuumed in there before too."

Sans smiled, "i have. it's a vacuum to an entire world in there."

"SANS!"

"aw, undyne," Sans chuckled, "i'm not even squidding."

"Papyrus," Undyne shook her head, standing up, "That poor skeleton has to live with you, dammit."

No one was expecting it, but your voice chimed in, "Sans. I don't think she likes it. I think you're krilling it out here."

Sans was surprised at first, but his smile widened significantly, "don't be so koi, undyne."

"I hate you two!" Undyne stomped her foot.

You slowly stood back up and took a deep breath. Sans hated to admit it, but he was really glad you seemed to be feeling better.

Seeing you that upset...

It was awful.

"Undyne," you smiled, your laugh sounding sweet, "The atmosphere is so trench here."

Undyne glared at Sans, staring him down, "This is all your fault, Sans!"

"what can i say?" Sans said smugly, "this is dolphinitely all my fault."

You chuckled softly, but it was easy to tell something was bothering you. You stared at your trashed store and sighed deeply. It was going to be a pain to start cleaning it up.

"You guys can go ahead and eat lunch if you'd like," you had a fake smile plastered on your face, "I think it's about that time... I, um, I'm gonna clean up here real quick."

Undyne gawked at you, "_. This place is trashed. Let's hurry and clean this up first, okay?"

You stared at her, "I-I couldn't ask either of you to do that."

"I'm your employee, you nerd," Undyne laughed, "You pay me to do this shit. Let's hurry and get it over with so we can eat lunch and GOSSIP LIKE NORMAL YOUNG LADIES."

You smiled widely, "Undyne, I-"

"AND SANS WILL HELP," Undyne turned to stare at him expectantly, "RIGHT, SANS?"

Sans gulped.

He smiled and nodded shyly, "just trout me here, i'm the worst at cleaning."

You laughed again, not noticing Sans's ever-growing smile, "You've been to my house before. I think I may win at that contest."

Undyne groaned dramatically, "Punks! Shut up!"

She went to go lift up the bookshelf back into its original place with ease.

You exchanged a look with Sans, both of you smiling wide.

maybe not all humans are awful, Sans thought as he looked at you happily, a few bad eggs don't make the whole carton spoiled.

 **(a/n: i think there is too many things falling down in this fic...**

 **but hey!**  
 **this the first chapter me and my lovely beta have worked on together! i personally think it sounds a lot better than some of my other chapters do! i hope you've enjoyed and please leave a comment down below. ❤️)**


	12. Avoiding Thoughts

Sundays were always the same.

You never had anything planned for Sundays.

You tried filling up your day by doing chores around the house. At least you could say that you could finally see your floor again. And you finally had something clean to wear. The only problem you had was that you were able to finish your chores already, and it was only in the early afternoon.

Sundays were a great day for thinking.

But that was the problem.

You didn't want to think.

In fact, you'd rather avoid it like the plague.

Grocery shopping might've been a great idea, but you could hardly find the inspiration to do so.

You had coffee to keep you going anyways. (Isn't that all you need?)

Maybe you should put on a movie... No. Nothing sounded even remotely interesting to you today. Not even reading.

You knew something was wrong, but you could hardly be bothered to look into it.

You just wanted to sleep.

But if you slept you'd waste the entire day and something bad could happen to dad just like-

Take deep breaths, you tried to calm yourself, You're okay. It's okay. Nothing bad is going to happen.

Dad is fine. I'm fine.

You ran a hand through your hair and took a deep breath. Maybe you could just call Undyne, or maybe even Sans, you-

You just couldn't muster up the courage.

Undyne was probably tired of you, considering that she saw you almost everyday. And Sans, well... You'd probably caused him enough trouble in the past week.

Had it only been a week or so since you'd met him? It felt like longer. You had only hired Undyne a little less than two months ago too. Time felt like it passed so much faster than it had for years.

You felt comfortable enough to call both of them friends. (You felt a little silly thinking that; who needed to reassure themselves that someone was their friend?) Even though it had only been that short of a time, you felt like Undyne was one of the closest friends you had. However, you couldn't help but worry that you were pushing your luck sometimes.

Especially since they had all helped you clean up your books yesterday.

After the group of obnoxious teenagers left, Undyne helped you put the bookshelf back in place and all three of you worked on putting the books back in their places. A few got a bit bent in places, but no major damage happened to any of them (Much to your extreme relief). You found out it was a lot easier putting away the books with other people rather than yourself.

A job that originally took hours only took less than thirty minutes with two extra people.

You had thanked them to the point where you were sure you sounded like a broken record. Undyne got a little angry with you too, exclaiming that you didn't need to apologize because this was exactly what you paid her for. Sans just smiled at you brightly and made silly puns as you put away books.

Afterwards, Sans had to go back home to Papyrus. Undyne and you talked and ate lunch with Alphys later on.

That had been Friday.

You tried to not think about what had happened since then. But now, you were alone and left to all of your thoughts. Your terrible, awful thoughts.

Had you been a professional and capable adult, those kids wouldn't have acted like they did. You were an owner of a goddamn bookstore, you needed to stick up for yourself.

You needed to be better, to be stronger, to be okay.

You knew you weren't okay.

You knew that you might never be okay.

I need to get out of this god forsaken house, you thought as you got up off of your bed, This isn't doing anything good for me.

Unsure of what to do, you didn't bother changing out of your dirty t-shirt and instead just threw on a jacket and a pair of jeans. And, like always, you threw your hair up into a ponytail. You could figure out where you were going to later – outside of this damned apartment.

"Hey, _," a neighbor, Will, said to you as you walked out of your room, "Where you heading to?"

You smiled nervously, "Hey, Will. I-I'm just trying to get out of the house."

He laughed at you softly, seemingly happy with your answer, "Good choice, miss. I'd do the same but Emily wants me to stay inside with her today."

Emily was his fiance. Although you typically tried to avoid your neighbors (and they avoided you back), Will and Emily had always been there to ask how you were doing or if you wanted a slice of leftover cake.

As much as you hated being social, you found yourself not minding their company so much. Even if it did, like everything else, make you nervous.

"Tell her I said hi," you said softly, "It's good to see you today. I've got to get going, but have a nice day."

Will waved to you as you walked away, "Nice to see you too, _! See you later!"

You thought about heading to a restaurant, or even some fast-food chain, but you weren't even hungry. You knew that you hadn't eaten since yesterday, but you just couldn't find yourself to even try to want food.

Coffee, perhaps?

Coffee was always a good idea.

You laughed to yourself quietly. You already had at least a pot already! Coffee addiction just ran in your family. Just ask dad. Mom had loved it at least as much as him,

if not more.

At the very least, you could grab a muffin and snack on that.

A coffee shop was only a block away from your apartment, hallelujah. As much as you loved instant, burnt coffee – there was magic only a cute barista and an expensive coffee machine could do.

You opened up the door to the shop and was welcomed to the smells of coffee (oh damn, if you weren't obsessed...) and pastries. It smelt heavenly. Honestly, you felt like you could've died that moment and you would've been pleased.

It was empty except for a few other people. Just like you wanted it. Sundays, although excessively boring, were really the best days to go to a coffee shop. Or just to get out of the house.

"HUMAN?!" A familiar voice interrupted your thoughts.

You looked towards the counter and tried to hide a wide smile. A tall skeleton stood there in a black apron, holding a muffin in his hand. His eyesockets were wide and he looked at you with surprise.

"Papyrus?" you smiled warmly, walking up to the counter, "Hey, how's it going?"

"OH, HUMAN," Papyrus seemed happy to see you, "IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. I WAS WONDERING WHEN WE SHOULD PLAN OUR COOKING LESSON TOGETHER."

"I'm okay with whenever you can," you paused, "I just can't do it on weekdays."

Papyrus frowned, "THE GREAT PAPYRUS WORKS HERE EVERY OTHER DAY, SO I CAN DO THE TEXTING THING AND TELL YOU WHEN I CAN!" His enthusiastic voice booming through the shop.

You laughed softly, "I'm really excited for it, so don't keep me waiting."

What was with you and feeling so comfortable around monsters? You found yourself wondering more often, it felt depressing you felt so much happier around people who weren't even your own species.

"OH, _," Papyrus seemed to focus, putting the muffin down on the counter, "I AM SUPPOSED TO ASK WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO ORDER. WHATEVER IT IS, I'M SURE IT WILL BE VERY GREAT. I'LL MAKE IT EXTRA GREAT FOR YOU TODAY TOO, BECAUSE I'D LIKE TO FURTHER OUR FRIENDSHIP."

You felt your cheeks burn, "Th-thanks, Papryus. I'd... I'd like to be better friends too."

"WOWIE!" Papyrus put his hands to his cheeks, "I'M SO TOUCHED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT."

You smiled, "I'm glad you want to be friends too."

Papyrus asked what you'd like, and you ordered a simple mocha and (to Papyrus's recommendation) a cinnamon-apple muffin.

You sat down at a table in the middle and waited for Papyrus to finish with your coffee. You were both excited, and admittedly scared, to try what Papyrus's coffee tasted like. Undyne had told you the horror stories about when Papyrus first started cooking, so...

"_," Papyrus's voice brought you out of your thoughts once again, "MY BOSS LET ME TAKE A BREAK TO TALK WITH YOU. ALTHOUGH... IF I TAKE A BREAK, I DON'T WANT TO END UP A LAZYBONES LIKE SANS IS. BUT! IF IT IS ONLY FOR A MINUTE TO TALK TO MY WONDERFUL HUMAN, THEN I'M SURE THAT IT'LL BE OKAY!"

You smiled as he put down a mug of coffee and a muffin in front of you, "I'm very lucky to have made such great friends like all of you guys..."

Papyrus smiled brightly as he sat down on the chair across from you, "HUMAN, YOU FLATTER US SO. ALTHOUGH WE HAVEN'T KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LONG, I AM POSITIVE WE CAN BECOME BESTIES IN NO TIME! FRISK AND CLONE ASGORE ALREADY LIKE YOU SO MUCH TOO!"

You raised an eyebrow, "C-clone Asgore?"

"TORIEL," Papryus answered, "SHE MADE THAT PUMPKIN CASSEROLE YOU MADE. IT WASN'T NEARLY AS GREAT AS MY SPAGHETTI, BUT I BELIEVE BOTH OF YOU HAVE GREAT POTENTIAL!"

You took a sip of your coffee.

"P-Papryus!" you said, "How did you make this? It's really delicious!"

Papyrus beamed, "IT IS? I MEAN, IT IS! YES. I ADDED A BIT OF CARMEL AND BUTTERSCOTCH TO YOUR COFFEE. IT IS HOW SANS MAKES HIS COFFEE, MINUS THE HOT CHOCOLATE."

"Do you drink coffee?" You asked curiously.

"NO, I DRINK MILK TO KEEP MY BONES STRONG," Papryus flexed his bones for emphasis.

You handed your cup out to him shyly, "I-I think you'd really like this! I mean, if you like sweet things..."

Papyrus looked touched by your action as he grabbed the cup out of your hands and took a small sip.

"NYEH HEH HEH HEH," Papyrus chuckled loudly, handing the cup back to you, "THAT IS A GOOD CUP OF COFFEE. YOU SHOULD REALLY TRY THE MUFFIN TOO! I THINK THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAKE THIS BETTER WOULD BE A PLATE OF SPAGHETTI!"

You took a bite out of the muffin to make him smile more, and it worked wonderfully.

You listened to Papyrus ramble on about spaghetti, Sans's laziness, and Mettaton's movies as you sipped your coffee slowly. His voice, although a bit loud, was pleasant to listen to. You enjoyed being in his, and really monsters in general, company. You felt at ease when you were around them.

Eventually you finished your coffee and muffin, and Papyrus had to get back to work. You didn't want to leave, but you figured that it would be a good idea if you did.

"_," Papyrus said as you started to leave, "I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR COOKING LESSON!"

You smiled brightly, "Me too! Have a great day, Papyrus!"

Before you headed back to home, you stopped at the grocery store and bought some butterscotch and carmel. You also bought some actual food (not just frozen food) and vegetables, but none of that was as important as your coffee.

You threw your groceries into the small fridge the minute you got home. Walking everywhere, while somewhat fun, had the tendency to make frozen items thaw.

You kicked off your shoes and fell down onto the couch. Seeing Papyrus had made your day almost a million times better than it had been, and you had wasted at least four hours out of the house. It was almost nine soon, at least you'd have a decent reason to go to bed soon.

You threw on one of Mettaton's movies that Papyrus had talked about earlier that day. It was a story about him falling in love with a human even though it was forbidden by the king. It was over-the-top, dramatic, and lovely. It was something that described the way Mettaton acted and the way his friends described him.

(You'd never admit it, but you kind of wished you could meet Mettaton one day. You had always been a fan of his shoes since the barrier was broken.)

You noticed that you had left your phone on the counter for most of the day. You hadn't even realized that you had forgotten it when you left.

Grabbing it, you saw that you had received a few texts from Sans earlier. You felt bad seeing that they had been sent a while ago.

The Sansmaster: hey kiddo, i hope you don't mind but i wanted to try out a few jokes. i think you'll like 'em

The Sansmaster: if you were words on a page, you'd be fine print

The Sansmaster: when i see you, my temperature rises way past fahrenheit 451

The Sansmaster: i hope i'm not being too bold here


	13. Midnight Stroll

By the time you knew it, another day had passed. Then a day turned into a week. Then a week turned into a month.

Nothing too eventful had happened, Undyne and you kept working at your bookstore. Weekends were still the same too, you spent it at home. Sometimes the group of monsters invited you over – which, admittedly, was so much better than doing menial chores around the house.

Papyrus had planned for your 'cooking' lesson that weekend, although you were quite sure that you would just watch him cook spaghetti. (Not that you minded, from what you've seen, cooking was Papyrus's element). Sans and you texted a lot too, but you didn't really meet outside of hanging out with the others.

You'd admit that you were a bit sad you didn't see Sans more often.

You were still curious about what Undyne and him had talked about that one day, but you decided that it might be better not to pry. After all, they did leave, it was most likely something personal.

Besides, the last thing you wanted to do was to make either of them uncomfortable. You weren't sure how any of the monsters truly thought of you as a friend; you didn't want to upset them by saying something stupid.

You looked out your window and took a deep breath. The night sky was faded by the bright city lights and the pollution in the air. It wasn't awful, but you much preferred the days you could see the stars. You wondered if Sans like the stars too... Well, of course he did, he wouldn't have bought an astronomy book elsewise.

It was late at night, but you didn't feel tired enough to try to sleep. You knew you had work tomorrow and you'd be exhausted, but yet... You didn't know why but you just didn't want to go to bed yet.

You were excited for tomorrow, perhaps? You had ordered a new haul of books which Undyne and Alphys helped you pick out. You even picked out a pasta cookbook for Papyrus, although you were just going to give it to him when you went over that weekend.

Papyrus and you talked a lot, which was really nice. After finding out where he worked, you visited that coffeeshop a lot more often. Papyrus was down-to-earth and just easy to talk to. If he didn't enjoy your company, you were almost positive that you would've known.

He kept saying he wanted to cook you 'friendship spaghetti' and that all of his friends and you would become great friends together if he did so. He even said he'd try to get his 'lazybones brother' to help you two cook.

You hoped his spaghetti would work. You really liked everyone.

Which was honestly so rare for you to say because before you met Undyne you had practically given up on humanity.

Well. You guessed you kind of had, Dad was really the only person you talked to on a somewhat regular basis.

Even though you weren't tired, that didn't keep you from being bored.

You thought about doing something outside of your apartment, but it was too late for anything to really be open. And, even though you didn't want to admit it, the city wasn't safe at night.

But then again, when do you really care about safety?

You threw the blankets off of you, they landed on the floor is a messy heap.

You were wearing clothes that could pass as being wearable in public, so you didn't change out of anything. You put on an old, worn-out pair of converse and a jacket, and out you went.

* * *

Being in the city this late always made you feel a bit nervous. It was better than any other time of day though, you weren't expected to make idle chit chat or smile at random people.

You weren't sure what made you want to go out this late. Then again, you weren't really sure of anything you ever did. Maybe it seemed like a good idea?

Oh well.

You didn't feel remotely tired, even though it was almost in the A.M. You walked around for a few blocks before coming across a CD store.

Honestly, you were surprised anything was open this late.

Walking in, the store was bigger than you originally expected. It seemed to have different genres on different shelves, and different types of instruments were strung along the walls.

Electric and acoustic guitars were in an array of different designs and colors. For some reason, you were drawn to an electric guitar that was black and had pastel ribbons doodled all over it. It was a little girly, sure, but you found yourself falling in love with the different designs on it.

You took a picture with your phone. If you ever learned to play guitar (although unlikely), you'd liked to get this one.

You walked across the store after you were finished admiring the guitars. Looking at clarinets, flutes, saxophones... Another instrument caught your eye, this time it was a trombone. You stifled a small laugh to yourself and sent a picture of it to Sans.

Why?

Who knows.

After you had looked at almost all of the instruments, you went ahead and looked at the different types of Cds they had. There was a lot of variety, that's for sure. They had instrumental and anxiety calming music in one section ranging to screamo and death metal in another.

You eventually found your favorite band in the sections. They had almost all of their albums, too! You wanted to buy almost all of them immediately, but you sadly didn't have enough money at that moment. You'd try to remember this store and come again later.

That didn't keep you from spoiling yourself a little bit. You grabbed your favorite album with glee.

You hummed one of their songs as you kept looking through the shelves. You didn't see anyone else, but you still kept to yourself.

You'd admit that you loved your city. It would be odd for you to be anywhere else but there. You guessed growing up somewhere made you feel somewhat attached.

It was subtle, but you noticed someone else was humming as well. You looked around you, confused. You were almost sure that someone might've been mocking you. Oh god, you hoped that your stupid humming was too off-key.

As you listened to the humming, you realized it was the same song you were just barely singing. And you felt like it was almost ten times better.

You looked around again and found the culprit of the nice humming. It was another monster that was copying(?) you.

She was beautiful, in an odd way. She reminded you of an angler fish – yet a lot cuter, of course.

Her humming sounded wonderful. It was enchanting like a siren's melody. You found yourself almost hypnotized by it.

As soon as it started, she had realized you were listening and almost shut up immediately. You thought that she might've been shy, and even though you were as well, you hummed timidly in hopes that she would as well.

The monster watched you with increased curiosity as you hummed a childhood song. Her face grew a small smile.

You two hummed together for a moment, not talking but listening to each other's quaint sounds.

She seemed to slowly grow in confidence, and before you knew it, she took over the song. Her beautiful melodies filled up the entire store and even the employees looked happy to hear it.

The monster's song slowly went to a proper end and you quietly applauded her. She smiled widely at you. You thought she might've been just as shy as you are, so you didn't feel offended when she waved at you and walked away.

No words were needed, just small little hums.

You wished more of your daily interactions could've been like that.

You went up to the register and paid for your CD. The cashier whispered to you that they thought the monster's singing was good too, and they thanked you for helping her get out of her shell.

It was silly, but you felt a weird sense of pride as you walked out of the store.

* * *

The night's air was more cold than you had remembered it. You wondered how long you had lounged around in the music store for. Certainly longer than you had expected.

Although it was freezing and you were wishing that you had brought a thicker jacket, you weren't ready to go home yet. Dad probably would've lectured you about getting a cold or that you needed to be more safe.

Mom would've laughed at you and asked you to get her something from a certain store.

God. You missed her.

You knew thinking like that would've just lead to worsening thoughts, you shoved everything to the back of your mind as you kept walking forward.

Maybe you should get something to eat. It wasn't like you ate dinner that night anyways.

If anything looked good, you'd stop by there.

As you kept moving forward, you felt your phone buzz. Sans had messaged you back about your trombone picture you sent him.

 _The Sansmaster: how'd you know my favorite instrument was the trom-bone_

 __: I had a gut feeling._

You smiled, laughing softly to yourself.

Sans was a really nice friend, although you'd never tell him that. You had a reputation to keep up with him. Puns don't make themselves!

Well. They did, but that was besides the point.

You remembered that Sans and Papyrus shared a house, feeling stupid when you did so. Of course they shared a house! They were brothers, and it wasn't like Sans or Papyrus was going to let the other out of their sight anytime soon.

You actually thought it was really nice. Papyrus pretended to hate Sans's jokes and puns, but you always noticed a small smile on his face when Sans wasn't looking.

Frisk and Toriel, too, joined in all of your jokes. It one time got so much for poor Papyrus that he actually jumped out of Undyne's window.

You freaked out at first, naturally, especially considering how calm everyone seemed. Apparently that wasn't even the second time Papyrus had broken Undyne's window that way.

He came back after a few minutes, but refused to talk to any of you besides Undyne and Alphys for an hour. (Excluding Alphys once she made a silly pun about technology.)

Before you knew it, you smelt the faint aroma of greasy french fries and burgers. It was odd, honestly. You found yourself thinking, for the second time that night, why anything was open that late.

You were sure it was at least two in the morning, for goodness sake.

You walked up to the door and looked up at the sign of the restaurant. The letters were in flashing orange or yellow colors.

 _'GRILLBY'S.'_

The name sounded oddly familiar before it hit you like a brick.

Sans had mentioned that name once, saying that it was something he missed back from the Underground. Was this a monster owned restaurant? You hadn't seen anything like that before. It was quite a bit sad, though, because monsters really deserved a lot more than they had been given up on the Surface.

Sometimes you wished humans were Underground. Maybe then your species could learn how to be civil.

You felt your tummy rumbling and decided that maybe you should see what's inside these doors. It was likely going to be better than the mediocre pizza joint that was across the street.

The door chimed softly as you opened it, and the first thing you noticed was that the restaurant was almost completely empty. It wasn't that surprising to you, of course, considering the time it was.

The second thing you figured out was how ungodly hot it was inside.

The only two people inside were at the bar area. The bartender(?) was hot. No, really, he was actually on fire. He _was_ fire.

God, that was an awful pun and you knew it.

He had a pair of glasses on his... Face? He wore a nice, classy outfit with a silly little bowtie.

He was listening intensely to the person sitting at the bar, cleaning a glass cup with a rag.

You felt your heart drop to your stomach as your focus turned to the other monster.

"grillbz," a familiar voice said humorously, "you don't understand. she's one of the nicest people i've ever met."

" _Sans_ ," the fire elemental groaned quietly, "I do understand. I don't understand why you've repeated this story five times, however. I get what you're saying."

Suddenly, you noticed his eyes to go from Sans to you.

You felt yourself sweat.

"Welcome," he said in a calm, collected tone.

Sans turned around and the lights in his eyes seemed to widen, "_-_?"

You laughed really awkwardly, absolutely unsure of what to do or say, "Uh, h-hello!" You waved shyly.

The fire elemental seemed to raise an eyebrow (an eyeflame? What is with all of these different monsters' eyebrows?), "I take it you know her."

Sans smiled brightly at you, but he seemed a little nervous, "hey kiddo."

You walked over to the two, your legs feeling like jello, "I-I, um. I was walking around and I remembered you had talked to me about this place once, and I-"

Sans chuckled, "what are you doing up so late?"

"Couldn't sleep..." you admitted shyly.

"well here, come sit down," Sans patted the seat next to him timidly, "this is grillby. he owns the restaurant here and the one we used to have in Snowdin."

You sat down on the seat and opened your mouth to say something.

 _Pfffftttttt..._

The noise echoed throughout the room.

Your face immediately turned red.

"you wanna watch out for that," It was easy to tell that Sans was trying to fight laughing, "some weirdos put whoopee cushions on the seats."

You frowned, "I can't believe you did that!"

Sans finally let himself laugh, "did what?"

"Don't play innocent!"

"i told you, some weirdos did it. i'm not weird."

"You're very weird."

Grillby looked at you, looking almost apologetic for the skeleton's behavior, "Ma'am... I believe it's _, correct?"

You smiled shyly and nodded.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Grillby handed you a menu.

You looked over it, "I'd just like an order of fries and some water, if that's okay."

Grillby nodded and walked away to the kitchen(?), leaving you and Sans alone for a moment.

"it's crazy to see you here," Sans said after a moment.

You looked at the array of different alcohols Grillby had behind the counter, "I hope you don't feel like I'm creepy... I remember you talking about this place, so it was a little surprising to see it here. Even more surprising to see you here."

"grillbz's just been able to have this place open for a week or two," Sans seemed happy, "i've been coming here almost everyday since."

"Do you work here?"

"nah," Sans chuckled, "it's too hot."

You shook your head and laughed, "Only you would say that."

"is it hot in here or is just you?" Sans said, trying to tease you.

"I would say it's you, but..." You trailed off for dramatic effect, "You're all skin and bones... Minus the skin."

Sans chuckled again, this time with more humor added to it, "you think you're real humorous, don't you?"

You nodded, "I'd try to say another pun, but I'm honestly so bad at coming up with them."

Sans looked at you for a moment before bursting out laughing, "kiddo, you're gonna kill me one of these days."

You looked at him in shock, "That's the last thing I'd ever want, Sans! I hope you're kidding..."

He seemed surprised by your reaction, "i am. 'm sorry if i had said anything sensitive."

You shook your head, "It's okay. Don't worry about it." You smiled as if to reassure the small skeleton.

Grillby came back with your fries and two bottles of ketchup. You were sure that one of them was for Sans.

And sure as the sky is blue, Sans immediately grabbed it and chugged. Sans still tried to shock you, but you had weirdly gotten use to the sight.

Sans put the bottle back down with a happy sigh.

You stifled a laugh as you picked at your fries haphazardly.

Sans and you talked for what seemed like hours, almost. You hoped it hadn't been that long, considering that you needed to get to the bookstore in five hours last time you checked. But it was nice. You found yourself wondering why you didn't ask Sans to hang out with you more often.

"I think Papyrus is going to teach me how to cook," you smiled, finishing your last fry.

"paps is?" Sans raised an eyebone, "good luck."

"He's a really good cook actually," you laughed, "He works at a coffee shop nearby my apartment, and he makes some of the best coffee I've ever had. I'm sure his spaghetti must be amazing, taking in consideration of how good of a barista he is."

Sans smiled, "my brother's pretty cool, huh?"

"The coolest."

Sans chuckled again, "does that mean you're going to see where we live? maybe you are a real creeper."

You frowned teasingly, "Sans, you wound me... Papyrus said he'd make you cook with us and I've actually been really looking forward to that! He said that his friendship spaghetti would make us all close friends, so don't disappoint me, okay?"

Sans smiled widely at you, a complete shit-eating grin, "i thought we already were close friends, texting-buddy."

You couldn't help it. You smiled wider than you had in a long time, "You bonehead, freaking Sansy..."

Sans didn't reply to your silly nicknames, choosing to just smile wider at you, a small blue hue covering his cheeks.

Eventually you saw the light of dawn reach the windows of Grillby's. You felt like an idiot, especially since you hadn't gotten an hour of sleep for over twenty-four hours. However, you didn't waste any of that time. You spent it happily with Grillby and Sans, feeling an odd sense of welcome you didn't feel anywhere else besides with monsters.

And when Sans offered to walk you home, well, it wasn't like you could refuse to that.


	14. Confession

You didn't know whether to be happy or regretful about the events that took place last night.

Seeing Sans was great, especially since you had been wanting to spend some time with him for a little while now. And being able to hear that monster's singing voice was a nice touch as well. ( _SHIT._ You forgot where you last saw your CD. You hoped you had remembered to bring it back home.)

But, you were now feeling the after effects of staying up until morning. On a work night.

You kept yawning furiously, and it was hard to try to keep your eyes open. You honestly hated feeling like this. If it wasn't for Undyne, you'd likely just keep the store closed for the day. Oh, the joys of being an employer and a friend.

Speaking of Undyne, she was uncharacteristically late that day.

You wondered if anything bad or drastic had happened or if she had just slept in late like you wished you could do. Her hours were quite flexible, considering she could come in whenever she'd like. Knowing her though, she'd likely have called you or texted you if anything had came up. Honestly, you just wanted to talk with her about... You didn't know what, but she was fun to gossip with.

It was only early in the morning but yet you felt so exhausted.

 _Why?_ Was the only question you could ask yourself, _Why did I stay up so late? I'm an idiot..._

Maybe you could close your eyes for a minute, lock up the store, and waited till Undyne showed up. After all, she did have keys.

Maybe if you slept for a minute, you'd be better off and able to actually fully comprehend the day.

Maybe if you just...

Bam.

You were out like a light.

Not for too long, of course.

You were awoken by a loud slam against your counter, jolting you wide awake for a second. Your eyes widened as you glanced nervously at the person who caused your awakening.

Undyne stared at you, dumbfounded, with a coffee cup in her hand and one in front of you.

"Dude," she said slowly, "Were you asleep?"

You stared back, "Is that coffee?"

"It could be," she tried to hide a smile, "It could be yours if you answered my question."

Sheepishly, you nodded as you grabbed the warm cup and brought it to your lips, "I guess it was a late night. Thank you."

Oh god, you swear you had a coffee addiction. The taste was sweet and had hints of whipped cream and caramel in it – Undyne was a life saver.

"What happened, punk?" Undyne pulled off her jacket, tying it on her waist, and sat down into her chair next to yours.

You took another sip before sighing, "I couldn't sleep, I guess. I walked around for a moment. Why were you late?"

"I grabbed us some coffee," Undyne smiled, "Figured we both could've used it. You seem like you needed it more than I did though."

You knew she was talking about the deep, dark circles under your eyes and you chuckled softly, "Thank you."

"What'd you do last night?" Undyne stretched her arms, looking at you intensely while doing so.

If you hadn't known Undyne, you'd likely be intimidated by her stares, but you just smiled widely, "It was a weird night. I went out to go to do something, anything, I guess. I headed out towards an old CD shop that was pretty cool. I hummed along with another monster, so that was pretty fun."

"Wait," Undyne stopped you, "Shyren? Looks kind of like, what, an angler fish?"

You nodded, wanting to laugh but your exhaustion prevented you, "I think so. We didn't talk, but she has a lovely singing voice."

"Oh, god, that's good," Undyne said, "Back in the Underground, her voice was flat and sounded awful. She's a real cute person, but damn. That voice killed my ears."

"She seemed really nice," You took another sip, "After that, I kept walking around before I found some resturant..."

"Go on?" Undyne took a hearty sip of hers, and you wanted to lecture her about savoring her coffee.

You tried to contain a smile, but it quickly took over your whole face, "I... I found a place called Grillby's about a mile from my place. I remember Sans had talked to me about it once, so I went inside and... I, um."

Undyne had placed her coffee on the counter and leaned in your direction, listening to your every word, "Oh my god, dude, what happened?"

You laughed, "It was all surreal. I saw Sans sitting at the bar over there and we talked for a little while. I think it was, like, almost five before I got home?"

Undyne stared before her laughs started to fill the entire room, "OH. MY. GOD. I can't believe you two punks! What the hell are you doing here? You should be sleeping, _!"

"That'd seem a bit rude," you said, "I'd hate to be called right as I'm getting ready for work to then hear it was canceled. Besides, it's not too bad."

"You literally just fell asleep."

"But now I have coffee, Undyne."

She rolled her eyes at you, "You two are so freaking cute together."

Your face turned bright red, "C-Cute? To-Together?"

She stared at you, "Aren't you two dating? I thought you might've just been quiet, since Sans tries to keep sensitive stuff away from Paps."

You covered up your face in your hands, your words starting to sound muffled, "Undyne, no! We're not dating, you freaking dork!"

Undyne started laughing wickedly, "But you want to?"

"Undyne, oh my god, stop!" You shook your head wildly.

The fish monster kept cackling at you as you felt your face grow flustered even more. After a moment of Undyne's laughter stopping, you removed your hands from your face to look at her.

She looked like she was thinking intently, and she smiled widely at you once she realized you were staring.

"Look, _," Undyne started, "Sans is a pretty alright dude. While me and him don't see eye-to-eye a lot, I still think he's pretty chill. You both have the same kind of, I dunno, attitude? Well. You're nicer and less lazy, BUT. If you like him, I'd say go for it."

Your face felt hot, and you wondered if it was possible to get any more red than you were.

While you weren't expecting it, Undyne took a quick picture of you with her phone.

" _Undyne!_ " You squeaked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm sending our little Sansy a cute picture of you," Undyne said, and before you could stop her, clicked send on the picture.

"If you're worried about him not liking ya," Undyne shoved her phone back in her pocket, obviously pleased with herself, "...You shouldn't."

"Undyne, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying you've got a short skeleton head over heals for you."

"And, look. If you don't like Sans back, that's fine. Just be honest," Undyne winked, "But, if I'm reading it right, you kind of like him back, right?"

You stared at her for a second, unable to think of the right words to say.

"I'd think you two'd be cute, anyways," Undyne smiled, "Both of you need someone nice in your lives... And your goddamn awful puns, UGH."

Finally, you took a deep breath, "I... I _might_ like Sans."

Undyne stared at you for a second, but then squealed loudly like a fangirl, "OH MY GOD, REALLY? ALPHYS OWES ME TEN BUCKS. I THOUGHT YOU TWO HAD THE HOTS, SPECIALLY WHAT SANS HAD TOLD ME A WHILE AGO. THIS IS SO CUTE, DON'T YOU REALIZE THE CUTENESS OF THIS, _?! OH. MY. GOD. IF YOU TWO GET MARRIED, YOU HAVE TO PROMISE TO MAKE ME THE BRIDESMAID."

"M-Married?!" You squeaked, "Oh my dear god, Undyne!"

"What bet did you make with Alphys?" you were afraid to ask, "And what did you even talk about with Sans?"

Undyne snorted, "Alphys said you'd be too shy to admit that you liked him! I said that you'd confess your undying love to him first!"

"Undyne, I haven't even told him, I-"

"AND." Undyne cut you off, "Like. I asked him if he liked you that one day where shit hit the fan, and he didn't answer me. Instead he kept saying really vague stuff like you were nice and he enjoyed talking to you, all that dumb bullshit. Also his really awful puns, blah blah."

"I don't even think he lik-" You stopped, remembering all of the silly pickup lines he had been using on you. Oh god, what if he did? "What does it mean when a skeleton's face turns blue?"

"Blue?" Undyne seemed confused, "Paps's face turns orange when he blushes, if that's what you means."

You finally clicked everything together.

Oh my god, what.

Oh my god.

 _Sans likes me?_ You kept repeating in your head, _But why? I'm so boring... I don't know. Why would he like me? Oh my god. I just realized I liked him the other day this is all escalating so fast, what do I do-_

"What did you two do after you left Grillby's?"

"We went to my apartment-"

"OH MY GOD. DID YOU TWO SLEEP TOGETHER?"

"S-SLEEP TOGETHER?" You said loudly, embarrassed but glad there wasn't any customers inside, "Undyne, no, no! I've never really kissed anyone before! Where did you get that from?"

"YOU'VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE? HOW OLD ARE YOU?"

"I'm twenty-three..."

Undyne got up and pointed at you, something you were finally used to, "_, YOU WEIRD VIRGIN. WE'RE SETTING YOU UP WITH A LAZY SKELETON WHO OBVIOUSLY LIKES YOU AND YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BE SO. FREAKING. CUTE."

You sighed and stopped trying to will your blush away – it wasn't going away anytime soon, "What do I do? I've got a huge crush on a dorky skeleton..."

Undyne gave you a shit-eating grin, "You're gonna look cute and kiss him, you nerd! When's the next time you two are going to hang out?"

"P-Papyrus invited me to a cooking lesson on Saturday," you admitted shyly.

"REALLY?" Undyne seemed elated, "Thank god! I can give you pointers! Papyrus invited me too 'cause I taught him how to cook."

"You did? He's a really good barista-"

"I BURNT DOWN MY HOUSE IN WATERFALL," Undyne chuckled, "BUT THAT'S UNIMPORTANT."

Undyne was obviously pleased with herself, as she didn't let you respond, "OKAY. So. You're gonna wear something really freaking cute. Not just your jeans, sweater, blah combo. No offense."

"I like my sweaters."

"We're gonna make Sans freaking die over you," Undyne seemed so passionate about getting you two together, "And he's gonna wanna kiss you the minute he sees you, I promise."

"Undyne," you found yourself unwilling to think about this, "I don't know if Sans likes me that way, at least not for sure. What if he and Papyrus think we're being ridiculous? I-I don't want them to hate me, or think I'm pathetic or anything..."

She frowned at you, almost to the point of a glare, "You need to think better about yourself, _! It's obvious you're a freaking cutie and it's easy to tell when people like each other. Sans likes you, and you can fire me if we make fools out of ourselves – which we won't. And saying you can fire me is, like, huge because this job RULES!"

You smiled at your friend and laughed, "I'll let you try this out, okay? But I'm not going to do anything dramatic."

"But I wanted you to confess your undying love to Sansy and ask Papyru for his hand is marriage," She winked, "Kidding."

Undyne smiled at you, "I'm really glad you found someone like Sans. Although we don't get along – like I said, he's a pretty good guy. I'd only let you date someone that I'm sure would treat you well."

"Thank you, Undyne," You beamed at her.

Undyne looked at you and shook her head, "Only the best for you, _. You're my best friend, nerd."

You blushed all over again and stumbled over your words, "Y-You're my best friend too, Undyne!"

After a long time of talking and planning, you and Undyne figured out what you'd do on Saturday with Papyrus's cooking lesson. Although you were nervous and felt quite silly, you were excited and glad you had a friend to talk about this with.

And Undyne, being the great friend that she was, even let you fall asleep on her shoulder for an hour or two after you guys were done.


	15. Favorite Sweater

_Why did you agree to this?_

You should've realized that it was an awful idea from the start. Sans probably didn't even like you the same way... You felt as if you were too plain and boring and awkward and obviously way too anxious for anyone to even like you. Much less someone like Sans.

You felt so conflicted. Sans and you had been friends for less than a month, and yet you felt like you had known him longer in some odd way. Almost every time you met him, however, you'd done something cringingly embarrassing. _Hell._ You spilt an entire bottle of ketchup on both of you. What made you think he would ever like you back?

Even... What made you like him? You didn't necessarily have some fetish for monsters. Wait. No. It wasn't like you had a fetish for _anyone._ Your social skills were obviously lacking at best, and romance was an endeavor you participated in never. (You had, like, one stupid crush in middle school).

Sans was different. Sans was, well, Sans. He has hilariously awful puns. His easy-going attitude, his midnight texts, his star obsession, his weird ketchup drinking, his dorky cute blush you just realized was a blush...

Oh hell. You knew you were falling for him.

Falling as hard as that damned family-sized ketchup bottle.

You shuffled nervously in front of your slightly cracked bathroom mirror. You felt silly looking at yourself and way, way, way too fancy looking to be making spaghetti. Undyne would be half proud of you, though.

You wore your favorite sweater you saved for _special_ occasions. It was a loose (but still managed to be tighter than your usual attire) pastel pink and white striped sweater that was a bit too long on the sleeves. With it, you wore a flared white skirt along with white tights. You felt nice for once, sure, this was your favorite outfit. But feeling cute didn't keep you from feeling overdressed.

To balance it out, you threw on a pair of scuffed black combat boots. And, for the hell of it, you let your hair down for the first time in years.

Undyne squealed when she opened up her front door and drew you in for an almost life-threatening tight hug. She literally screamed that you looked hot and irresistible, saying you should wear your hair down more often.

She went to whisper to you that Sans was going to have one extra bone that night. At first, you didn't get it. But soon enough, you felt your face flush and you yelled at her for it.

Although she looked just fine, Undyne said she wasn't ready to go yet. You sat on her couch while you watched Undyne curl her hair, sitting on the ground and glaring into her mirror.

"FRICK," Undyne yelped, pulling the iron away quickly, "I frickin' hate these stupid things!"

You giggled, "Then why are you doing it? I thought we were just going to Papyrus's."

"Alphys and I are going on a midnight date," she brought it back to her head, more cautiously this time.

"Where is Alphys anyways?" You asked curiously, looking around the room for emphasis.

"Work," Undyne replied, "She needed to stay late at the lab today. Something about doing extra tests... That might mean I'll have to go after a few hours. You think you'll be okay?"

 _No,_ "Y-yeah," you stuttered awkwardly, not so sure what to expect, "don't you think that Papyrus will understand what's going on though?"

Undyne laughed heartily, "Paps doesn't think of anything besides his spaghetti while he's cooking. Probably why he's a better cook than I am."

You smiled, "He's a real sweetheart..."

"I know, right?" Undyne had a sense of pride in her voice, "He's such an innocent and sweet guy. Did he ever tell you he wanted to join the royal guard?"

You shook your head.

"He waited outside my house for _days_ ," Undyne finished her hair and started putting it back in her signature ponytail, "Begging if he could join. At first, I thought it was pretty damn annoying. But he persisted. And persisted. It got so much that I finally agreed to train him if he would just shut up."

She turned around to look at you, "He's real tough, 'm not saying he isn't. Like. I'm sure he could even take on Asgore and last..."

"But he's a big softie. Paps would rather try to befriend someone than fight. That's what happened with Frisk at least. Honestly, I couldn't ever really teach him much less hire him into the guard. Paps would turn into a big pile of smiling dust - still trying to befriend whoever killed him."

You started to say something, but what was there to say?

Undyne took a deep, long breath and began to recollect herself, "Although it's been pretty difficult, I think the Surface has been doing us all some good," Undyne smiled, "'Sides, we got to meet you."

"Undyne..."

"Oh, you shush, punk!" Undyne's vigor returned, full-blast, "C'mon, I'm almost done. Help me choose a scarf. Red or yellow?"

You smiled back at her shyly and pointed to the yellow one, "Alphys might like this one best."

Unlike you, Undyne had a car. It was nice and surprisingly pretty clean inside. You found yourself wondering if Alphys's job paid well. (God only knows how awful your pay was.)

You two kept in relative silence throughout the drive. The skeleton brothers' house was farther than you had originally anticipated. Still, it didn't feel like much time had passed before Undyne pulled into the driveway. If you hadn't felt nervous before, by now you wondered if you could die in anticipation. You were practically shaking.

 _What if everything goes totally wrong? What if you messed up irreversibly? What if both you and Undyne had read the signs completely wrong? What if Sans and Papyrus started hating you; what if they already hated you and were just being kind? What if-_

"Hey, _," Undyne's voice brought you out of your trance, "You ready?"

You decided to be honest, "Nope."

Undyne swung the car door open, "Well. TOO BAD!"

You stared at her, feeling doubtful about this entire situation. You didn't want to keep her or the skeletons waiting, so you slowly opened your door and walked out.

Their house was big - bigger then you had originally expected, at least. It was nice though, and you were sure that no house could be big enough to contain Papyrus's, or even Sans's, shenanigans.

Undyne smiled widely at you, trying to reassure you. "It'll be alright, _, stop worrying so much."

 _If only I could._ "I-I'll try," you said quietly, catching up to where she was, "I'm just a little nervous."

"Don't be! I wouldn't be surprised if Sans couldn't keep his hands off of ya!" Undyne said bluntly, making you blush.

"Oh my gosh," you laughed as both of you began walking towards the door.

"You ready?" Undyne said, getting ready to ring the doorbell.

"As ready as I'll ever be," you admitted weakly. You sounded like a nervous wreck, but Undyne didn't comment on it.

You almost flinched as she practically slammed her fist into the doorbell.

You weren't surprised when Papyrus eagerly came to answer the door almost seconds afterwards. He wore one of his silly novelty t-shirts, this time saying _COOL TO THE BONE._ You grinned at this, feeling comforted by Papyrus's friendliness.

"HUMAN! UNDYNE!" Papyrus had a huge grin plastered all over his skull, "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ALL DAY. THE SPAGHETTI WILL NOT COOK ITSELF, AFTER ALL."

"What?" you teased, "I thought all pastas did that."

"PASTA COOKS ITSELF?" Papyrus almost screamed with glee, "_, YOU WILL HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS SELF-COOKING PASTA LATER! BUT, FOR NOW, BOTH OF YOU COME INSIDE AND WE CAN START OUR COOKING LESSON."

Papyrus practically pulled both of you inside, leading both of you into his kitchen. Spacious, clean, and oddly cold - it screamed Papyrus. (It actually did, he had written his name in _Sharpie_ all over one of the walls, which was labeled 'THE GREAT WALL OF PAPYRUS'.)

You felt your smile grow as Papyrus talked to you about spaghetti, grabbing pots and pans and putting them on top of the burners. His spaghetti noodles and sauces were already laid out on the counter to the left of you. It was easy to tell that he had been excited for this all day due to all this preparation. (So were you, but it was for entirely different reasons. You were still really happy to see Papyrus, though.)

"UNDYNE TOLD ME HOW TO DO THIS YEARS AGO," Papyrus exclaimed, ripping open the box of noodles, "SHE WAS MY GREAT FRIEND AND TEACHER. BUT! TODAY! I WILL BE TEACHING BOTH OF YOU!"

"You're my teacher?" Undyne snorted, leaning against the fridge, "That'll be a day I never want to see."

Papyrus seemed offended by her remark, "UNDYNE!?"

"Paps," Undyne smiled, playfully punching him in his shoulder, "I'm kiddin'. I'm excited to see how much you've learned from me."

The tall skeleton seemed to blush, as an orange hue began to take over his cheekbones, "I PROMISE THAT THIS SPAGHETTI WILL TASTE AS ALMOST AS GREAT AS I WOULD. EXCEPT I AM A SKELETON, AND I WOULD PROBABLY NOT TASTE VERY GOOD."

You tried to keep yourself from laughing at his innocence, but doing so ended up making you laugh harder. Undyne and Papyrus both turned to stare at you.

"HUMAN? WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" Papyrus looked genuinely worried about you.

You took a second to breathe, taking big and deep breaths, "N... Nothing, Papyrus... Oh gosh, I just need... I just need a moment."

"WELL," Papyrus stopped for a second, "WE CAN COVER PUTTING IN THE NOODLES FOR YOU IF YOU WANT TO GET MY LAZY BROTHER FROM HIS ROOM."

Your heart stopped and you noticed Undyne winking at you, "I-I, um-"

"PLEASE EXCUSE THE MESS IN THERE," Papyrus was completely oblivious, filling up a huge pot with water, "SANS IS SUCH A LAZYBONES, HE STARTED HIS OWN DIRTY SOCK COLLECTION BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO DO ANY LAUNDRY."

Undyne looked at you, raising an eyebrow suggestively, "Yeah, we'll cover for you. Besides, didn't you say you needed a moment?"

"SANS'S ROOM IS UPSTAIRS, THE FARTHEST ONE TO THE RIGHT," Papyrus said, completely focused on his dish.

You glared at Undyne and took a deep breath, "Oh... Okay... I-I'll be back in a moment, I suppose."

Your legs felt like jello, you were so nervous. As you walked away from the two monsters, you heard Undyne snickering in the background. You restrained the urge to lecture her about being subtle.

Oh god, was this the moment of truth?

It was obvious how this was going to turn out. You were going to make a huge fool out of yourself and none of the monsters would want to talk to you again.

You wiped your sweaty hands on your tights, feeling a bit grossed out by the sensation. Stressing out wouldn't do you any good, you knew that. There was always a (however small) possibility that the small skeleton might like you back.

Besides, even if he didn't, you two could still be friends. Maybe not everything had to turn out to the worst case scenario.

You walked up the stairs slowly and passed by what you assumed what Papyrus's room was. It had silly posters and signs taped neatly to it. Stop signs, pictures, notes from Sans, an autograph by Mettaton. The autograph had a cute little heart at the end and you started to wonder what was exactly going on between those two.

Whatever it was, it was adorable.

Finally, when you were in front of what you were pretty sure what was Sans's room, you felt anxiety rush up like running water. _It'll be fine,_ you kept repeating to yourself.

 _What if..._

 _...Screw it._

You knocked on the door, feeling confident in yourself. You wouldn't let your stupid anxiety problems mess this up or make you feel awful about yourself like it always did. No, today you were going to be strong and confident. You weren't going to be shy, not today.

"come in?" Sans voice sounded gruff and confused.

 _He probably thinks you're Papyrus._

You didn't say anything back, instead you took a deep breath, and swung the door open.


	16. Friendship Spaghetti

"hey, papryus," Sans started to turn around from his desk, "i'll be coming down in a moment. is _ here-"

His eye sockets widened when he noticed you, and you felt yourself blush in spite of it all.

Sans's room was messy and cluttered, but it screamed _him._ Clothes were laid haphazardly across the entire room – ranging from t-shirts, jackets, and more basketball shorts. His bed was unmade and a green blanket was thrown across it.

There wasn't much more to it, however, besides from the computer desk Sans's was currently sitting by.

Unlike usual, Sans was wearing a black hoodie and jeans rather than his fluffy blue jacket and shorts. You wondered why, but didn't mind it. (Okay, okay... He probably looked cute in whatever he wore, but this was adorable.)

You held your hands behind your back, smiling shyly, "H-Hi! I... Sorry if I walked in at a bad time... P-Papyrus wanted me to go grab you."

Sans's face had a small hint of blue on it, and you would've likely laughed if you hadn't felt so anxious, "no, no. it's good, kiddo. did paps drag you here to make spaghetti with him tonight?"

You nodded, not knowing what really to say.

Sans smiled at you and got up from his desk, stretching his bones, "got yourself into an im _pasta_ ble situation, huh?"

You laughed, "I guess so, Sansy."

"you look nice today," Sans said, walking past you suddenly and without looking back.

If you felt offended, you didn't know. Instead you smiled as your face heated up, "You l-look good today too, Sansy."

Sans gave you a thumbs up as he kept walking down the stairs. You watched him with a weird sense of happiness, trying to stifle your growing laughter.

 _Is this a good sign?_

You followed him downstairs and back into the kitchen. Undyne and Papyrus were fighting about how to stir the pasta.

"Papyrus, NO!" Undyne shouted, "You're supposed to stir it harder!"

Papyrus wouldn't let Undyne touch the pot, stirring the noodles with care, "UNDYNE. I AM MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS, DO NOT TOUCH MY COOKING YET."

"HARDER!" Undyne yelled, looking like she could suppress a boulder.

"IF YOU STIR IT HARDER," Papyrus looked exhausted, "THE NOODLES WILL BE OVER STIRRED AND OVERCOOKED! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME."

Undyne chuckled heartily and slapped Papyrus's shoulder bones, "Paps! I'm kidding! Last time I said that to someone – my house burned down!"

"i guess you could say," Sans leaned against the opposite counter, smiling wide, "it got a little too saucey in there."

"SANS!" Papyrus groaned loudly.

Undyne turned to wink at you maliciously, "Hey, Sans."

"hey, undyne," Sans smiled.

"HUMAN!" Papyrus said to you suddenly, making you jump, "I NEED TO TEACH YOU HOW TO COOK SPAGHETTI! SANS, UNDYNE! GO TO THE LIVING ROOM AS YOU'LL JUST MAKE A MESS IN HERE!"

Undyne scoffed and Sans snickered, but neither of them said anything. They walked to the living room almost like a pair of elementary schoolers. You wondered if they listened to Papyrus like that often.

Papyrus turned his complete and full attention to you and his spaghetti, "_! I NEED YOU TO GRAB THAT CAN OF SAUCE RIGHT TO YOUR LEFT! THIS SPAGHETTI WILL BE ONE OF THE GREATEST IF I AM NOT THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

You smiled warmly at the skeleton and did as he asked, watching him pour it into the saucepan like a pro.

Suddenly, you started worrying about what Undyne was saying.

 _Oh my god. Undyne. Please. Please. Don't say anything awful, please. I know you mean well, but- Oh god._

You couldn't hear them say anything, but you were almost positive that someone was saying something ridiculous. Or Sans was telling puns. You prayed for the last one.

However, as much as you loved worrying, Papyrus didn't let you for long. He started telling you how to make 'friendship spaghetti' – which wasn't that different from regular spaghetti, but from Papyrus it seemed to have much more heart into it.

You were pleasantly surprised as you had originally expected to just watch Papyrus cook. Well. You did, but. He let you help a few times, which you were sure meant more to him than he was trying to lead on.

After a while, Papyrus finally announced that dinner was finished and that you'd all become closer friends afterwards. The spaghetti was really good, you'd admit, and Papyrus really had a knack for cooking. You hoped you could do something like this again with them – all of them, including Toriel and Frisk.

No one really talked during dinner, but no one was expected to. When you and Papyrus walked in, Undyne was groaning loudly while Sans was glaring at her. However, when Sans saw you come in he gave you a shy smile.

And, to no one's surprise, you gave him your own timid smile in return.

You all finished dinner after a few minutes, Papyrus and you gathered everyone's dishes right almost immediately afterwards.

"Hey, Papyrus," you said, placing dishes into the sink, "If you want me too, I wouldn't mind doing the dishes."

Papyrus looked at you curiously, "HUMAN? I DO NOT THINK THAT WOULD BE PROPER OF ME TO SAY YES."

You smiled, "I feel like it would be a way to show my friendship towards you."

"OH MY GOD, SANS," Papyrus yelled, causing Sans to almost run into the kitchen with a more than confused expression, "MY SPAGHETTI HAS CAUSED THIS WONDERFUL HUMAN TO BECOME OUR FRIEND! I AM SO HAPPY!"

Sans looked at you, then Papyrus, shaking his head, "paps. that's great. i was pretty sure she was our friend before though."

Papyrus glared at his older brother, " _SANS!_ WE CAN ONLY EXPECT GREAT THINGS TO HAPPEN AFTER TONIGHT! WE CAN ALL COOK SPAGHETTI TOGETHER, CREATE WONDERFUL AND COMPLEX PUZZLES, AND DO SO MANY OTHER THINGS THAT ONLY US BESTIES CAN DO!"

You heard Undyne snort loudly from the living room.

Sans smiled wide, "i'm happy about it too, paps. it'll be a _pun-_ derful time for all of us."

Papyrus groaned loudly and stormed off, "STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH PUNS!"

You giggled softly, putting your hand over your mouth, and Sans turned to look at you again. You didn't notice, but his expression softened and he looked pleased.

"Ah," you said, trying to calm down, "Papyrus is wonderful..."

"that's why he calls himself 'the great papyrus'," Sans snickered, jumping up to sit on their counter.

You smiled at Sans and began to roll up your sleeves, "I'm r-really happy Papyrus invited me over. I've had a wonderful night so far."

"you and me both, kiddo," Sans said, "i think today's one of the only days paps's spaghetti hasn't been overcooked."

"Overcooked?" You turned on the faucet.

"yeah," Sans confirmed, "while it isn't awful, i'd rather have non-mushy spaghetti every night."

You began washing the plates the four of you used, "I usually eat frozen dinners, so this has been, like, a buffet for me."

You didn't see Sans, but his expression changed, "you should come over to eat here more often."

You shook your head, "No, no... I'd hate to be a bother."

"it's no bother. 'sides, you're already washing our dishes."

Sans didn't say anything for a moment, but you heard him take a breath before he did, "you look nice today, _."

"I thought you said that earlier," you said shyly, watching spaghetti sauce go down the drain.

"i," Sans paused, "well. it's true?"

You washed off your hands, turned off the faucet, and turned around to face Sans, "I think you look nice too, but I said that earlier as well."

Sans chuckled, "i don't think i've ever seen you with your hair down."

Subconsciously, you ran a hand through your hair, "I, um... Does it look awful?"

"just the opposite," Sans smiled at you, almost shyly.

You felt your face go pink and you laughed softly, "I-I don't think I've ever seen you out of that blue jacket."

"do i look bad?" Sans winked.

"I think you look great," You said timidly, "Not saying that you don't look good in your blue jacket or anything! I think you look fine however you feel comfortable in and... Oh gosh. I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Sans laughed, clutching his stomach, "oh, _, oh my god. you are definitely a unique human being."

"I hope that isn't a bad thing..." you mumbled softly, feeling defeated.

"nothing about you could be bad," Sans said, still laughing hard.

Your face went redder and you stumbled to say something, only succeeding in making Sans laugh harder.

"I-I," Oh god, you felt so awkward, "I think... I think that Undyne and P-Papyrus are likely waiting for us, and..."

Sans took a deep breath, a shit eating grin plastered on his entire face, "shall we go ketchup with them?"

You playfully swatted at him, frowning, "You're awful, Sansy."

"i think i'm pretty bonerific," Sans chuckled.

Then he stopped, realizing what he just said.

Sans's entire face went to his (adorable?) blue hue and he paused for a second. He didn't dare to meet you in the eyes.

You tried not to laugh, but you couldn't help it, "S-Sansy! I didn't know you felt that way."

Sans slowly turned to look at you, his face blue with embarrassment and something else you couldn't quite place, "_?"

You smiled at him, "Let's not keep the others waiting."

You shyly held your hand out towards him, feeling extreme anxiety and fear.

Sans looked at you and smiled wide, grabbing your hand and interlocking it with your own.

You felt your face burn even more, if that was possible, and noticed Sans's blue hue grew as well. You chuckled softly and walked back to Undyne and Papyrus.

Sans's hand was boney, of course, but it definitely wasn't what you were expecting. It was warm and not as hard as you had expected. In fact, it felt a little soft. Well. As soft as bones could feel. It felt comforting, though, and you hoped Sans didn't let go anytime soon.

Knowing your luck, though, he'd probably let go once he remembered exactly _who_ you were.

Papyrus seemed to be fiddling with the TV set, exclaiming that he had to show you one of Mettaton's movies. Undyne looked at you two, but said nothing and only gave you a wide smile and a wink.

You and Sans didn't say anything either, sitting on the couch together much more close than you had expected. Not to say you minded it, of course.

Papyrus finally figured out what movie to watch, saying it was one that was quite explosive. (Adding a few _NYEH HEH HEH's_ with his speech.)

The lights were turned off. Undyne, you, and Sans all sat on the couch together while Papyrus laid on his stomach on the ground, enticed by Mettaton's movie.

Undyne shot you a few sneakily hid winks and glances, even going so far to hit your shoulder and give you one of her famous shit eating grins. You were shy and embarrassed, sure, but you were hell of a lot more comfortable that Undyne was there rather than deal with this alone.

Mettaton's movie was about a human who had to unfuse a lot of bombs in only a small amount of time. Everything was a bomb – a bomb (well, of course), a glass of water, a video game, even a freaking _dog._ It was cheesy, explosive, and wonderful. Sans whispered to you that Frisk actually had to go through this one time.

Papyrus, halfway through the movie, exclaimed loudly that Mettaton was actually going to be in town in around a few months and that you just had to meet him.

You'd actually love to meet this flamboyant robot.

Not only did you love a lot of his stupid shows, it was quite obvious to see just how happy he made cute cinnamon roll Paps.

During the whole movie, however, Sans didn't let go of your hand for one single second.

You were hardly surprised when Papyrus got up and wished you all goodnight. You heard him yawning quite often towards the end of the show.

"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS," Papyrus turned the lights back on, "SHALL GO TO MY BEDROOM NOW FOR MY EVER NEEDED SLUMBER! GOODNIGHT ALL OF YOU!"

And, with that, Papyrus ran up the stairs and slammed the door behind him.

You didn't know how to respond to that, instead you just sat there in confusion and a little bit of amusement.

 _Goodness, Papyrus..._

Undyne took her phone out of her pocket and sighed, "Hey, _. It's almost midnight, so I've gotta go soon. Do you need a ride or...?"

Sans took the courtesy of answering for you, "nah, you can stay here for the night if you want to. paps would probably be delighted to see you in the morning."

With added reassurement, Sans gently squeezed your hand.

You blushed wildly, and Undyne smiled wickedly at you.

"Alright, punks!" Undyne got up from the couch and stretched her back, "I don't want to keep Alphys waiting, so I'll see both you of you nerds later."

"tell alphys i said hi," Sans said, not bothering to move an inch from the couch.

You smiled shyly at Undyne, "Y-yeah! You'll have to tell me what happens on Monday."

Undyne smirked, "Maybe not _everything._ "

Undyne began to head towards the door before stopping right in front of it, "OH MY GOD. HOW COULD I FORGET."

"I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU, _," Undyne said, throwing the front door open hard enough to almost leave a dent, "I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE!"

She didn't bother to close the door.

You smiled and laughed softly at your friend, "Oh goodness."

"that sounds kind of fishy, huh?" Sans said, shaking his head.

"I'm honestly a little scared," you whispered, making Sans chuckle.

"SANS! COME UPSTAIRS AND PLEASE READ ME A STORY!"

Papyrus was standing on top of the stairs with silly polka dot pajamas on. He even had one of those silly night hats with a poofball on it. It suited him surprisingly well.

Sans looked at you, then looked at Papyrus, and sighed.

He let go of your hand and stood up from the couch. Sans stuffed his hands in his pockets and started walking upstairs.

"what story do you want tonight, paps?" You heard Sans say. The skeletons walked to Papyrus's room and shut the door behind them.

You slumped into the couch, feeling somewhat exhausted. You wanted to stay the night, but didn't want to impose. Wouldn't it seem a bit rude to sleep over the first time you go to someone's house?

Besides, Undyne was offering you a ride...

You could always take the subway too...

You sighed audibly loud when Undyne came back inside, a brown paper bag in her arms.

"You okay?" Undyne said, standing in front of you.

You forced a small smile, "Yeah, I'm fine... I just feel... Nervous? I guess."

Undyne ruffled your hair, "It'll be fine, punk. You worry too much."

"I think I've heard that before," You laughed.

Undyne smiled widely at you, and dropped her bag onto your lap. It was a lot heavier than you expected, and you raised an eyebrow at her. (To be honest, it kind of hurt when she dropped it...)

"What is this?" You said, picking it up and staring at her curiously.

"Nothin'," Undyne's evil grin was plastered all over her face, "Just don't have too much fun tonight!"

"See you at the bookstore, hotshot," Undyne said, making a rock-n-roll sign with her hands. She slammed the door behind her.

"did undyne leave?" Sans suddenly said, right behind you.

You jumped and turned around to glare at him, "Sans, you almost killed me!"

Sans smiled and went to go sit by you again, "what's in the bag?"

"I dunno," you said, handing it to the small skeleton.

"maybe it's a family sized bottle of ketchup," Sans winked at you.

"You're awful," you stuck your tongue out.

Sans opened up the bag, and you watched him pause.

"What is it?" you felt genuinely curious at this point, watching Sans's face change considerably.

You weren't quite sure what to expect but you definitely weren't expecting what Sans said next.

"it's vodka," Sans said quietly, "undyne gave you a bottle of vodka."

 **(a/n: hey guys! i have something amazingly special planned for valentines day - hence why i'm posting a day early! i'm so excited to share with you guys what comes next, so i'll be posting a chapter AGAIN tomorrow. guess you guys can't figure out what i have planned.**

 **i spoil you guys, but i guess it means i love all of you punks!)**


	17. Questions and Answers

**(a/n: Hey guys... This chapter gets pretty heavy.**

 **Trigger warnings for: alcohol misuse, mentions of cancer, and mentions of suicide.**  
 **I love you all and I want you to stay safe.**

 **I'll be summarizing this chapter in next chapter's note if you need to skip over this one.**  
 **Happy Valentine's day, by the way!)**

You gaped at Sans, practically burning a hole into his skull, "Vodka?"

Sans turned his attention back to you, his expression almost unreadable, "yep."

"Why did she give us vodka?" you said.

"i prefer whiskey," Sans chuckled, "it tastes better."

You asked Sans if you could see the bottle and he gently placed it in your hands. It was cool, probably from sitting outside in Undyne's car all night. The liquid was clear as water and was likely easily mistaken for so. You'd seen vodka before, of course, but it was years ago. You didn't even really understand what alcohol was at that point.

The bottle was pretty looking though, you'd give it that.

Sans stared at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something.

You looked back at him and sighed, "I've really never tried alcohol before."

He raised an eyebone at you, "really?"

You slowly shook your head at the skeleton, "It's never been something that I've wanted to drink, I guess. Never had the opportunity?"

Sans made a humming noise and then shook his head, "are you planning on staying the night?"

You felt yourself flush, "I'm not sure... I wouldn't want to be intruding on anything."

"like i said before," Sans winked, "paps would be pretty happy to see you tomorrow."

You smiled softly, "Alright... I'd be pretty happy to see both of you in the morning too."

There was a brief moment of silence. Sans face hinted blue and he smiled at you, looking quite pleased with himself. You couldn't help but feel your smile grow bigger too.

Sans spoke up again before you could, "what should we do with this?" He was hinting at the bottle in your hands.

You laughed awkwardly, "I don't know. I could give it back to Undyne on Monday... That might seem a bit rude though."

"i have a better idea," Sans said with a blue hue smothering his face, sounding a bit awkward, "you said you've never tried alcohol right? do you wanna try some?"

You felt like all of your blood was going to your face, "S-Sansy? I-I don't... Know... Honestly, I'm a little scared..."

Sans smiled at you, "it's okay if you say no. i was asking if you want to try it, just in case you were curious."

You looked at him, feeling nervous, "I mean... I'm a little curious, but I don't know if it would be a great idea."

"look," Sans mood went considerably down, "if you're worried about anything, i-

"Oh my god, no!" You said way too loudly, for once knowing exactly what Sans was going to say, "I didn't even think about that, Sans. I don't know if this might mean a lot to you, but... I trust you. I don't think I'd like to try something like this with anyone else."

You looked away from him, too embarrassed and nervous to say anything else. You felt like burying your face into your hands and fading away. Although you were being completely honest with the smaller skeleton, you still felt like you might have said too much.

Then, Sans started chuckling, "_? oh god. you're amazing. i know you didn't mean it, and i appreciate what you said, but. that sounded _awful._ "

You slapped your forehead once you realized what he was hinting at, "...You're awful, Sansy..."

Sans smiled at you warmly, "i would say i'm quite opposite, in every way. you're a human, i'm a skeleton. i've got no bones about it."

"i've got quite the funny bone, huh?" Sans said as you laughed at his god awful puns.

 _This skeleton..._

"I wouldn't mind... Trying it, I guess," you said quietly, "Besides, I don't think anything too bad could happen."

Sans kept chuckling, "alright, _. your funeral."

You walked with him back into the kitchen, cradling the bottle nervously against your chest.

Sans grabbed two plain shot glasses out of the cupboard, placing one in front of him and one in front of you. You placed the vodka in between both of you, a bit shakily.

"Does Papyrus know you have those?" You teased, talking about the glasses in front of both of you.

"paps thinks it's for small humans," Sans shook his head, "he tried to get frisk to use 'em last time they were here... it was a mess, to say the least."

You giggled in spite of yourself, "Papyrus is a sweetheart."

"i'm real lucky to have him," Sans said with a tone of sadness in his voice, "if it wasn't for paps, i don't know what i would do."

You understood his feelings, "Yeah... My dad and I are the same way. I don't talk to him as often as I would like to, but... I couldn't see myself without my dad."

Sans's expression softened.

You took a deep breath and forced a smile, "Well, I guess this isn't going to drink itself?"

"maybe we could get mettaton to drink it?" Sans teased.

"I don't know if Papyrus would appreciate that," you said, making Sans roll his eyes dramatically.

"let's not talk about _that_ ," Sans huffed, grabbing the bottle and popping off the cap.

You were expecting a strong smell to fill the air, but it smelt the same. The air around you smelt like spaghetti with a really, really small hint of cologne. You wondered if Sans wore it.

He poured your glass halfway full and then his completely full.

You faked a pout, "Am I not good enough for a full glass?"

Sans smiled, "i thought we should start you off slow at first... that is, if you want to drink more afterwards."

You raised an eyebrow, trying to act confident, "I guess w-we'll see, huh?"

You grabbed the glass and raised it to your mouth. Your hands felt sweaty and resisted the urge to wipe your palms clean. You felt _so_ nervous and felt like it would completely plausible if you died from a heart attack. (It wasn't.)

The vodka did have a smell to it, but it wasn't as potent as you assumed it would be. It smelt like alcohol. A definite smell of alcohol was there. But much less than something like rubbing alcohol.

You looked at Sans and watch him chug his all down in one gulp.

 _Can skeletons even...? Well. Of course they can. Sans drinks ketchup like no tomorrow._

Sans looked at you expectantly. You closed your eyes and did the exact same thing you just watched him do.

It tasted like fire.

Liquid fire.

Definitely wasn't anything like coffee, you'd give it that much.

You took a deep breath and practically slammed the glass down onto the counter. You thought you had maybe shattered it at first.

The taste, well, wasn't bad.

It was strong and definitely had a kick to it, but you were reminded of something sweet once the original fire went away.

You opened your eyes slowly and looked at Sans. His infamous shit eating grin had reappeared and his eyes were shining with amusement.

"how was it?" Sans said. You could hear his contained laughter in every word he spoke.

"It was strong," You coughed into your sleeve, "It wasn't bad though."

"wanna go for another round?" Sans asked cautiously, sounding like he might've been a bit nervous to ask, "it's all on you though. depends on if that sounds fun or not."

You took a second to contemplate and sighed, "Why not?"

Sans and you sat on the floor, leaning against his old couch. The vodka bottle still had more than enough liquor in it. Sans grabbed the bottle and poured a generous amount into each shot glass.

You eyed him curiously, "Haven't we already done, like. Three rounds already, Sansy?"

After the first few shots, you felt loosened up and talking was just... Easier. You didn't worry about what Sans or anyone else thought of you. _Hell,_ you didn't even over contemplate every single word you said like always.

It was nice, you'd admit. You wondered if 'normal' people usually felt this way.

Sans seemed to be a bit more easygoing than usual, too. Which was honestly quite surprising, considering his usual attitude.

"wanna make a bet?" Sans snickered, "who can drink more?"

"That's a horrible idea," you said.

Despite what you might've said, you were able to chug down your entire glass in one shot. It still burned like hell, but you really liked the way it was able to make you feel.

Sans smiled, "i don't think you really feel like that though."

"Fine," you stuck your tongue out at him, "I want to do something rather than just blindly drink..."

"we can play a game," Sans suggested, "after every shot, we ask the other person a question."

"A question game?" you raised an eyebrow, puzzled by what Sans was suggesting, "What do you mean?"

Sans slumped into the ground more, seemingly relaxed, "you ask me a question, i ask you a question. you can always ask for a different question if something makes you uneasy."

"Should we start now then?" You asked, smiling shyly, "We did just take a drink, right?"

"sure," Sans shrugged, "you or me first?"

"I don't care," you answered.

"where's your favorite place down here?" Sans asked casually.

You took a second to answer, "I'm not quite sure, honestly. There's this one particular place but I can't remember the name of it."

"what did it look like?"

"It was when I saw you that one night," You smiled shyly, "It was a small music shop a few blocks away from my place. I've only been there once, but... It was really nice. I bought a CD there but I lost it..."

Sans's eyes widened, "oh, really? you left it at grillby's, i think. grillbz told me he found it after we left. i think it's in my room now."

You took a deep breath, "Thank you! Y-You don't have to go and get it right now or anything... I'll just grab it before I leave."

Sans shook his head, "your turn?"

"I'd ask where you favorite place is, but..." You winked at Sans, "I think I already know that..."

"How was the Underground?" you asked foolishly.

You noticed Sans tense up and you opened your mouth to apologize, "it was... dark, i guess."

"Sans, I-"

"kiddo," Sans seemed to be pretending that he was comfortable with the question, "it's fine. the monsters were nice, they still are. me and paps lived in snowdin - which was winter all the time. it was pretty nice. i don't think i'd want to go back anytime soon though. asgore asked us all to go back in a few weeks, but i decided not to go."

"Undyne was telling me about that," you nodded, "I actually was going to ask you... Do you, maybe, want to fill in for her? It'd be nice to have someone there while she's gone. I didn't notice how much I needed the extra help."

Sans looked at you for a second and smiled widely, "sure, _. i'd love to. i can probably get a few days off."

"Do you still work at that hot dog stand?" You frowned, "It's been really cold outside."

"guess you'll have to drink another shot to find out," Sans teased.

This time, you filled up both of your glasses, accidentally spilling vodka on your tights and his pants.

You didn't notice Sans blushing and looking away.

"Dammit," you cursed quietly, "At least it's clear, huh? I'm sorry... I'm such a klutz sometimes..."

"nope, you're good," Sans muttered quietly, "it's fine."

"Alright, so you have to answer my question now," you smiled softly, feeling that awful hint of anxiety come up, "If you want to, that is."

"oh yeah," Sans seemed to be back to normal and you almost sighed a breath of relief, "i quit there a few weeks ago."

"What do you do now?" you asked quietly, worrying if you'd say anything upsetting.

Sans smiled at you, "alphys hired me on her team. i work at the same lab she does, but we haven't done anything real important yet. it's been cool though. we worked together one time in the underground."

"That's awesome," you admitted shyly, "I've always thought science was really cool. I'm just not smart enough to understand it most of the time."

"i think you're doing just fine," Sans ruffled your hair comfortingly.

"It's your turn, right?" You nudged him slightly, sitting up straighter.

Sans nudged you right back, "how'd you get your bookstore?"

You felt yourself freeze unintentionally, not really liking the answer for his question. You hadn't even told Undyne this yet, and she did work there. To be quite honest, you typically tried to not think about it... That wasn't fair though, considering how much you loved your mom.

That didn't change the fact that this was the _exact_ question you didn't want to answer.

"hey, _," he put a hand comfortingly on your shoulder, "don't say anything if it makes you uncomfortable, remember?"

You took a deep breath, "I got it when I was nineteen. My parents called me up and gave me the keys one day. At first, I had no idea why. Why were they giving me the keys to the store they loved so dearly? They knew I'm no good with people, much less anything else. They gave me the keys and said I could do whatever I wanted, even selling it. At that point, I-I knew there was something wrong."

"My mom..." You felt your voice hitch, "She gave me a huge hug and told me she loved me dearly. She... She told me... She told me she had just been diagnosed with glioblastoma. It's... It's a type of brain cancer."

"_," Sans eyes widened, and you felt his hand on your shoulder tighten.

"She was beginning to lose her memory at that point too," you felt your eyes start to sting, "Mom couldn't remember small things first, such as where her favorite jacket was. It only escalated from there. She began to forget bigger things too. She forgot how she had met my father, all the way to forgetting the day I was born. The only thing she didn't really forget was all the good memories we all had in that stupid bookstore. I-I couldn't sell that stupid thing, even if it was my mom's dying wish."

You laughed dryly, "Mom finally got tired of all the pain she had, saying that it hurt so _fucking_ much. And... And my mom... She... She finally killed herself one day." There was a brief pause. "I miss her so much, Sans... It felt like she died just yesterday."

You hadn't really paid attention but you noticed you were sobbing at that point, crying the tears you held in for years. Sans quickly embraced you, holding you tighter than anyone had in a long, long time.

Sans ran his hand through your hair and made shushing sounds. You laid your head against his shoulder as you tried to stop the oncoming waves of sobs. Sans didn't say anything, but his presence was comfort enough.

You tried to move away for a second after your tears paused, feeling bad you had just thrown all that heavy information at your friend. Sans wouldn't have it though, and he held you tighter.

You embraced Sans back, clinging onto him like a child. You sat there in his arms, letting the emotions you've hid away for so long finally take over.


	18. Closer than Ever

**(trigger warning for depressive thoughts. please read end note for summary of last chapter.)**

The vodka on your tights were dry now.

Your eyes were dry too but they still stung like hell. The beginnings of a migraine were starting to form in the back of your head.

Sans rubbed your back slowly as you rested your skull on his shoulder. His jacket wasn't as fluffy as his blue one seemed to be, but it was still nice. He was warm and comforting.

Neither of you really tried to speak, your voice was too sore from sobbing and you felt like Sans probably just felt uncomfortable. Really, only you could bring down the mood that quickly.

Everything hurt.

You didn't want to feel anymore.

"Sans?" you said quietly, not necessarily wanting him to hear you, "How many shots have I had?"

You felt Sans tense underneath you and he took a moment to respond, "kiddo..."

You were sure he felt sorry for you. You were sure that if you said one more personal thing you'd rip apart like a failed sewing project. Sans would know everything about you, even the things you've tried so hard over and over again to hide.

If Sans knew more about you, the more he'd hate you. The more everyone would hate you.

 _People always leave. Monsters will be just like people. Everyone leaves. Mom left. They all leave._

 _Books are better than people. Why did you think it'd be any different?_

You didn't want Sans to leave you.

Please don't let him leave you.

 _Stop feeling, stop feeling, stop feeling. Emotions hurt. Everything hurts. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!_

 _You'll always avoid your emotions like this, _. Stop hiding it. You're a mistake. A coward. A pathetic nothing._

"look, _," Sans's voice sounded a bit tired, "if you're thinking about drinking... i don't know if it'd be a good idea."

"Sans..." you sounded desperate. You moved out of Sans's arms and looked straight at him, "I don't feel very good... I just want to forget about this for a minute."

"that isn't a good idea," Sans stared straight back at you.

You felt nervous and looked away.

You knew you were going to regret your next words, but you said them anyway, "This sounds stupid, but... I just feel kind of normal right now. Well, earlier. I don't have to question everything silly or stupid thing I do, and..."

"I know it's dumb, and this might be a stupid, stupid thing to say, but... After tonight, I'll let you know anything you want to know about me, I guess."

"you're drunk," Sans stated the obvious.

"I might be," you sighed, "But my heart feels like it's hurting right now and I just want to block it out. Sans, _please._ "

Sans sighed and shook his head, "_, this isn't a good habit to start. you can, um, always talk to me if you feel sad or just need someone to hang out with. you have me, paps, undyne... everyone. we all care about you."

You felt your face flush and you turned to look towards the smaller skeleton, "You care about me?"

Sans's face hinted blue and he turned his look towards the wall, "'course i do."

You smiled and rubbed your puffy eyes, "I care about you too, Sansy."

"that being said," Sans's voice sounded concerned, "you're an adult, i can't really stop you from drinking more. but, kiddo, i think it would be a bad idea. and i'm the master of all bad ideas. so, please, _, let's just talk if you want to."

You stared at Sans and sighed, "Okay."

Sans let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in, "alright, alright. this is good. you okay?"

"I don't know," you admitted honestly.

There was a moment of awkward tension between the two of you.

"i know words can't do a lot for you," the skeleton's voice wavered, "but i'm real sorry about your mom. i honestly don't know what to say, but that's an awful thing to go through."

"She was in a lot of pain. I don't blame her," you hugged your knees tighter, "I just miss her a lot. And it's okay... You don't need to be sorry for anything. Thank you for listening to me about it."

Sans put his bony arm around your shoulders. In different circumstances, you'd likely blush. "it's no problem. i didn't say that to be nice either, you can talk to me if you ever need anyone."

You smiled shyly, "Thank you, Sans."

"you're pretty special, _," Sans said after a moment, his cologne filling up the air around you, "for a human, that is."

You laughed, "I think you're okay too. Especially for being a skeleton."

"i think we're both drunk," Sans laughed, "definitely drunk."

"What time is it even?" you looked around for your phone, but no such luck, "I hope it isn't too late. Do you have work tomorrow?"

"don't worry about it," Sans shrugged, "we'll both likely have to take the day off tomorrow. we're gonna feel like shit for sure."

"I'm glad I get to feel like shit with you," you turned to look towards his face, which was a lot closer than you had remembered. You smiled shyly, inches away from the skeleton.

Sans seemed to notice the sudden closeness and the blue grew across his cheeks more, "no one else i'd rather feel like shit with."

"Sans..."

"_."

You didn't know what to do, your heart simultaneously feeling like it was going a million miles a minute while also not beating at all.

"if i tell you something," Sans said quietly, "you should know that it's not just me being drunk, or even trying to take advantage of you. i really mean it. every word."

You felt your eyes widened, "Sans?"

"i like you, _," Sans looked you straight in the eyes, "that kinda sounds weird, huh? a skeleton liking a human. it makes no sense scientifically. it's okay if you don't think of me the same way. i just needed to tell ya that at some point. kinda felt like i was lying to you."

You noticed him staring at your lips.

In other circumstances, you would have blushed and thought he was joking.

In other circumstances, you would have ran off and pretended this wasn't happening.

In other circumstances, you wouldn't have been completely drunk with a cute skeleton who was confessing he liked you.

And you found yourself not minding where you found yourself in it all.

You leaned closer towards Sans, so close that you were just a twitch away from meeting Sans's lips (teeth?).

"I like you too, Sansy," you whispered, "I don't have to be drunk to know that either."

You closed the gap between you both.

Sans's lips (Are they lips?) were hard and, honestly, a bit cold. It felt nice and comforting, like Sans was. It wasn't a bad first kiss at all, considering your eyes still stung from crying and you were drunker than a skunk.

You moved to break the kiss and apologize to the skeleton, before you stopped.

Sans kissed you back.

He wrapped both of his arms around your neck and kissed you deeper. You were surprised by the action at first, but quickly found yourself kissing him over and over again.

Sans's arms moved down to hold onto you at your waist, his hands squeezing the sides of your waist softly. You moved to wrap your arms around his back, not breaking the kiss for a second.

You knew you should break apart for air for a moment, but not a single molecule in your body really wanted anything besides Sans.

Sans's cologne, his boney-yet-oddly-soft hands and mouth, his gentle touches. Oh god, you couldn't get enough of him.

Did you mention that Sans was _kissing_ you? Yeah. That was pretty great.

He slowly pushed you to the ground, having a boney arm support you underneath. He kept kissing you more and more passionately than you would've expected from anyone. You wondered how badly it showed how inexperienced you were and just how _experienced_ Sans seemed to be.

You weren't expecting something like this.

Sans seemed to be pushing at your mouth, begging you to open it wordlessly. You did as he asked and found yourself with something even more unexpected.

Did Sans have a tongue? How did you not notice this before?

You didn't have much time to question anything before Sans's tongue tasted yours. He tasted sweet, almost like a blueberry. He fighted for dominance, and easily won.

You felt your face heat up once you let out a small moan, hoping Sans didn't hear it.

Knowing your luck, Sans obviously heard it.

He took that as a sign of enjoyment and took the steps to further deepen the kiss. His arm underneath you was gone and you felt a hand go hesitantly up your shirt.

 _Oh god._

Sans broke apart the kiss and, between both of you, a strand of saliva connected both of your mouths together. You felt messy and unfocused, but Sans stared at you with a look of pure excitement. You smiled shyly back at him, your lips feeling a bit swollen.

He looked at you for a second before moving down to kiss your neck. In surprise, you let out a small noise.

Sans chuckled against your sensitive skin.

It all was too much, too much all at once. You wanted to stop, but you didn't want to stop. Sans liked you, out of all the people he's met, he choose you.

A wonderful skeleton like him chose someone as plain and boring as you.

Shouldn't you be happy?

His hand kept trailing up slowly as he started sucking on your neck, likely going to leave a mark the next morning. You jumped when you felt him squeeze your breast.

"S-Sans..."

Were you comfortable with this?

"you're so soft, _," Sans said inbetween kisses, "it's so weird."

Sans hand kept moving in unexpected places, each touch made you jump more than the last. It felt good, it felt too good. Did it feel bad?

Were you uncomfortable with this?

This was your first kiss and it was all happening so suddenly. Was this how first kisses were supposed to go?

You didn't feel comfortable even talking about sex or anything like it; what made you feel like you were ready for anything sexual?

Suddenly, everything stopped feeling okay.

 _I am not ready for sex. I am not ready for this. I am not ready, I am not ready, I am not ready._

"Sans," your voice sounded afraid, but Sans was too caught up into the moment. His hand moved out of your shirt, and for a second you felt relieved, before it started going down.

Sans's boney hand started going into your skirt and then your tights before you finally did anything.

You knew you weren't ready.

"Sans!" you said louder than you expected, pushing him off of you suddenly.

Your neck was wet with his saliva and you were almost a hundred percent sure you looked like a mess. Your hair felt disheveled and your shirt was up so high that it showed a little bit of your belly button.

Sans's face was almost too painful to look at. It was a mix of rejection, fear, anxiety, and all those other bad emotions only _you_ were allowed to feel.

"oh my god," his eyes widened in fear, and he didn't dare look at you in the eyes, "i am so sorry, _fuck._ i didn't mean to push you or anything, i'm sorry."

"Sans," you pulled your shirt down, your heart feeling like it was in your throat, "I-"

Sans stood up suddenly, "i'm so fucking sorry, _. i should really go now, i'm sorry. there's a blanket and a pillow on the other couch."

"Sans-"

"i need to go," he turned away and started walking towards the stairs, "it's not your fault, it's just – fuck. have a good night, i'll see you in the morning."

In a blink of an eye, Sans was gone. You didn't even notice him climbing up the rest of the stairs.

You stared where Sans was just a second ago, feeling a disarray of different emotions.

 _You were uncomfortable, it's okay._

 _You made Sans feel like shit. You're awful._

 _I can't believe what you just did, you bitch._

 _You've ruined everything._

 _They'll all leave like everyone else. Guess who's fault that is?_

 _It's yours._

 _I can't believe you expected this to go anyway different._

You didn't want to feel anymore.

Make it stop.

You didn't know what to do. You were on autopilot now. You grabbed the scratchy blanket from the couch and went to go lie down on it. It smelt like Sans, but it wasn't like you deserved to know that. Your neck felt a little sore from Sans and your lips felt puffy. Your eyes felt puffy.

You closed your eyes to try to prevent yourself from crying.

It didn't work.

That night, you hardly slept a minute. The whole time you felt yourself silently sobbing to prevent yourself from waking up Papyrus or Sans.

 _I want to die._

 **(a/n: reader is such a sad baby. i just want to snuggle her.**

 **also. this is like. my first ever makeout session i've ever wrote, so if it's a little odd i'm really sorry! i love you all and thank you so much for reading. please feel free to talk to me always over on my tumblr. it's been a wonderful experience to meet some of you.**

 **SUMMARY: Sans and reader played a drinking game with shots of vodka. Reader asked if Sans would work at the bookstore whilst Undyne was Underground with the other monsters. Also, reader got her bookstore after her mom was diagnosed with glioblastoma. Sans embraced her and let her cry on his shoulder until she was able to calm down. Pretty heavy stuff...)**


	19. Aftereffects

**(trigger warnings for hangovers and extreme anxiety)**

Pain.

Indescribable pain.

Oh god, your head hurt so bad. It felt like a million elephants had just gone on a rampage inside your brain. The minute you opened up your eyes, you already began to regret it.

You sat there for a moment, not wanting to move in fear of making it worse. You knew you'd have to get up eventually, but maybe not right now...

You tried prying your eyes open again and felt confusion. Where were you? What had happened?

Last thing you could remember was that-

Oh yeah.

You were a grade A idiot, definitely. Sans probably hated you by now.

Although you'd love to trash talk yourself for longer, you had a stupid migraine that was the bigger issue at hand. You hadn't gotten a headache like this in years. You definitely hadn't missed them though.

You got up to move off the couch. An overwhelming feeling of nausea came up and you had to throw a hand over your mouth to prevent throwing up.

Should've known this was a bad idea from the start.

Why did you want to drink more again?

You practically ran to the bathroom just incase you couldn't prevent it the next time. You almost slammed the door behind you, then caught yourself. Sans and Papyrus were likely still asleep. You closed it and locked it softly.

The pain still hurt, but you tried to push it away to collect yourself and look somewhat presentable. You had made a fool out of yourself last night, maybe it'd just be a better idea to leave soon...

Were you in a state to leave? Honestly, you felt awful. You didn't know what was the better choice - leave feeling like utter garbage or staying there and still feeling like garbage. Either way, you were still going to feel terrible.

Did you reject Sans? You weren't quite sure. He looked...

He looked so defeated. Rejected.

It's all your fault.

You took a deep breath and shook your head. Thinking like that wasn't going to do anything for you.

But at the end of the day , it was still your fault.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and noticeably winced. Oh dear. Your hair was in tangles, up in the air in different directions. The shirt you were wearing was wrinkled and slightly askew.

Your eyes were red and puffy still, and you still felt the soreness of crying all night.

It's your fault.

Would you have felt better if maybe...? You weren't sure. You likely ruined the relationship between you and Sans, probably with all the monsters actually. You felt pathetic.

You turned on the faucet and splashed some cool water on your face. You tried to fix your hair in a way that was somewhat decent, wishing that you had something to put your hair up. Keeping it down was stupid, you knew it. You hated the way your hair was.

It's your fault.

You would've felt weird if you had looked for some aspirin in the cabinets, so you figured you would've picked something up on your way home. You'd feel like hell, but...

It was better than dealing with your situation.

Maybe... Maybe you could apologize to Sans later, when you felt like more of yourself. This wasn't a very good time to talk to him. At all.

You walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room, your headache less severe but still pounding in the back of your head.

What time was it? Your phone was out of battery and it wasn't like you thought of bringing your charger. It was most likely before Papyrus had to go to work, whenever that was. Considering he worked at a cafe, it was probably early.

Maybe you should leave a note to Papyrus and Sans, telling them thank you or something. Did Papyrus know you were over? Like hell you were supposed to know.

You sighed, I'll just send Papyrus a text once I get home.

Your old combat boots were right beside the worn out couch. It was odd, though, especially since you didn't remember taking them off last night. You laced them up, trying to calm down your anxious nerves.

You felt like a jerk. Sans had really shown you nothing but kindness last night and all you did was push him away.

You pushed everyone away, both literally and figuratively. You just thought that... That these monsters could be the difference. Maybe you could benormal and have friends.

Maybe you were defective.

It's your fault, you know.

Taking a deep breath, you got up off the couch and headed towards the door. Last night felt so different, like an entire world that was so much happier. You wondered how you screwed it all just in a manner of hours.

You put your hand on the knob to turn it before you felt your blood freeze.

Someone called your name.

You turned around and tried to stop yourself from showing emotion.

"G-Good morning," you said quietly, "Sans."

Sans's expression killed you inside, looking more hurt than it had last night, "where you going?"

"I thought," you faked a smile, "I thought I'd just go home now. It's Sunday, right? Might be a good idea to get prepared for my work tomorrow."

"is undyne giving you a ride?" Sans's voice was uncharacteristic. It sounded so defeated, so rejected.

This is your fault.

You DID this to Sans.

"N-No," you didn't want to lie, "I was just going to take the subway. L-Like usual."

Sans sighed loudly, "hey, _, if this is about last night, i-"

"It's not a big deal," You didn't want to hear what he had to say, "I should get going now."

"hey," Sans's voice stopped you from moving, "let me take you home at least. paps wouldn't be happy to hear that i let our friend go home like this."

"besides," Sans shook his head, "i'm pretty sure you feel like shit. so do i."

You frowned, trying not to look him in the eye, "I'll be okay. I don't think you have a car, right? It's not a big deal..."

The air around you was tense, and you wanted to just disappear.

"do you wanna sit on the couch?" Sans headed off towards the bathroom, "i'll grab you an aspirin. please don't leave yet."

Your heart ached, but you didn't want to hurt Sans more than you already had that night. You sat back on the couch.

He came back a moment afterwards with a glass of water and some medication. The skeleton watched you as you chugged down the water and the pills.

Sans seemed relieved when he came back in the room.

"Thank you," you said shyly, holding the now empty glass tenderly.

"it's no big deal," Sans shrugged.

Although you still felt awful, the water helped. You felt like you didn't deserve a friend as nice as Sans.

"I should probably get going now," you trailed off, look at the skeleton to see what his reaction would be.

"lemme take you," Sans said again, "please."

You held onto the glass harder, wanting to shatter it like you did with everything else.

"Okay," you said finally, a huge lump in your throat.

Sans sighed audibly and his expression lightened up almost immediately. He told you to stand up and hold onto him.

You placed the glass tenderly on the table nearby.

At first, you were too confused and too hungover to really even begin to understand what the skeleton was doing. He told you not to worry and he embraced you again, although with a lot less emotion than he had last night.

"close your eyes," His voice sounded shaky.

You did as he asked without question and suddenly felt a ton of pressure on you. It was like someone was squeezing you for dear life. You opened up your eyes.

"Oh my god," you let out shyly.

You stood in the middle of your messy apartment. It smelt like usual, dirty clothes with fruity perfume. You needed to clean, really.

Sans let go of you and stood away.

"How did you do that?" your voice sounded shy.

"monster techniques," Sans smiled softly, "i'll have to show it to you some other time."

"Okay," you said, not wanting to say anything serious, "Thank you, I guess. It probably would've taken me a lot longer to get home."

Sans held to you your phone. Must've forgotten it on the couch. You awkwardly grabbed it back from him, your fingers grazing his for a moment.

You would've blushed, but instead you just felt a weird sense of shame.

"no problem," Sans said, "i should get going now too. don't wanna have paps wake up and i'm gone."

You nodded.

Sans sighed, "look, i'm really sorry about-"

"Don't be. It's fine."

"we need to talk about this at one point," Sans said seriously, "i'll text you later, okay?"

"Okay," you said passively.

You waved at Sans shyly as he teleported out of your small apartment complex.

You were alone now.

The aspirin had just barely kicked in, and your headache started to slowly disappear. You didn't want to think about anything.

Skip sad. You just felt numb.

You went back to your bedroom and stripped off your dirty outfit. You threw on some sweatpants and old shirt with it. You looked like garbage most likely, but you also felt like it too. You didn't want to see what you looked like, honestly, feeling like it would just make you feel worse.

You threw your hair back into it's natural state - a messy bun.

Screw everything right now.

You grabbed your phone and plugged it into the charger, hoping no one had texted you the night before. Knowing your luck, something important might've happened while you were messing up the only things that were good in your life.

It's your fault.

You're such an idiot.

I hate you.

Wanting to avoid your emotions, you grabbed your laptop and started scrolling through different websites. It didn't make you feel any better though. All it was old high school friends being happy and successful in their lives.

Like honestly. You felt like you had done absolutely nothing impactful in your life.

You owned a stupid old bookstore that you weren't even properly able to run. You couldn't talk to a freaking customer without freaking out. The only reason you kept it was because of mom, and she likely was shunning you right now - wherever she was.

I'm so fucking pathetic.

You got up and walked to the bathroom, pacing around the small area. Your breathing was frantic and you felt like you were beginning to go lightheaded.

Mom hates me, doesn't she? That's all I wanted was to make her and dad proud, but... I've done the exact opposite, haven't I? I've ruined my friendship with Sans and everyone else. I can't talk to anyone right. I'm so stupid, so stupid!

I wish I could be normal.

All I'll ever be is this failure. This socially awkward failure.

I can't even have a stupid crush on anyone without messing it up.

All I do is fail.

All I do is cry.

All I do is whine.  
All I do is take up space.

Why?

Why am I alive?

You caught your reflection in the mirror again.

Dark circles were underneath your eyes, and you looked like hell. You looked even worse than you had at Papyrus's. That trashy outfit you were wearing wasn't helping you feel any better either.

Your chest felt like it was beginning to collapse on itself.

You stared at yourself.

"You're such a failure!" You screamed, "I hate you so much!"

The mirror didn't say anything back, and instead your reflection looked just as awful as you did yourself. You took a deep, shaky breath and tried to get your head back on.

Nothing was going to work.

It's all your fault.

You brought your fist up and punched the mirror with all of your strength.

 **(a/n: i'm so sorry the chapters have been so heavy lately, but...**  
 **it gets worse until it gets better. ❤︎**

 **anyways! thank you all so much for everything. all the comments, kudos, and hits. you guys are so precious and i love you. i mean, 715+ kudos? that's insane! i wasn't expecting for nearly this amount of feedback and im literally speechless about it. ❤︎❤︎**

 **(also, i was thinking about starting another sans/reader fanfiction somewhat soon. what do you guys think about that?)**


	20. Let's Not

The familiar slam of the door swinging sprung you out of your thoughts, the bell chiming wild with sounds throughout the small store.

You sat in your typical place, wearing an old hoodie of your father's and your hair thrown haphazardly in a bun. You felt awful so you could hardly be bothered to even look decent. Oh well.

Undyne had her signature shit eating grin on and she looked like she had just gone off and won the lottery. She held a cardboard box in one of her hands.

She walked right up to you and punched your shoulder in a friendly manner, putting the box down right in front of you. Apparently Sans hadn't told her about the huge mistake you made...

You smiled shyly, feeling nervous. It reminded of you of how you felt when Undyne first walked in, except ten times worse.

"Yo, kiddo!" Undyne teased, sitting down right next to you. She put her feet up on the counter, "Some little skeleton told me you and Sans hit it off on Saturday! Did our plan work? Oh god, tell me it worked, my little nerd!"

You closed your book slowly, placing a receipt into it as a placeholder, "What's in the box?"

Undyne looked surprised, before smirking, "Tryin' to avoid my questions? Alright, alright. I'll ask about it in a second."

"Someone from the Underground, name's Muffet, started a bakery over here - like on this street. She's a little odd, a little greedy, but still kind," Undyne snorted, "I got us some spider doughnuts."

You watched as she opened up the box. Inside were two little doughnuts with purple frosting, decorated with small plastic spiders. Well, you hoped they were spiders.

"I'm not hungry," you muttered, feeling bad, "Thank you though."

Undyne raised an eyebrow, closing the box again, "You okay? Did something happen between you and Sans?"

"No," you lied, knowing that you sounded very unconvincing.

"_," Undyne seemed disheartened, and she patted your shoulder in an affectionate manner, "Look. We're friends. You can tell me if anything's wrong."

"I know," you cut her off, not wanting to have this conversation. Not today, not right now, "Undyne, it's just..."

"Did Sans say anything to you?" She furrowed her eyebrows, looking angry, "I'll rip that skeleton's bones off one by one if he did anything to hurt you."

You looked at her for a moment and shook your head, "He didn't... Do anything. Look, I just don't want to talk about it."

"Was it the vodka I gave you guys?" Undyne pushed, "Wasn't sure if it was a great idea. Alphys and I had seen it some anime so we thought for sure it'd work! I just want to know what happened."

"I don't feel like it..." Your heart ached.

Undyne kept pushing, "Sans seemed like a cool guy, but... OH MY GOD, DID YOU GUYS MAKE OUT AND JUST ARE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT? THAT WOULD BE TOO CUTE."  
You felt sweat run down your back, "Undyne, this isn't the time..."

"YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED RIGHT NOW," Undyne jumped up from her chair and walked to the other side of the counter. She slammed her fist on it and tried to look you right in the eyes.

You avoided her looks, "..."

"_, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Undyne practically squealed.

"I don't feel like talking about it, okay?" Your voice was too loud, too cruel. You could've sworn you saw Undyne flinch at your raised tone.

"Wow, dude, alright," Undyne pretended to be fine, "Guess something bad happened, you should tell me."

"Undyne," your pleaded, "I. Really. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It."

Undyne rolled her eyes, oblivious to your feelings, "I'll keep asking and guessing until you tell me. It might be a better idea just to fess up right now, huh?"

You dug your fingers into your palms and sat up, staring her right in the eye, "When I say I don't want to talk about it, I really don't want to talk about it! It isn't your business what I do, and I don't have to tell you anything!"  
"Are you really going to talk like that to _me_?" Undyne seemed deadly serious, "I'm sorry if Sans didn't like you back, I'll kick his ass for it, but you don't have to vent out your frustration on me."

"It doesn't matter if he does or not, that's not the point of it!" You ran a finger through your hair, frustrated, "Just leave me alone, alright?"

Undyne paused, staring at you, "What happened to your hand?"

You were surprised by her words and went to go stare at it. Your hand was bandaged messily and unprofessionally, being too tight in some places and too loose in others. Blood was starting to show up within all the white, however, and you figured some of the cuts must've ripped open again.

If it hurt, you didn't show it.

"Undyne," you were too angry at everything, mainly yourself, to think rationally. You didn't notice the pained look in her eye, or the unreasonable calm attitude she had despite of it all, "I know you like being in everyone's business all the time, but I don't want to talk to you! I knew it was a bad idea to hire someone here, I don't understand what went through my head when I accepted!"

Undyne took a deep breath, "Look. Whatever happened, it's not my fault. Can I see your hand? You're bleeding."

You didn't even comprehend her words, "Why do you even _care_? It's not like we're friends!"

Undyne flinched, "I'm sorry about what happened between you and Sans! But you shouldn't get pissed at me, especially since I'm trying to be here for you! You literally called me your best friend a week ago. But now since everything's gone to shit, you need to find someone to blame besides yourself, huh?"

You looked at her, "I'm blaming no one besides myself, Undyne, so don't tell me what I do or don't do!"

"_, you are so full of it!" Undyne was angry now, and it was your fault, "I get that you have these problems. I fucking _get_ it. Alphys is diagnosed with anxiety issues, so she tries to explain to me how she feels! I haven't pushed you that much about it because I was hoping you'd talk to me, or at least someone!"

"Are you saying you think there's something wrong with me?" you whispered, not wanting her to say the words you'd known since elementary school - when the boys teased you and the girls shunned you. The words you had known since that one doctor asked if you had been put on _medication._

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you," Undyne said comfortingly, "I think you need help though. And we're here for you. At least me and Alphys always are. Sans is an idiot if he did anything to make you upset."

"But you shouldn't get mad at me for whatever happened, okay? I hope you think we're friends, _," Undyne sounded quiet, "I've really liked working here and meeting you. I'm sorry I pushed you about Sans too. I thought you were being shy. Can I see your hand?"

You placed it in front of her's, feeling it shake like crazy. You tried to make it stop, but you could hardly feel yourself breathing.

She grabbed it softly and started checking out the damage you had done, "What did you do?"

"I punched my mirror," you admitted softly.

She unwrapped the bandage carefully, "Hardcore, dude."

You laughed softly, in spite of it all.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you," you said softly as Undyne looked at your raw and bleeding hand.

"It's fine," Undyne shook her head, "You really hurt yourself, huh?"

"I've dealt with worse," you admitted, "You don't have to help me."

"I've seen worse in the Underground. Had to help some of the royal guard when they tripped or got too rough fighting," Undyne grabbed a tissue and starting patting down the heavily bleeding areas, "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not," you didn't lie.

Undyne took a deep breath, "I know you're not."

"Does everyone know?"

"Sans does."

"Do you know if he hates me?"

Undyne stopped and stared at you, "Why would he hate you?"

"We," you paused, "I kissed him after we both had drank a lot and... It got really heavy and I pushed him away and the look on his face was the worst and I-"

"Stop," Undyne interrupted, "Did you feel uncomfortable?"

"Kind of."

"Then you're fine. Sans seems like he would understand this type of situation," Undyne consoled, wrapping the bandage around your hand more professionally this time, "You two were both drunk, huh?"

You nodded.

"You two should talk about this."

"But I really messed up, Undyne, I don't think he'd want to."

Undyne sighed, "Do whatever makes you feel right, but please - talk to him at one point. You'll regret it if you don't."

Undyne gave you back your hand, which was bleeding through significantly less.

"I don't deserve a friend like you," you said shyly.

She shook her head, "We all have our bad times."

"Look, I get that it's hard," Undyne put her hand to her hip, "But stay strong for us, okay? Asgore needs us back in the Underground in a week or so and..."

"I think you should take a break," Undyne admitted shyly, "I sound like a boss, but... For the next few days, will you just stay at home? I'll work here for a while. I don't want to be payed for it either. Just... Please. Text me or Alphys, or even Sans, because we're all here for you."

"I can work-"

"You punched a goddamn mirror. Hardcore, but stupid as hell."

Undyne went over the counter to embrace you, squeezing you hard.

"You're my best friend. My stupid friend who thinks about shit way too much," Undyne scoffed, "But a friend nonetheless. This is something I'll do for you and you have no choice but to accept. Take the rest of the week off."

"I really can't pay you for this."

"Don't even," Undyne slowly let go of you, "At least, please take the rest of the week off. We can talk more later, just let yourself rest for a while."

You looked at her and shook your head, "I really don't deserve you, especially since I was just being such a jerk to you."

Undyne smiled softly, "I can be a bitch too, so it's fine. Text me your address so Alphys and I can bring you some cookies tonight."


	21. Too Many Maybes

_The Sansmaster: hey kiddo, u okay?_

 _The Sansmaster: look, im really sorry about the other night_

 _The Sansmaster: i know i screwed up_

 _The Sansmaster: please give me a chance to talk to you_

 _The Sansmaster: you've been a good friend and i_

 _The Sansmaster: just please text me back_

 _The Sansmaster: please._

 _You've changed the name of the contact "The Sansmaster" to "Sans"._

* * *

Undyne and Alphys brought cookies over after work. You had left an hour after Undyne had impulsively made you take a week break. You knew that it wasn't a great idea, especially the way you were feeling, but she somehow made you agree. You trusted Undyne with the store but you still couldn't help feeling uneasy everytime you weren't at the bookstore.

The cookies laid untouched.

You hardly showered and couldn't be bothered to get out of your apartment. Apparently, you were on a break so why not just act like it? A break meant getting out of your house and go on dates or hang with friends. A break meant sitting down on the couch and watching seasons of your favorite shows.

A break for you, however, meant laying down on your bed and feeling like garbage.

You honestly had no idea how you felt. You felt awful, yeah, but you weren't sure if you were sad or angry or whatever. That was the worst part of it all. You felt _numb._

You felt your phone ring for the tenth time that morning and you groaned. You really didn't want to talk to anyone. Especially Sans.

You really messed up that time.

Despite your better senses, you grabbed your phone and looked to see who messaged you. Well, shit, actually. It wasn't even morning anymore, you had wasted almost half of the day in bed doing nothing productive. Maybe you should take a shower. Maybe not.

 _THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER UNDYNE: Yo. How's your break?_

You took a deep breath, feeling like a total jerk. What did it really say about you when you were happy a good friend didn't message you? Where you really as nice as some people said you were? Honestly, what had Sans even done to you?

 __: It's okay. How's the bookstore?_

 _THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER UNDYNE: It's been slow, oh god! I miss you here but, no, that doesn't give you permission to come back yet. YOU SAID UNTIL NEXT MONDAY DON'T FORGET._

 __: I won't. Register giving you problems?_

 _THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER UNDYNE: No, haha, you're so funny. Has Sans texted you?_

 __: Why?_

 _THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER UNDYNE: I was wondering. He called me and asked to talk to you earlier but you're not here, so._

 __: Alright._

 _THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER UNDYNE: Need me to kick his bony ass?_

 __: No, no. Please don't, actually. If you talk to him, just tell him that I'm not feeling well._

 _THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER UNDYNE: Are you okay?_

 __: I'm fine. Have a good day at work. I'll see you later._

You threw your phone away from you, not wanting to see whatever Undyne had to say next. You heard it buzz again, but whatever.

Did Sans hate you? You kept wanting to know the answer, but maybe you actually didn't. If he didn't hate you right now, he'd hate you sooner than later. He'd leave just like everyone else and-

Stop.

It's not worth it to dwell on it.

Sans said he liked you, right? It likely wasn't just a drunk thing to say, you knew Sans. Kind of. It'd been like one or two months ago when you met him.

Wait.

Only a month or two ago? What the heck? It felt like a lifetime.

Whatever. It felt nice, it felt okay, you felt okay. If you could say you were okay, then that must've meant something good. Maybe you didn't mess it up awfully, you were uncomfortable after all. Sans was a good enough person to understand boundaries and he probably had his own as well. Maybe you just overreacted.

You wanted to believe these things, you truly did.

It just was that you couldn't.

You knew that those things were true and you knew that it was just whatever was wrong with you made these thoughts go through your head.

You just wanted to get better.

Maybe you should go talk to a professional again, try get your head on straight. You remembered talking to mom about it, about _this_ , at one point. She took you to the doctor and they recommended you some pills. Crazy pills, you were sure. You hadn't wanted your happiness to be reliant on some magic medicine.

But...

Maybe you'd feel better if you just tried it.

Maybe you could act normal.

Would it be like the vodka? Would you feel in control again?

What would dad even think?  
What would the monsters think?  
What would _Sans_ think?

* * *

You remembered a doctor with dirty glasses and a bald spot in the middle of his scalp. He seemed like he thought he was better than you and everyone else in the hospital. He held a scuffed up clipboard in his hand and the other one carried a chewed up mechanical pencil.

The attitude he had towards you seemed like he just _knew_ you were crazy.

Mom and dad waited outside the room, in the waiting area. This was a visit for you and only for you.

You were fourteen at the time.

"Have you had feelings of suicide or of hurting yourself?"

"I-I, uhm... A little bit."

"Would you mind talking more about it?"

"I just... I just have a really bad time with people and I feel really sad a lot of the time. I don't really want to die or anything, but sometimes it just seems easier to do that than to deal with. Like. Life."

"Do you have a plan?"

"No, no! Of course not. I couldn't... I couldn't do that to mom or dad."

"Do you experience feelings of anxiety or dread on a daily basis?"  
"Yeah," you breathed, "My heart hurts and it feels like I'm lightheaded. My hands get real sweaty and I wipe them against my jeans all the time."

"Did you know you're doing that right now?"

"Oh, I am?" You checked yourself, and sure enough you were, "Is that bad?"

"It's a telltale sign of anxiety, especially if you do it as often as you say," The doctor shook his head, "It's a good way to tell if you're feeling anxious."

The doctor sighed, "You said you experienced feelings of sadness often. How would you describe that?"

"I just feel... Awful sometimes. Like it's hard for me to get out of bed and sometimes... It hurts to breathe. Like it's just not worth it anymore or that my body just wants to not react well, I suppose," you huffed out.

"_," the doctor sounded serious, "I believe you might have problems with depression and anxiety."

"Depression? Anxiety? I just thought this was stupid things teenagers go through."

"No. This sounds serious. I'll be prescribing you some anxiety medication along with antidepressants. I want you and your parents to come visit me once every month, along with a counselor."

"A counselor? So I'm some type of crazy person?"

"You're not crazy, Ms. _. You have a mental illness, but it is like diabetes or cancer. Would you feel like you're crazy if you had diabetes?"

"No, of course not, but this is different. I'm fourteen, I don't need something stupid like pills to make me happy. I just need..."

"What do you need, _?"

You took a second and stared at him.

"I just need to be _happy._ "

"These pills can help. It is just a chemical imbalance within your brain, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Remember to take them daily, I'll go grab your parents so we can talk over it more."

You sat there in silence, watching him leave the room.

All you had going through your head was how much you didn't want to take these pills. What would your friends say and what would your crush say if they found out? Would they shun you?

Maybe you shouldn't take them.

Dad would have something to say, he's always against medical stupidities like this. Yeah, yeah! Dad wouldn't let you take some goddamn pills, even if mom was totally for it. But mom was weird. Dad would... Dad had to say something against it.

Sooner than you would've wanted, mom and dad walked into the room. Their faces were full of worry and mom embraced you warmly like she always did. She smelled like vanilla.

She sounded distressed, "Oh, honey. The doctor told us a little about what happened. I love you, darling, you're gonna be okay. Me and your father will do anything we can to make sure you're going to be okay."

Dad looked nervous, "We love you, _."

Mom held on to your hand and squeezed hard, sitting next to you. There wasn't enough chairs for dad to sit, so he ruffled your hair lovingly.

"I'm prescribing your daughter Xanax and Zoloft. I want her to take it daily and you all need to report to me incase anything drastic happens."

Dad didn't say anything.

 _Dad, please. Don't make me take these stupid pills, I don't want to. I have to be normal, I want to be normal, this isn't normal!_

"Thank you, doctor," Mom said, grabbing the papers from the slimy doctor, "We'll do anything to help my baby girl."

You three left and got ice cream afterwards. Mom never let go of your hand and kept repeating how much she loved you and how strong you were. She filled out your prescriptions and told you to take your pills right before you went to bed.

You never did, however.

The pills were all swallowed up by the toilet or crushed into the trash can. You wouldn't allow yourself to take them, in fear of turning even worse than you already were. Crazy people are prescribed pills, but only insane people would take them.

At least, that's what you said to yourself to justify your actions.

Maybe that was the reason why you were so messed up nowadays.

* * *

Your phone was buzzing like crazy, bringing you out of your thoughts.

You really still didn't want to look at it, but maybe it'd be a good idea. There was so many maybes going on in your head, but you should stop that. Maybe wasn't going to do anything for you, neither was sitting around and feeling bad for yourself.

 _Sans: i hope u feel better_

 _Sans: undyne told me you weren't at the bookstore_

 _Sans: i just need to tell you that what happened when we were drinking wasn't fake. at least, what i said wasn't fake._

 _Sans: can we talk soon?_

Sans's confession wasn't just a drunken haze. He liked you and you liked him back.

Oh my god.

That was an amazing thing to realize, but...

A relationship?

Sans was the nicest person you've ever met, really, and he was really funny and great and just Sans. You really liked him, but it wasn't... It wasn't a good time for you to head straight first into a serious relationship, you knew that.

If you really liked Sans...

The best thing to do would be getting your head on straight, for both of you.

And if he respected you, Sans would be okay with that too. He's a really good friend and, hell, maybe you're just an idiot for thinking things over and over again like that.

You felt like you caused a lot of drama for nothing.

But maybe Sans felt bad, maybe he felt bad because he wasn't quite sure what to do. Maybe you two were the same - two awkward and clumsy idiots that just so happened to like each other.

And if it didn't work out...

That'd be okay.

All you cared about was Sans and your relationship anyways, romantic or not. As long as you guys were friends, wasn't that be what matters?

You took a deep breath and pushed your anxiety to the side, the anxiety that was screaming that you were an idiot and a fool. Just today... Just today you could find a semblance of being okay.

You and Sans still needed to talk, face to face, about what happened.

And so, that's exactly what you planned to do.

 __: Are you free tomorrow?_


	22. Preventative Phone Breaking

"Sans," Undyne huffed, "_ isn't here today. I made her take the week off."

"do you know if she's mad at me?" Sans said quietly, not really wanting the fish monster to hear his words.  
Undyne made a sound of surprise, "I don't think she is. It's not my job to tell you how she thinks, y'know? Try talking to her."

"but i have-"

"Then wait until she messages you back, bonehead. Didn't you know that girls hate when boys seem desperate?"

"..."

Undyne sighed, "I don't think I've ever seen you so upset about anything. What the hell happened?"

"i messed up," Sans said, "i did something really bad."

"Oh my GOD," The slap of Undyne hitting her forehead could be heard, "I'm not _ and your relationship counselor. You two need to talk to each other at one point. I can try to _help_ your cause, but I'm not going to be able to fix it. You know that, right?"

"uh-huh."

"If you messed up that badly, _ wouldn't want to talk about you to literally anyone," Undyne said bluntly, "But she's the one who told me she screwed up somehow. SO MAYBE. Instead of talking to me, you should be talking to _her._ "

"she thinks she screwed up?"

Shuffling sounds could be heard in the background, "You know her. Always thinks everything is her fault."

"I have to go, Sans, I'm watching the bookstore for the week. Just try to talk to her, she's having a bad time with this whole situation - just like you. Talk to you later."

"thanks, undyne. see ya."

Sans hung up the phone and prevented himself from throwing it at the wall. Undyne was real helpful, yeah, just telling him stuff he already knew.

God, he had really messed up this time.

Sans was typically easy-going and relaxed when it came to most things. He dealt with Papyrus on a daily basis (which wasn't bad, of course not. just exhausting) for heaven's sake. His job wasn't some run of the mill hot dog stand anymore, he worked with Alphys on human sciences. Like that wasn't some job you could stand around and have idle chit chat with co-workers.

He was as he was. It made him Sans. And, honestly, it was one of the few things he liked about himself.

Except for now.

All that relaxed nature went away almost instantaneously when he was around you.

His soul felt like it was running a goddamn marathon. (Were human souls different? What color was your soul?) Sometimes he even felt like he was going to vomit out of anxiousness around you. You weren't like most of the other humans he had met - you were caring and thoughtful and you genuinely cared about people whether they were human or monster.

It was a damn good change.

He remembered when he had first met you, when you dropped that stupid ketchup bottle. Sans realized you were trying to help him at first but he wasn't quite sure if your intentions were malicious or not. He'd heard horror stories about humans doing kind things for monsters to only throw that same thing back into their faces.

When you dropped that bottle, he didn't really know what to say.

So, like Sans's typical nature, he got ready to say a stupid pun about it.

The look on your face was in sheer terror and you looked ready to cry. You apologized profusely, something humans really never did when they were in the company of monsters.

Sans realized you were probably a good egg after that day.

He laughed bitterly when thinking about all of that. Although you were genuinely kind-natured, it would make sense if you weren't interested in... Well, a skeleton for god's sake. You had so much potential and probably were a heartbreaker to a lot of people unknowingly. (For Sans).

You said you liked him, but Sans wasn't so sure. He had said stupid stuff when he was drunk, he wouldn't blame you if you did the same.

Sans felt his cheeks heat up and he buried his face into his pillow, sighing loudly.

He got to kiss you though, that was pretty awesome.

For hell's sake, he felt like he was just a little baby bones again. You made him feel like an anxious little kid. He stumbled on his words around you, something he had even made a point to not do anymore. Sans felt sweaty and anxious in your presence, but never in a bad way. Never, never in a bad way.

And here he went, messing up your relationship to the point where you did even want to talk to him again.

 _Good job, Sans, you've fucked it all up again._

Honestly, all Sans wanted to do that day was sit on his bed and feel like garbage. He had done it enough times in Snowdin; what was the difference doing it here?

Sans's door swung open before he had time to answer the question, "SANS, YOU LAZY BONES, IT IS TIME TO GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING!"

The answer: Papyrus was the difference.

"hey, paps," Sans sat up, stretching his bones, "what's up?"  
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT IS UP," Papyrus crossed his arms together, "DON'T YOU HAVE WORK TODAY?"

Sans shook his head, "nah, bro. i had today off."

"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE? MAYBE YOU COULD START WITH THIS PILE OF DIRTY SOCKS RIGHT THERE," Papyrus hinted towards his dirty sock collection.

"yeah, maybe," Sans lied, "do you have work today?"

"I ACTUALLY DO! MY BOSS REALLY LIKES HAVING ME THERE!" Papyrus seemed elated, "SHE'S THINKING ABOUT HIRING ME FULL-TIME!"

Sans was happy for his brother, "really? that's awesome, paps."

"THANK YOU, MY DEAR BROTHER!" Papyrus said, "I LIKE MY JOB TOO! I GET TO SEE THE TALL HUMAN ONCE IN AWHILE AS WELL!"

"tall human?"

Papyrus rolled his eyes dramatically, "_, YOU BONEHEAD!"

Sans chuckled softly, "paps, you just-"

"I KNOW AND I HATE YOU FOR IT!" Papyrus threw his hands up in the air and walked away in anger(?).

Sans smiled softly and got up from his bed, catching up to Papyrus.

Papyrus was already in the living room, grabbing his keys and other miscellaneous things.

"have a good day at work, paps," Sans said, lying down on the couch, "see you later?"  
"GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, SANS," Papyrus smiled at his brother, "THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL SEE YOU LATER THOUGH!"

Papyrus waved at Sans and practically ran out of the house, forgetting to close the door behind him. Sans sighed and moved his hand to the side, magically slamming the door closed.

Papyrus would've yelled at him for it.

Sans sighed loudly, a bit ungrateful that Papyrus was gone. At the very least, he was being a distraction to Sans's awful thoughts.

The small skeleton sighed and trucked back up to his room, trying not to use his teleportation powers unless the situation called for it. This obviously wasn't the right situation. Although, it was quite tempting...

Sans threw his blankets back on and curled up into a ball. He was acting like a little kid today but he couldn't be bothered to really care. He could've asked Papyrus to make him something for lunch before he left, but he didn't! So, at least, he was winning grown up points with himself.

He noticed his phone light was blinking and his breathing hitched.

He stared at the light for a moment, trying to collect himself. Sans likely stared at the phone for a good minute before realizing what he was doing.

The phone was cold in his hand and he held it loosely in front of him.

It dropped onto his ribs.

Thank god he was wearing a shirt today, it would've been a mess if his phone got caught in his ribs again. That was an experience he didn't want to live through ever. Again.

He grabbed it again and turned it on, hating that anxious feeling he got whenever something involved you. Because holy shit, why couldn't he just act calm?

 _Alphys_ : _hey u coming 2 work?_

Sans groaned.

He didn't mind Alphys, not in the least. She was fun to work with. He just... He just wanted a text from _you._ He always wanted to talk to you. This time in particular because, hell, he really messed up. He messed up _big._

 _Sans: no, i took the day off. i'll see you on sunday?_

 _Alphys: today's going to b boring then. gerson's sick. :c_

 _Sans: you'll live._

 _Alphys: see you sunday sans. have a good weekend!_

 _Sans: yeah, you too._

Sans knew he sounded kind of like a dick, and with Alphys being Alphys he'd have to apologize to her later for being rude, but he couldn't find himself caring.

He sighed and turned his phone screen back off.

Maybe he was just a fool. A fool for thinking that a beautiful, adorable human would fall for a skeleton-

The phone buzzed in his hand again.

 _Bookworm: Are you free tomorrow?_

Sans froze.

 _Sans: yeah, yeah! oh god, i'm just so happy you messaged me back._

 _Bookworm: Do you want to hang out?_

 _Sans: i would love to._

 _Bookworm: I don't really know where you like to go to, so, um. Maybe we can meet at that diner we went to?_

 _Sans: that sounds great. what time, i'm free all day._

 _Bookworm: Alright, maybe noon or something... I don't really know._

 _Sans: that's fine, that's great actually. i hope they'll have enough ketchup for me._

 _Bookworm: I don't think anyone or anything could satisfy your addiction._

Sans laughed in pure relief.

 _Sans: so tomorrow?_

 _Bookworm: Tomorrow._

 _Bookworm: I'm already excited haha. I've missed texting you._

 _Bookworm: See you tomorrow!_

 _Sans: see you later then._

 _Bookworm: See you later, Sansy!_

Oh god, oh god, oh dear god.

You weren't mad at him, you weren't mad at him! Sans felt relief fill his every bone as he took a deep, shaky breath. You both were going to hang out tomorrow and everything would be okay again. It didn't matter if you didn't really like Sans, that wasn't the point. The point was that you'd both be friends still and that's all that really mattered to him.

Oh sweet fucking everything.

Sans laughed to himself, likely sounding insane to anyone that didn't know was going on. (Sounding insane to anyone who did actually know what was going on). He just felt so relieved. It was odd; a human made him feel more things than he had in a long, long time. He was so grateful towards you, he didn't even know why.

Sans felt himself turn back into a little baby bones. And honestly, he couldn't be bothered to care.


	23. Wet Hair

Warm water splashed on your back, almost to the point where you couldn't handle the heat. After days of being unproductive and lazy with everything, it was nice to at least feel clean again. The productivity could come later in the day.

You were running out of shampoo.

You tried not to think about anything but... Showers were the perfect place for thinking. It wasn't like you could've really avoided it. Maybe a bath would've felt nicer, but a shower would've made you felt cleaner at least.

Sans seemed so relieved that you had messaged him back. You honestly felt awful about your actions. You were just being silly, weren't you? To worry that Sans, of all people, would dislike you...

Maybe...

 _No more maybes, _._

Both of you had to agreed to meet at that diner in an hour or so. Your stomach felt twisted up into knots (Screw butterflies, it felt like there was a wasp hive in there!) and you wanted to pass out.

Stupid nerves, stupid feelings, stupid everything.

 _Just calm down!_

Saying that never really helped you, but oh well.

You slowly peeled yourself out of the shower, feeling clean and warm for once. Ah, was the reason people died in the shower was because they didn't want to get out of the heat?

Wow.

That was dark.

Now it was positive that you weren't in the greatest of moods.

But screw it, no matter what you were going to apologize to Sans for acting like a child. You shouldn't have ignored him.

There was a lot of things you shouldn't have done, but this wasn't the mood for thinking about them.

You went back into your room and put on some clothes. There wasn't much clean except for a slightly used pair of jeans ripped at the knees and a shirt that said _"OK, BUT FIRST COFFEE."_ You smiled to yourself when grabbing the shirt, you'd forgot that an old friend had bought it for you.

When was the last time you wore a shirt outside of this house?

That sounded so odd, but...

You typically wore a hoodie or a sweater when going somewhere, even if it was somewhere fancy.

First time for everything?

First time for _arms_.

You snickered despite yourself.

God.

You were so weird.

Although you had a little while before having to head out, you were all completely dressed and ready to go. Your hair was still quite wet, so you'd just throw it back up into a ponytail before you left.

Baby steps. You could slowly ease out of your hairband addiction after you got out of your sweater addiction. Never out of coffee though, that'd stay with you for your whole life.

Honestly? Coffee was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

Well... Except for one thing.

You felt yourself blush and shook your head wildly, even though you were all alone.

You went to go throw yourself on the couch and watch something random on the television, but then you heard a knock. A slow, careful, and somewhat drawn out knock.

It probably was Emily asking you if you'd like to come over for tea or something. She was kind that way, even though you'd typically declined her offers. It was likely she kept asking you because she was lonely, as you had heard Will comment one time that she had moved to the city with no family or friends around. You should go talk to her one day, maybe you could make her feel more at home here.

...

Slowly getting out of your shell.

That's what mattered.

You thought back to just months ago, right before Undyne started working at the bookstore. At that point, you were sheltered off from the world and you had liked it that way. Your only friend was your dad (Okay, maybe one or two acquaintances... You loved your dad, sure, but your life wasn't exactly that lonely.) and you stuttered whenever someone asked for the price of a book.

Wasn't the greatest idea to accept that bookstore, but you still loved it. Nothing could really change that.

The more you grew to know Undyne and Sans and all the other monsters, the more you realized how much more outgoing you were becoming. Sure, you'd never become some public speaker but at least you could have a conversation with someone without freaking out mentally. You honestly thanked everything that she had became your friend, that they all had.

...You weren't quite sure where you'd be without them.

 _Knock, knock._

You went over to the door, drawn out of your thoughts.

Despite yourself, you muttered quietly, "Who's there?"

"a door."

"A door who?"  
"..." A pause, "you're adoorable."

You felt your face flush bright red as you slowly peeled open the door.

And there he was. Sans, with the brightest blue color on his face, standing there shuffling awkwardly. He seemed too shy to look you in the eyes.

You bit your cheek, "H-hi, oh dear... I wasn't expecting to see you until later, I don't even have shoes on..."

Sans looked up at you and smiled awkwardly, "guess i'm not pun-ctual."

You laughed a little bit, not sure of what to say, "Would you like to come in?"

Sans nodded and as he came in you shut the door behind him. You went to go sit on the couch and the skeleton quickly followed suit.

You grabbed a pair of shoes and started tying them in loose knots, not wanting to make Sans wait. Heaven knows how much he needed his ketchup...

You heard Sans chuckle.

"what can i say? i love the stuff."

The blood rushed to your cheeks all over again, "Oh my god, did I say that outloud? I'm so sorry."

"it's fine, it's fine," Sans seemed to be relaxed, and you wondered how he did it. Compared to him, you were an anxious ball of rubber bands.

That was an odd analogy and you knew it.

A few more moments passed with awkward silence, neither of you dared to say anything.

You finished tying your shoes, "Are you ready to go?"

Sans paused, "i... i don't really know how to bring this up."

 _Oh god._ "Just say anything you want to, don't be nervous."

"i came over a l'il bit early so we could talk," Sans shrugged, "i thought it might be a good idea to talk about... _this._ in private, y'know?"

You nodded, starting to sweat, "Y-yeah."

Sans stared at you and shook his head slowly, "it's really good to talk to you again. i didn't realize how much i would miss you."

You blinked, "I-I agree... I'm really sorry, Sans, it's just that I-"

"before you say anything," Sans noticed you had your mouth open, "sorry i cut you off, but. can i try to explain everything to you?"

You closed your mouth and nodded.

"i'm so, so sorry about the other night," Sans's voice had an edge of sorrow to it, and you just wanted to hug him and apologize yourself. He did nothing wrong, "we were both really drunk... and... i guess that's not a good excuse, huh? that's actually a really shit excuse."

"s'okay, um," Sans's face went to that familiar blue hue, "if i say this, you have to promise nothin' will change between us. it's okay if you don't feel the same way, you're just... you're one of my best friends, alright? i don't want things to change, y'know?"

You nodded slowly, feeling warmed by his thoughts of you, "Don't worry about anything, Sansy. You've been a really good friend to me as well. I wouldn't want to lose you, especially because I... I almost just did, because of my stupidity."

"you're not stupid," Sans quickly reassured, "you're so smart, like. one of the smartest people i know."

You giggled, not saying anything in response.

Sans must've took this as a good sign, "look, kiddo- i mean _. i. i like you? i've liked you for a really long time now, so... that night was something that i had wanted for a really long time, i guess. it wasn't right of me to push you like that, hell no. i should've realized you were uncomfortable and considering you were just so sad earlier and i."

"i'm really sorry about it all," Sans huffed out, looking towards the ground, "i know i messed up really bad. and i just. i just have to thank you that you're still willing to be my friend."

You blinked a few times, not quite sure if your ears were hearing it all correctly.

"so anyways, that was my whole thing and i'm so sorry because i know i messed up and i was so worried that you wouldn't want to be friends anymore and i'm sorry i sent you so many texts. and i'm so, so sorry about that night because i screwed up and i'm willing to not bring it up again if you don't want to either. i'm rambling now, aren't i?"

"Sans," you went to go sit by him and embraced him warmly, obviously surprising him with your movements, "Don't be sorry. I ignored you, and as a good friend, that was really rude of me. I felt so nervous that I had done something to upset you, especially since... Since I likely hurt you, pushing you away like that. None of it was your fault, you... You couldn't have known that I would've acted like that. And for that, I'm sorry."

"But there's one thing I'm not sorry for," you whispered, quiet enough that only Sans and nothing else could hear, "And I'm not sorry for kissing you."

Sans turned and looked at you, not moving out of your embrace. You felt your heart beat a million miles all over again. Only Sans did this to you, that adorkable pun-loving nerd.

You smiled shyly.

He seemed not wanting to say anything, but the deep blue color showed all you needed to know.

"And I'm not sorry for liking you back either," you finally said, "An anxious loser like me likes a cute, dorky skeleton like you."

You felt too embarrassed to look him in the eyes anymore, deciding to rest your forehead on his shoulder. You didn't let go of his boney body the entire time.

"I hope I didn't just mess up again," you breathed out.

Neither of you moved again, and the room was filled with silence all over again. It wasn't too awkward this time, just extremely nerve-wracking for both of you.

You lifted your head up slowly to look at the small skeleton, and he was staring at you intensely. The blue from his cheeks was a smaller, dull color and he had a look of determination in his eyes.

"Sans-"

Before you could say anything else, Sans was kissing you.

Sans was kissing you?  
Holy hell.

Sans was kissing you! 

You were both stone cold sober this time, and you could actually process what was going on. Oh dear, out of all the outcomes you expected for today - this was not even something that went through your goddamn brain. However, don't take that as you being ungrateful because this was sure as hell _fantastic._

(Sanstatic? He'd be proud of you for that one.)

Like before, he was boney and it wasn't like how you assumed kissing lips would be like. It was ten times better because it was _Sans._

He kissed you slowly, a lot more thought was brought into each of his movements than it had been the other night. He slowly wrapped his hands around your waist and kissed you deeply.

You weren't quite sure what to do with your hands or anything really, so you kept kissing him back as you put your arms behind his neck.

Oh holy hell, this was great. This was too good. This had to be a dream; was it a dream?

You felt Sans's hands dig a little deeper into your waist, hesitantly and with affection. This wasn't a dream, this was real and Sans was kissing you.

It didn't last as long as the first time had, as Sans eventually pulled away much to the distaste of your entire goddamn body. His face was as flushed as yours was and he looked at you with so much affection, you felt chills run down your spine.

"that..."

"was amazing."

You couldn't help but giggle softly, "If you like me back, does that mean I can kiss you more often?"  
Sans looked at you, pausing for a second. He then gave you one of his characteristic shit eating grins, "only if i can kiss _you_ more often."

"Deal?"

"deal."


	24. It'd Be Unfair

"Can I be honest to you about something?"

"go for it, kiddo."

You smiled, leaning into Sans's side as his arm wrapped around your shoulders. It smelt like his cologne, more prominent than the night of Papyrus's cooking lesson.

"I'm not really hungry," you shrugged.

Sans chuckled softly, "you aren't? not even for some ketchup?"

You shook your head.

"did you eat before i came?" Sans teased, "hungry for some bones?"

Your face heated up immediately and you buried your face into Sans's signature jacket. It was warm and fuzzy. It kind of reminded you of snuggling up in a blanket after it had just came out of the dryer. Except it smelt ten times better.

Giggling into Sans's jacket, you said something that you were almost completely sure the skeleton wouldn't understand.

He made a noise of confusion and you started laughing all over again.

You lifted your head up and smiled brightly, "You're such a dork, Sansy..."

Sans laughed again, his whole face turning into something quite amazing - it was like when people with dimples smiled or giggled, except it was Sans's. Naturally, it was ten times better.

"you're a nerd," Sans retorted jokingly, "a real bookworm."

You scoffed, "A bookworm? Not even a pun for that one?"

Sans shook his head and his smiled even wider, "nah, didn't have the funny bone for it."

You shook your head and snorted, "What am I going to do with you?"

"kiss me again?" Sans said bluntly, his face with a hint of blue to it.

"Oh my gosh, Sans," you laughed, "I honestly don't know what to say."

"you don't have to say anything," Sans squeezed your shoulders, "just sit here and let me enjoy how warm you are."

"the talking is just an added bonus. your voice is pretty cute, y'know?"

" _Sansy._ "

Sans and you sat there for a moment before he spoke up again, "do you wanna go grab something to eat, even if you aren't hungry? at least get out of your apartment?"

You smiled softly, "If you want to, then I'm okay with anything."

Sans snorted and ruffled your hair teasingly, "i get to show off that i'm with a cute human."

The blood went rushing to your face, "Sans, I-"

The skeleton stopped you for a second, holding his free hand up in the air. He pondered what he was about to say before speaking up again.

"now, look, _," Sans said hesitantly, "i-... um, shit, i don't know how to put this."

Your heart stopped.

"do you, like, maybe..."

"do you wanna go out?"

"Sansy?"

"i mean, it's okay if you say no and stuff. i get that it might not be the best time for it or anything, but... i really like you, kiddo, but it's alright if you said no."

"undyne kinda told me you were shit at refusing things."

You took a second to think about it.

You really, _really_ liked Sans. Never feeling like this before, you didn't want to give it up. Every molecule screamed in your body to say "Yes, yes!" but... It didn't seem right.

Although you hadn't really been in any sort of situation like this, and you even found yourself a bit touch-starved, saying yes to Sans would be... Unfair to him, in a way.

You weren't in any emotional capability to say yes to any sort of relationship romantic wise. The feelings you felt often... Weren't normal, at least weren't normal enough to be considered healthy.

If you truly wanted to make any relationship with Sans work, wouldn't it be better off in the long run if you tried to make yourself better? To work on yourself and the problems you clearly had?

Sans started to sweat, scared by your lack of answer.

You took a deep breath and sighed, "Sans, I really like you too, it's just..."

"I'm not okay, you know?" Oh god, were you going to have this talk _now_? Way to go you, for screwing up the mood, "I don't think I have been for a long time."

Sans looked at you, squeezing your shoulder in a comforting manner.

"I don't feel confident about myself, I feel anxious all the time, sometimes I have these really days where all I want to do is just," _Stop talking, fucking stop talking!_ "die."

Sans's eyesockets went wide and he opened his mouth to say something.

"I wouldn't ever do that to you or Undyne or Papyrus, or even my dad," you quickly reassured him, "It's just that... I don't think it'd be fair to you to go in a relationship where I'm obviously not healthy."

"If I'm not healthy enough to even take care of myself, I wouldn't be in a healthy relationship with anyone - whether if it was with your or not."

"I really like you, Sansy, more than I've ever liked anything in my entire life," you laughed awkwardly, "I just... If you still like me when I'm _normal_ , when I'm okay with myself, then I'd absolutely love to go out with you," You took a deep breath.

Sans didn't say anything for a moment, so your anxiety filled up your mouth, "I'm so sorry, I really just want to be in an okay place so I can really not worry you or even myself. I punched a mirror just the other day because I'm really stupid, you know?"

"you punched a mirror?" Sans inquired, looking scared.

You held up your bandaged hand shyly.

"why?"

"I don't know, that's the problem!" You hadn't talked about this with anyone before, really, even Undyne when she asked about it, "My brain is so messed up, and I can't really do anything about it sometimes. That's why I want to be okay, because I don't want to worry you with my stupid shit like this."

"you'll always worry me, whether we're dating or not," Sans shook his head, "you're my best friend, okay? it doesn't matter, we can... we can always go out sometime when you really want to, when you feel like it's okay."

"let's just worry about you, okay? i don't... i can't fucking think about you dying, okay? i just can't," Sans sounded so upset, so broken, "even if you said you'd hate me and never wanted to talk to me again - if you... if you, i can't even say it. just please, please tell me if you ever feel like that, or talk to someone."

"Sans," Your voice sounded broken, as it cracked when you spoke, "I won't, I promise."

Sans took a sharp inhale, "good, okay good. i... look, kiddo, i would wait a million years for you. i almost did, anyways." He chuckled, "and i'd wait a million more, just to know that we're okay - that you're okay. just promise we can still be friends, okay?"

You nodded, "I promise. I promise so much, Sans, I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you, I'm so sorry that I can't say yes right now."

"i understand," Sans nodded with you, "don't be sorry."

"Thank you so much," you felt tears of relief fill up your eyes, "I haven't had anyone say that to me before..."

Sans's hand went to rub your back as he embraced you warmly. Only a few tears actually came out, but the comfort of Sans was so wonderful that you didn't want to leave.

You laughed softly, "Can I still hug you?"

"even if i didn't like you," Sans chuckled, "you could always hug me. you give good hugs, kiddo."

"Can we still hang out?"

"'course we can, _."

"Can we still text?"

"you're being dorky. we can do everything that we did before, you know that?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know anything about dating or anything like that."

"neither do i, guess we'll find out together one day."

"I'm still sorry that I can't - I really, really want to, Sansy."

"it's okay, don't be sorry. have you seen a counselor before?"

"Maybe I should start going to one..."

"you're so important, just make sure you know that, okay?"

You nodded as Sans let go of you.

His face turned a hint of blue as he shifted eye contact, "guess that means no kissing, huh?"

You laughed softly, "I don't know, I really don't know how any of this works."

Sans chuckled, "neither do i?"

"We're such losers," You smiled softly.

"say that for yourself," the skeleton teased, "i'm pretty awesome."

"Awesomely dorky, right?"

"meh," Sans shrugged.

You laughed again, "Thank you for being so understanding."

"i know what you're going through, kiddo," Sans said quietly, "and i'll be here with you for every step of the way."


	25. Epiphany?

There was always a time for anything.

You hadn't really heard of a time for whatever _this_ was again.

Sans fell asleep on your couch, wrapped up like a burrito in that fuzzy pink blanket. His look was peaceful, serene. You wondered what he was dreaming about, that cute smile plastered hazily on his face.

It was one of those nights, and sleep avoided you like the plague. You kept replaying the day's events in your head over and over _and over_ again. Honestly, it felt like cycling in an exercise machine - you weren't going anywhere with this. Yet it wasn't like you could just stop, could you?

You bit your lip hard.

He kept reassuring you that it was okay, that you hadn't totally rejected him earlier. ( _Like seriously. Who makes out with someone, tell them they like them, and then say they aren't fit to date? An asshole, that's who.)_ Sans spaced himself away from you, only a few inches that still somehow felt a million miles away, and talked with you for a while.

Sans asked you typical, therapist type questions afterwards. Questions that would've been too personal, too close to home. But it was with Sans, he felt more like a home than your stupid bookstore did. ( _Don't tell him that, that sounds creepy...)_

Were you okay? (No.) How long have you felt like this? (Forever?) Have you ever tried to...? (Of course not.) Did your hand hurt? (A little, just if you moved it wrong.) Did you want to go see someone? (You should, it would just be hard.) You should really go see someone. (You know. It'd just be difficult.) Would you text him, or call him, if you ever felt bad? (You weren't sure, but you'd try. You told Sans that you would though.) Did you want to get something to eat? (Actually, yes. Your appetite had returned with a vengeance.)

You wondered how Sans really felt about it all. He was supportive as all hell, but your excuse sounded like such bullshit...(?) You were telling the truth, but you wished that you had something that sounded more realistic - something less _pathetic._ Sans deserved that at the very least, right?

The taste of copper started to overwhelm your thoughts.

You had cut your lip open.

Taking a deep breath, you wiped your arm against your lip. Sure enough, there was blood. You felt stupid, but it wasn't really worth it to beat yourself about it. There was too many things you could use against yourself already; why do it over something so dumb?

Precisely for the fact that it was stupid.

Was it really healthy for you to be thinking like this? Honestly. You had said what you've said for a reason, it wasn't for you to go back on everything you've said to him.

If you weren't going to get better for yourself, why not do it for Sans? (For your mom.) He obviously cared about you enough to spend the entire day with you. He must've realized that today was hard for you as well, hence why he was spending the night.

Maybe he was just a good person.

Or maybe he genuinely cared about you.

You hoped for the latter. (It was the latter.)

Your laptop stood on your beaten up coffee table, a YouTube video showing up on the screen - completed, showing suggestions for your next video. Sighing, you grabbed it and clicked out of the video, choosing to go to Google and search something.

 _Therapists near me._

Sans'd be proud of you. Hell. You were sure a lot of people would be proud of you for this. Undyne, Alphys, maybe even Toriel would be...

Without those monsters... You didn't even want to think about where you'd be. You were such a mess right now, how much of a mess were you before Undyne showed up?

You looked on a few different links and sent an email to a counselor who put on his page that he deals with anxieties. Maybe you weren't ill enough to be diagnosed with any true sort of disability, but you knew you weren't okay. You knew that you weren't going to fix this by yourself either.

When was the last time you were okay?

When was the last time you'd felt happy?

Alright, maybe that last one was stretching the truth a little bit. It wasn't like you weren't happy, far from it. Talking to Undyne and Sans made you happy. Reading made you happy. Learning small sign language from Frisk and Toriel made you happy. Papyrus's coffee and spaghetti made you happy. Thinking of mom and dad made you happy, although with a bittersweet edge to it.

All of these things made you happy. So why were you so sad?

All of these things made you happy, yes. But the happiness felt so thin and stretched out between all the moments that weren't.

 _This isn't okay, you know this. Just get it through your thick skull that you need help. You need help, okay? You. Need. It._

 _It isn't some bad stage you're dealing with. You've dealt with this for the last... However many years. This isn't some game you're playing; this is your life. Live it happily. Get help, smile again. Kiss Sans again, knowing that you're okay and that he's okay and that life isn't as bad as it seems._

Maybe that's why you rejected Sans.

It was something to make you kick into shape.

If you couldn't recover for yourself, why not do it for Sans? Why not do it for all the other monsters? You knew what the problem was and what the solutions were. It's science, as easy as that.

You wondered what Sans would think of your burst of motivation.

One day, if you kept at it... If you dealt with your issues normally, and you could actually talk to someone alone without wanting to cry... Maybe you could kiss Sans again, feeling like it was fair to both him and yourself.

Your heart felt like it was beating a million miles a minute.

This was it.

This is your time.

 _You don't have to hate yourself anymore._

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god.

You'd be okay, you'd be okay! You wouldn't have to feel sad for no reason, at least not as often. You could have a conversation with someone without feeling like they disliked you. You wouldn't have to feel like you were a disappointment, because you knew that you weren't! You could kiss Sans, you could kiss him in a multitude of different ways and he would like you back! You could like him without feeling guilty, without feeling any feelings that he might not like you back (Of course that was bullshit. You could tell he liked you just from the way he talked to you, that sound of softness in his voice.)

You could be okay.

"Oh my god," you said outloud softly, not wanting to wake up the skeleton, "Oh my god!"

"I'm going to be okay," you breathed, leaning into the soft material of your worn couch, "I'll be okay... It's going to be _okay._ "

It'll take a while, but you were going to recover. You don't have to feel sad anymore, _.

You hadn't noticed it, but tears were streaming down your face like a waterfall. You weren't sad, this was the happiest moment you'd felt in a long time. (Besides from kissing Sans. This day was turning out to be alright, wasn't it?)

You let out a small sob, sounding a mix between laughter and a deep breath of air.

You hadn't noticed it, but your sounds slowly drew Sans out of his slumber.

He opened up his eyes groggily, rubbing them and yawning softly. It was still dark outside, so Sans assumed that something might've gone off or something loud was happening in the apartments outside. He looked for you around the room, not wanting to move out of his comfortable position.

You were there, of course, sitting where you had the first time Sans had stayed over. Leaning against your other couch, laying on the floor. Except this time was different. Your laptop (Plastered with stickers of hearts and special edition book stickers) was on the floor next to you.

Curled up with your knees against your chest, you were taking deep breaths as tears streamed down your face.

Fear instantly seized Sans's heart as he practically teleported next to you, embracing you to the point of squeezing. If he had held any harder, there would likely be bruises on your shoulders.

You froze at first, not expecting Sans to wake up, but slowly eased into his touch. The tears slowed down, but still were flowing down your face.

"kiddo, kiddo," Sans's voice was alert, "are you okay? what happened?"

"S-Sans," you choked out, "I'm okay. I'll be okay."

Sans shook his head, not letting go of you, "this isn't okay, you know that? you're crying so fucking bad, you're shaking. what's wrong? i'm here for you, i can help."

You turned to look at him, smiling shyly, "I sent - I sent an email to a counselor just barely, I think they might-might be able to help me. I don't have to be sad anymore, Sansy. I-I'll be okay. I'll be okay..."

"oh my god," Sans buried his face in your shoulder, "you don't have to be sad ever, _. i'm here for you, undyne's here for you, papyrus's is here for you. i say that a lot, huh? but... i'm a bonehead, you know this."

"you're shaking so badly. are you cold?"

You shook your head softly, wiping away some tears from your face. Sans didn't seem to listen though, as he took off his signature blue jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders. It smelt like Sans.

You put it on slowly, feeling instantly comforted just by the warm sensation of the jacket alone.

"Thank you," you said quietly, smiling at the skeleton.

Sans took a deep sigh of relief, looking deep into your shining eyes, "you-you look cute in that."

You smiled wider, "I think you have me beat on the cuteness factor."

He shook his head, "you really had me worried there..."

"I'm sorry."

"don't be. shows that i care about you, huh?"

You leaned into Sans's shoulder, laughing softly. The tears were gone, replaced by a small smile of your's, "I care about you too."

"it's going to be hell knowing i can't kiss you whenever i want."

"...I'm going to get better. For you. For everyone."

"get better for yourself, you're the most important."

You shook your head, "That's the problem, I can't. I won't get better for myself, that's why I've never recovered. As my best friend, along with Undyne, I'm going to get better for both of you. To be a better friend. To be a better person."

"And maybe," you giggled, "A better girlfriend?"

Sans let out a chuckle, "you'd be the best."

"I-I'll be yours," you said shyly, "If you'd want me to be."

Sans nodded, "i want you to be right now. but i want you to feel comfortable with yourself, y'know? however you want me, as a friend or something more, i'll be here. i'll always be here until the day you don't want me anymore."

"I'll always want you."

Sans grabbed your hand and squeezed it, "i'm with you forever i guess, whether you like it or not."

"Sans?"

"yeah, kiddo?"

"Thank you."

Sans nodded and chuckled, "anything for you."

"I'm happy I spilt a bottle of ketchup on us, however embarrassing that was for me."

"are you getting ketchup on old memories?" Sans teased.

You laughed again, "If you mustard ask, I'd say I was."

The skeleton hummed a note of approval, "i relish the time i've spent with you."

"It hasn't turned sourcrout," you laughed at your bad excuse for a joke, "That one was forced."

"i'm not sure, it seemed a little mild to me," Sans shrugged.

"Are you talking about salsa?"

"yes."

"Why?"

"because you're extra spicy to me."

"Do skeletons have taste buds?"

"of course. do you think i'd drink ketchup if i didn't?"

"Then how do you taste? Do you have tongues?"

"i think you know damn well if skeletons have tongues."

You blushed and laughed out loudly, an ugly sounded and uncontained laugh, "You're awful."

"you're a skeleton lover. guess we both have our downfalls."

Shaking your head, you went to whisper to Sans, "I'm not a skeleton lover."

" _I'm a Sans lover._ "

You turned away to get a glimpse of Sans's face - a look of surprise with blushing, bright, blue blushing. You giggled softly.

"I had to."

Sans, after a few moments of taking in what you said, narrowed his eyes at you playfully, "you think you're funny."

"I think you think I'm hilarious," you teased, "Don't I have quite the funny bone?"

The skeleton rolled his eye sockets, "come here, kiddo."

He brought you in for another hug, squeezing you softly. It felt like he tried to say something without words in it, but all you could comprehend was how nice and comfortable you felt.

"do you know what time it is?" Sans said as he let go of you.

You turned to look at your clock, "Almost three, I think."

"you tired?"

Yawning, you proved Sans's point, "A little."

"let's go to bed."

Sans and you climbed back onto your small couch, just barely wide enough to fit both of you in. Sans noticed the pink blanket and laughed a bit as he pulled it over your bodies. It smelt like Sans, the glorious smell of him. Not even his cologne as much, but just him. Maybe you could convince him to stop wearing it as often.

You leaned into Sans's chest, boney but still oddly warm, and went out like a light. Sans ran his fingers through your hair softly as your breathing started to turn more steady.

And throughout it all, Sans's jacket was safely placed on you the entire time.

Sans thought you looked cuter in it than he ever could've.

The question was if he could convince you to wear it more often.


	26. Be Reasonable

**(tw for insultive slurs and gun mention)**

Monday morning was bitter cold, a telltale sign that fall was ending soon.

You breathed out a sigh, watching the mist show up in the air as you did so. Days like these you desperately wished that you had a car, even though you knew that you couldn't even squeeze a bagel into your budget these days. (No more extravagant coffee dates with Papyrus anymore...) It'd be warm, you could listen to music as loudly as you wanted, and getting home would be a lot easier. Oh _god._ Why didn't you have a car?

It wasn't like you didn't know how to drive, or even that you didn't like driving. There was a parking lot right by the corner of the store so it wasn't like it was an inconvenience to get there. It was more of an inconvenience to use the _subway_.

Still. It sucked.

Your shoes slapped against the pavement, creating a satisfying sound. Your scarf was warmly tucked underneath your chin, and you smiled softly at the memories from it. Mom had given it to you years ago, right when you graduated. If you thought hard enough, you could still remember the smell of her perfume.

However cold it was, it wasn't gloomy. The morning sun was just beginning to rise and it illuminated the buildings around you with a soft, hazy light. The "indie" shopping district was quiet, just barely waking up from the weekend. Shop owners entered their respective stores and chit chatted amongst themselves.

You remembered being jealous of their interactions, not knowing many of them yourself. You remembered being jealous of a lot of things, socially wise.

While you weren't paying attention, someone poked you softly on the shoulder. You jumped from the surprise contact and turned around.

A girl stood there, around the same height as you. She had big, brown eyes with wild and long blonde hair. She smiled softly at you, seeming to be nervous.

"Hey," her voice was soft, "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

You shook your head, "No, you're fine."

She laughed softly, "Alright, alright - that's good, actually. I got worried there, considering how high you jumped."

"Oh, goodness," you laughed, "It's okay."

"Anyways," she continued on, "My name is Vivian, my mother owns the boutique right next to your bookstore. You're _, right?"

You nodded and smiled, "I am, it's nice to meet you."

"My mom thinks I need to interact more, yadda yadda," She smiled wide, "I love her, but I'm much more content with spending my time on the internet."

"Honestly, I'm the same way," you laughed along with her.

"But," Vivian paused, "I agree with her. I've heard a little about you from my mom, and you seem chill. Do you maybe, uhm, wanna go grab something to eat one day?"

You were surprised and easily taken aback from her words, taking a few seconds to respond or even really comprehend what just happened.

She moved around nervously, playing with her hands, "I mean, if you'd like to. Don't wanna go forcing myself upon random strangers."

You shook your head, "No, no. I'd love to, Vivian."

Her smile grew wide, "Oh, really? Oh my god, I was so worried asking you! I've got this really bad problem with being super anxious, so I have a hard time doing stuff like this! Ah, damn, I'm really happy I did though!"

"If you want to," you felt unsure of what to say or do, but kept on talking, "We can maybe, uhm..."

Vivian seemed to have it all covered, "If you're free, then let's go do something! If you want to and, uhm, I don't know. I feel awkward."  
You stifled a laugh and smiled, "I know what you're saying, sometimes too much."

"There's a monster bakery right over there," Vivian pointed behind her, "I'm not sure what your opinions are, but I've never really met a mean one. I don't know why there's so much hate riots and shit going on the news lately."

You nodded, "Most of my friends are monsters, actually. I think they're just like us, some bad and some good though. The good seem to be the loud majority though."

"Unlike us idiots," Vivian giggled.

"I think they serve 'spider doughnuts' and 'spider cider'?" Vivian sounded a bit confused, "They look good; mom brought some home the other day. I'm a little scared if they're actual spiders in those..."

You giggled, "My coworker, Undyne, brought some in last week as well. I didn't feel very well, so I didn't eat them."

"Depression?" Vivian stated bluntly.

You looked at her, blinking.

"Oh hell," she shook her head wildly, obviously embarrassed by what she just said, "I should learn to hold my tongue sometimes, huh? Nah, sometimes I just have bad days where it's hard for me to eat - even though I'll be hungry as shit. Most of my friends deal with the same things so I get confused because I'm an idiot."

You smiled softly, "I... I deal with the same things. I just don't get hungry though, it's like my appetite has disappeared completely."

Vivian giggled, "My friend Hailey deals with the same thing."

"So, uhm, doughnuts?" you offered nervously.

"Doughnuts!" Vivian grabbed your arm hesitantly, and pulled you into the bakery.

Inside was a theme of purple, purple, and more purple if you didn't include the spiders. It was small, but most stores around the area were. It smelt like a bakery would've - just with the added smell of... Spiders? Made sense, you supposed.

"Fuhuhu," a childish giggle brought you out of your thoughts, "Welcome to Muffet's bakery, my lovelies!"

You turned towards the counter to be greeted by an arachnid-like monster. She was small and had on an outfit a young child would wear, but she seemed to hold herself confidently like a supermodel. Her hair was short, a bob almost, accompanied by a purple ribbon. (She must like purple?)

The six armed thing would've put you off guard at first, but after meeting a lot of different monsters - well, it seemed like they had their own thing. (Sans's tongue was his own thing...)

You blushed wildly, in spite of yourself. You hoped Vivian didn't notice.

"All of our dishes are not made with spiders, as that would be inhumane," Spoke the spider girl, who you assumed was Muffet, "But they taste just like they would be! I'm sure we can find something to fit both of you ladies tastebuds."

"I, uhm," you looked at the menu written in chalk at the register, "What would you recommend?"

Muffet seemed to be delighted about your question, "Anything on the menu, or everything! Whatever sounds delicious to you, my lovelies. Our spider doughnuts seem to be most popular but we have spider bread, spider cookies, spider brownies - whatever you want!"

Vivian nodded, "I'd like some spider cider with a doughnut please. I guess that's what mostly everyone gets though."

"That's true!" Muffet giggled, "But they are very delicious, they'll be up for you - hot and fresh! - in a moment. What would you like, darling?"

You realized she was talking to you, "...The same thing, I guess. We always have a next time to come here anyways!"

Muffet nodded happily at your statement.

Vivian and you waited patiently for your drinks and food, making idle conversation while waiting. Muffet came back with your items quickly, warm and fresh just like she had advertised. You both went to go sit down, and continued with what you were talking about.

The cider tasted warm, crisp, and with a lot of cinnamon. It was absolutely glorious. The doughnuts were just as well made, if not better. Fresh doughnuts were the bomb, and these had no question as if they were good or not. It was like a glazed doughnut almost, but with the added extra of frosting with spider sprinkles on top. (Even thinking about it made your mouth water.)

Vivian looked out the window, watching the sun rise up for a moment. The conversation that was currently going on, about different books and authors, was finished.

You looked outside with her and your eyes widened.

"_," Vivian's voice was shaken, "That's your coworker, right?"

"Oh my god."

"Do you know that skeleton that's alongside with her?"

"Vivian, do you know what's going on?"

"I don't, but it looks really bad."

"Vivian, I need to take care of this."

"W-What? Are you crazy?"

You shot up from your chair and tucked it back into place.

"It would be safer for you to stay inside somewhere, so please... Stay here or go back to your mom's store until the crowd has cleared."

"_, what the hell are you doing?"

"Something stupid."

"Thank you for the wonderful time, I hope to talk to you later."

You practically ran out of the bakery, thankful that you had paid earlier.

Outside, in the streets, there was a crowd - more like an angry mob, of people. You pushed your way through the crowd, getting many cries of anger for doing so. Honestly, you didn't care at this point. All you knew was fear.

Once you finally pushed past the crowd, there was a large circle that contained you and more people than you had expected.

Undyne and Sans were standing on one side, Undyne had her spear out murderously. Sans's eyes were dark, no light could be seen from them. On the other side, there was a group of humans that were yelling profanities about monsters and people who supported them. One of them even commented that everyone in the crowd who wasn't against the monsters were 'ignorant monster loving douchebags'.

"You fucking monsters!" Some kid's voice cut through the murmur of voices, "Get the hell out of our city! Go back to the Underground, where trash like you belongs!"

"Don't tell us to do anything!" Undyne yelled right back, "We haven't caused any trouble for you or anyone else, so what's the point of starting a fight?! Leave us alone, we mean you no harm!"

"But," Undyne's demeanour turned dark, "If you dare even lay a hand on me or my friends, you'd better be prepared for a world of trouble!"

The same kid voice yelled, "Then you better be prepared to get fired, you idiot! Go ahead, fight me!"

His familiar voice finally clicked in.

You remembered a shelf of books falling down, creating a mess that would've took you hours to clean if it weren't for Undyne and Sans.

But what was his name?

You knew this was going to get bad, fast, especially if no one did anything soon. These people were being such idiots! Who just watches a fight that can easily turn as bad as this one was going to without saying anything?

 _Grow some balls, you idiots._

"hey," Sans's voice cut through like a knife, "we aren't looking for trouble. neither are you, i suppose. leave us alone, _now._ or else."

"Or else what?" Book-tipper's voice sounded cocky, "Going to show us some magic tricks? With your bones and your spears? Please. Get the hell out of our city."

Sans shrugged, saying nothing.

Undyne looked towards the skeleton with surprise, then turned back at the humans. You noticed a few of them held knives and your heart stopped.

"_, _!" You heard a voice yell throughout all the chaos, and turned to look back. Vivian ran through the crowd to stand next to you, looking terrified.

"Vivian?" you were angry, unreasonably so, "What the hell are you doing here? Please, go back - it isn't safe for you here."

"Neither is it for you!" She brought her voice back to a whisper, "You own a bookstore with monster employees. Your best friends are monsters. You are much more in danger than I could ever be."

" _Vivian._ "

"_, be reasonable."

You turned your attention back to the ongoing fight.

Undyne held tighter onto her spear, " _Your_ city? You all are a bunch of punks! Teenaged delinquents! I don't care whatever you think, but I'm more of an adult than either one of you kids are. So do what a person of authority tells you and get the hell out of my sight."

The kids laughed and one of them with a red bandana on spoke up, "A person? You're a monster, that's the farthest thing from a human than you could ever get! You all are just pathetic rats, so get back down in your hole and die."

"do you wanna have a bad time?" Sans said threateningly.

The group of kids all smiled, readying their weapons to fight.

What scared you was...

That kid, the one that tipped over the books...

He held a bright silver pistol in his right hand, his finger right over the trigger.

This was getting ugly, faster than anything could've. You knew there was tension between monsters and human but this was worst than you ever expected.

You sprinted in front of Undyne and Sans, throwing your hands as if to protect them. It was obvious they didn't know about the gun, you were sure they'd be more cautious or just leave if they knew it was there.

God, why?

Why were people such assholes?

Undyne and Sans made audible noises when they saw you, obviously with anger and discontent.

Vivian even looked at you, her eyes wide and her body paralyzed with fear. She must've seen the gun too. You wondered how the monsters behind you were looking. Would they be angry? Or would they be scared too? At the very least, they had to have seen the knives the kids were brandishing.

"H-Hey!" you spoke up loudly, louder than you had ever done before, "This doesn't make any sense! What are you guys fighting for? Why can't humans and monsters leave in peace?"

"Because we're not all monster fuckers like you," a kid murmured, making his friends laugh.

You felt like vomiting, "Just leave us alone, okay? They didn't ask for any trouble, and this kind of behavior can ruin everything for you guys. I'm sure you're reasonable, so please listen to me!"

More laughter ensued.

"You're an idiot."

"A bitch."

"A fool."

"Just shut up already."

You bit your cheek, "What is this doing for you? To show that you're more supreme than someone else? That is the exact same mindset of racism, to show that one race is better than the others! Monsters are exactly like humans - we all have the same hopes and dreams and ideals! Why don't we just treat each other like civilized human beings?!"

"_," Undyne said slowly, quietly.

"_," Sans said quickly.

"_," Sans said again, "you need to get the hell out of here. _please._ "

You turned to look at him, and both of their expressions were filled with fear. They must've... Did they? Sans's expression was filled... Oh god, what was that look he was giving you?

You took a deep shaky breath and turned back to the delinquents.

One of the kids, the book tipper, was standing only a few feet away from you. He was laughing hysterically, like a maniac. Your heart seized with terror and you felt like desperately screaming, doing or saying anything.

 _Oh god, oh no._

He slowly brought his gun out.

 _I'm dead, I'm so dead._

 _Sans..._

 _Undyne…_

 _Mom…_

 _I love you all._

 _If I die today..._

 _Please know that I care, that I love you._

And aimed it right towards the middle of your head.

 _I'm sorry._


	27. Grazing the Surface

**(tw: blood, guns, descriptions of pain, and (non-sexually) clothes being taken off.)**

"Are you done getting in my way?"

You blinked a few times, watching the barrel of the gun point between your eyes.

"You're just a dirty monster fucker, aren't you? People, if I can even call you that, deserve to die. If I pull the trigger, I'm only doing the rest of the population some justice," his face was smug, uncaring.

 _Jonathan._

His name was Jonathan.

Not that it mattered much.

You knew you were dead in a manner of seconds.

You took a deep, shaky breath - your hands trembling. Tears were beginning to prick your eyes but you would _not_ cry. Not here, not now.

Not for someone like him.

"Look, let's just calm down," your voice didn't quiver. You stood up tall and your voice was stronger than you had ever remembered it being, "I think you guys are making an awful mistake. This kind of stuff can stick with you for life."

"So," you breathed, "Why don't we just put the gun down and just go our separate ways, yeah?"

 _"Sans, don't move_ ," Undyne's voice was a hushed whisper, clearly heard throughout the silence of the crowd, " _Just stay right where you are for now._ "

" _undyne._ " Sans sounded angry, " _you can't expect me to-_ "

" _I'm expecting you to play it safe,"_ Undyne interrupted, _"for her safety._ "

Jonathan cracked a malicious smile, "Why don't I just shoot you? Be a lot easier for everyone involved, you seem expandable anyways."

Why wasn't anyone calling the cops? Hell, why wasn't there a goddamn police officer in sight?

"I-I don't mean to anger you or anyone else," you sounded desperate, terrified, "I want you to think about your future."

He smirked, "I am thinking about my future. I'm thinking about the future of _humanity._ "

You heard a clicking sound.

"So,"

"Die."

Time felt like it moved slowly at that point, like life was turned to slow motion. The next few moments felt so clear, and felt so long. It felt like hours had passed, not only less than a few seconds.

The sound of a gunshot echoed throughout the area, and screams were heard from shopkeepers and customers. Undyne cursed loudly but you couldn't quite make it out. You assumed it was something vulgar because that's just who she was.

You closed your eyes and waited for the inevitable.

 _Goodbye, everyone..._

Then immense amounts of pressure were forced upon you, like a boulder had just landed on your body. You opened your eyes immediately as you felt yourself being pushed to the side. But no one was there, it was just like you had teleported.

 _Teleported?_

Suddenly, immense amounts of pain hit your arm. Your other hand went straight to it, feeling and holding onto the source of pain. You felt warm, hot liquid rush down your hands and through your sweater.

You dropped down to your knees and screamed, wailing in pain.

The delinquents watched you for a moment, before thinking better of it, and then ran away. Jonathan stared daggers at you then ran along with his friends, the crowd of people making a small exit for them.

You slowly closed your eyes, feeling hot tears rush down your face.

At least those kids wouldn't have the pleasure of seeing you cry.

Did any of these people even care that they had almost killed you? That you were there crying in agony of the immense, blinding pain in your upper arm? No? Oh god, this was why you liked books better than people. Books were understanding, books didn't watch as you screamed in pain.

Someone yelled your name and went right to your side, "Oh god, oh god, are you okay? That's a lie, of course you're not! Oh my god, we need a doctor!"

The crowd of people slowly disbanded, not a single one caring about you or what just happened.

"Hey!" Undyne's loud stomps could be heard from behind you, "We need to get her somewhere, do you know where there's medical attention anywhere?"

A bony hand was placed comfortingly on your back, "you should leave."

Vivian made a noise of discontent, "What? Why?"

"we don't need some _human_ ," Sans sounded unforgiving, cruel. Unlike his typical self.

You opened your mouth to say something but your arm throbbed with pain, you bit your lip to keep yourself from screaming again. Blood rushed out as you gripped your arm harder, hoping to stop the bleeding.

"Sans," Undyne sounded impatient, "She was with _ standing in the crowd."

"so?"

Vivian huffed, "You might not trust humans or even me, but I don't mean ill. Please, let me help _."

Sans started to say something but Undyne quickly interrupted, "Yes, _please._ Where's the nearest hospital? Her arm is bleeding profusely!"

Sans's hand removed itself from your back, only to find it's way back to your face. He must've been sitting down on the concrete with you, as he wiped away your tears and pushed back some of your hair from your face.

"i don't know, but i can get her somewhere. i just need an address."

"Sans, what the hell?" Undyne groaned, "You just wasted all of your magic by moving _, you'll kill yourself if you use anymore."

"i won't," Sans paused, "i don't care."

 _Sans saved me?_

Your breathing was shaking, as all you could feel was pain. You felt yourself break into a cold sweat.

But you needed to say something, anything.

"Sans..." you said quietly, whispering and hoarse, "...N-No hospital."

He made a sound of confusion, "you need to get to one as soon as possible."

You shook your head, whimpering, "I... I don't have the money."

"That doesn't matter," Vivian chipped in, "I can help pay."

You shook your head again, "It only... Grazed my arm... I-I think the pain's the only thing... Serious about it..."  
"serious?" Sans put a hand on your good shoulder, squeezing softly, "you're bleeding heavily. that's really not serious to you?"

"I'll be okay..." you opened your eyes slowly, greeted to a worried Sans face, "I'll need help g-getting the blood to stop. I have a first aid kit in my... My bookstore, I'll just need help getting there, okay?"

Sans made a sound of hesitation before helping you up, almost carrying you in his arms. He looked at your bleeding arm and shook his head, looking like he was about to cry. Undyne and Vivian followed you along slowly into your store.

The familiar chime rang as you all piled in and it all felt normal for a moment, except Undyne locked it behind her this time.

"For safety."

You nodded as you told Sans where to grab the first aid kit and he did exactly as you directed.

"Do you have any aspirin?" Vivian asked hesitantly, "I can go grab you some if needed."

You shook your head, sitting slowly down on your seat, careful not to get blood on the leather.

The pain hurt immensely, but it was bearable. You could grin and bear through it if need be, and that was what you were going to have to do. It didn't hurt as bad as first, but it still ached and throbbed like there was no tomorrow. You bit your lip again to try not to cry anymore, your tears just barely had stopped.

"I've got some," you said weakly, "I'll take-take it in a moment, it'll thin out my blood and make me bleed more if I'd take it now..."

Vivian's face was pale, "Alright, just... Tell me if you need anything, 'kay?"

You tried to fake a smile, but it failed horrendously, "O-Okay."

Undyne shook her head, "Always trying to be the cheerful one, even when you just got shot... You're hardcore, _. Living the dream."

Despite yourself, you chuckled and made a rock'n'roll sign, "Rock on."

Sans put the first aid kid, practically slamming it down on the counter.

"will you guys grab _ something for blood loss?" Sans said quickly, "like orange juice and a cookie, or something to that effect."

Undyne nodded and Vivian nodded along with her, "Will do."

Vivian smiled awkwardly, "Undyne, I, uhm. I'll go with you, if that's okay."

"Sure thing, let's go now," Undyne said, unlocking the door, "Keep her safe, okay, Sans?"

Sans nodded, grabbing a wrap of gauze solemnly.

Vivian and Undyne headed out the store, but not without Undyne making sure it was locked securely again. You watched as they headed out, their heads held low.

"i..." Sans paused, "i'm so sorry."

"Sorry?" you asked, "Why are you sorry?"

Sans stopped, staring you right in the eyes, "i... i couldn't prevent you from getting hurt. when i saw you, i wanted to die right then and there. they had knives, _. let alone a goddamn gun."

"That's why I ran up there."

"you're an idiot."

You nodded, "A graze in the shoulder is better than... Whatever might've happened."

Your wound throbbed again and you winced audibly at the pain. It wasn't bleeding as heavily anymore, but the blood started to dry. All over your sweater, your coat, and even some parts of your scarf.

Sans began to grab the stuff to treat your wound before stopping.

"..." he took a moment to say anything, "do you mind going in the book area? where there's no windows?"

You felt confused but nodded nonetheless. You sat on the floor, holding onto your injury with a death grip in fear of it starting to bleed profusely again. It wasn't a question if you needed it to get treated, it was exactly when you needed it to.

Sans sat close to you, right in front of your view. He started taking things out of the first aid kit and placing them to the side.

When did he learn this?

Your eyes felt puffy and you desperately wanted to rub them to get rid of the itchy feeling.

Sans looked at you straight in the eyes, before looking away almost immediately. His face was tinted blue a bit and you wondered what he was thinking.

"hey, this sounds weird," Sans said, still unable to look at you, "i... i need you to take off your shirt, so i can treat your wound. your sweater and jacket are going to make it difficult or even painful since it's up so high on your arm."

You felt yourself blushing, but you knew Sans meant well - even though you both were a tad embarrassed of the situation.

Slowly, you removed your hand from your wound. It throbbed slightly but you bit your lip and beared with it.

Everything you did was slow, so unbearingly and painfully slow. Every brush of the fabric made you want to cry out in pain. You took off your coat and placed it slowly next to you, agonizingly slow. Sans watched you, his expression full of guilt and sorrow.

Did he feel guilty?

He shouldn't.

"Sans," you said quietly, "Are you okay?"

He looked at you for a second and chuckled softly, turning his head, "you just got shot, yet you're asking me if i'm okay..."

The bullet had ripped a huge hole in your coat, you noticed. It must've got your sweater too... Damn, it wasn't like you liked this sweater... (Sarcasm. Ha.)

"i'm fine, kiddo," Sans finally said, "i'm just so fucking relieved you're okay."

You nodded and hesitantly grabbed the bottom edge of your sweater, unsure of how to feel.

"I-I," you said awkwardly, "Don't look."

You pulled it over your head shyly, trying to get it over with. It didn't brush over the area, but it still ached moving it. It felt like someone had just given you three thousand shots in that general area, and you weren't even touching the bullet wound.

Was there a bullet in your arm?

Sans didn't pay attention to your barely covered torso, or your free arm awkwardly covering up your chest. Rather he focused solely on your wound, his hands holding your arm carefully.

He grabbed a rag sort of thing out of the first aid kit and started slowly wiping away the blood from around your arm. It hurt like a bitch.

Sans let out a sigh of relief, "it didn't cut a vein. you'll be okay, okay? it just nicked you, the blood just made it worse than what it looked like..."

You smiled softly in spite of it all, "I'm just glad that... You and Undyne didn't get hurt."

The skeleton didn't comment on your sentence, grabbing out the gauze and starting to wrap it around your wound softly.

"Is there a bullet in there?"

"no bullet."

"That would've been cool, don't you think?"

"_," Sans said coolly, "i don't think it's funny that you almost died, alright?"

You blinked, "I wasn't meaning it like that..."

"don't do anything stupid like that again, please," Sans sounded desperate.

"Sans, I..." You paused, "I'm sorry I made you worry."

He looked at you and smiled wide, "alright, i'm just... sorry, shit. would've kind of sucked if i couldn't kiss you anymore, huh?"

You blushed, feeling the sensation of Sans's hands on your arms, bandaging your arm carefully, "I-"

"don't worry about it," Sans said, "i want you to feel okay and not feel pressured to date me ever, you know that, right? i'm here with you throughout everything. you just scared the shit out of me earlier."

Despite yourself, "I didn't think skeletons could shit."

Sans's head shot up to stare at you, before he started laughing.

You laughed along with him, feeling the ease of the tension from before start to slip away.

"Ouch," you whispered shyly, feeling the pain start to rise up again.

Sans looked at you, eyes wide, "oh god, i'm-"

"No, no," you shook your head, "It just hurts."

"rate your pain one to ten."

"One to ten?"

"just do it."

"A... Five, maybe?"

"do you want any aspirin? i can text undyne to grab you some."

"...I think I have some in my bag."

"i can go grab it for you."

You shook your head, "No, please don't. Just stay with me for a while, right here."  
Sans blushed, and you realized your predicament.

"Oh god, no, no!" You covered up your chest instinctively, "I just didn't want to... I don't know."

"your arm is all done and bandaged," Sans concluded, "tell me if it starts hurting again. you really did just nick it, we're lucky for that. it'll hurt like a bitch for a while though."

He chuckled and slowly started taking off his jacket, leaving him behind in a white turtleneck with his regular old basketball shorts on. He put it on your shoulders lovingly, smiling softly.

"and as much as i'd love to see you like this..." Sans teased, his face bright blue, "maybe now isn't the best time."

Your face was bright red, "You're awful!"

"your face is so red, i don't think we need to worry about you bleeding anymore," Sans said, then shook his head, "sorry, i joke around when i'm sad."

You raised an eyebrow, "I-"

"not always sad," Sans said immediately, "i also just like seeing you smile."

"Sans..." you smiled shyly, "Thank you."

You slowly put on the jacket, comforted by the warmth of it.

"I keep stealing your jacket, dammit," you joked, zipping it up, "One day you'll just never get it back."  
"that's fine, as long as you let me see you in it sometimes," Sans beamed, "god, you're adorable."

You opened your mouth to say something, but were immediately interrupted.

"Sans, _," Undyne's voice echoed, her footsteps loud and clear throughout the store, "Ah, there you guys are! I brought you some orange juice and, I don't know if you like 'em, some chocolate chip cookies."

Vivian was with her, staying quiet while Undyne handed you the bottle and a package bigger than your hands.

"Hey," she said shyly, quietly, "Are you okay?"

You nodded, forcing a smile, "It hurts a lot still, but I can deal with it. Once I'm comfortable that my bleeding has stopped, I'll take some aspirin."

"oh yeah, do you want me to go grab that for you?"

You shook your head and popped open the lid for the juice.

Vivian shuffled awkwardly, seeming to be nervous.

She took a deep breath, "I don't mean to pry, but... Why are you wearing Sans's jacket?"

"And, uhm... Why are your clothes all over the ground?"

"OH MY GOD, WHAT?"

 **(a/n: hey guys, sorry for the chapter being late again. chapters might be late only by a few days, until i can figure out what's wrong with my wrist. my mom thinks i have carpal tunnel, but we're not sure yet. i'll keep you all updated on what happens. thank you all for being patient, i love you guys!)**


	28. Sickly Sweet

**(holY DAMN I LOVE YOU GUYS.**

 **THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME.**

 **i'm back and ready to write, write, write! thank you all so much for waiting and understanding!**

 **i hope you all enjoy what i have in store.**

 **(also: if you guys want to draw fanart for this fic, please do so! it makes me so happy just the thought of that, so just do it! all i ask is if you guys link me to it so i can see! thank you!))**

If you've learned anything throughout this ordeal, it was that orange juice tasted sickly sweet with four aspirins in your system.

The pain still ached like a bitch, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before. It felt like a big bruise someone kept whacking with a white hot pole but it was _bearable._ That was the key word here. If you couldn't bear the pain anymore, everyone around you agreed that was the time you were going to the hospital.

No buts, ands, or ifs about it.

Despite the pain, it was so relieving to hear that, no, the damage hadn't gone beyond just a graze. And, yes, your pain tolerance was absolute shit and that's why it hurt so much. Vivian tried to explain why it bled so awfully too, likening it to nicking yourself while shaving. Undyne seemed confused at that statement, bringing a dorky smile to your face. Well. That answered a question you would never ask.

You sat at your typical chair, bringing your legs to your chest. Your shoes were off and your fuzzy pink socks were showing. Undyne and the others would've joked about it if the circumstances were different.

Honestly, you felt exhausted. It was just barely hitting nine in the morning but, damn, you were struggling to keep your eyes open.

Sans's jacket was so warm and...

"_," Undyne's voice snapped, bringing you to your senses, "Stay awake."

You nodded and rubbed your eyes, yawning loudly.

Sans sat at Undyne's chair next to you, playing with your hand absentmindedly. If there was one thing for coincidence, it was that your shot arm was on the same side as your cut open hand. You had just barely taken off the bandages yesterday as it was, the scabs littering like pen marks all over it. Thank god that it didn't hurt anymore, or else you'd likely be in tears all over again.

"We need to find some sort of gameplan," Vivian said suddenly, looking determined, "This is something that can't go unheard of."

Sans let go of your hand and stared at her, looking dumbfounded.

Vivian and Undyne stood at the other side of the counter, too restless to sit down somewhere. They closed the blinds when they first came in, so the only light was the small hints of sunlight that shone through. You didn't want the artificial light just yet, so you asked to keep it off. They all agreed immediately, probably because of your condition.

Sans sighed, "what are we going to do? we're _monsters._ it's not like anyone's going to give a damn."

Vivian looked hurt, offended even, "You can't just give up. Your girlfriend just got shot, almost killed! Doesn't that seem reason enough just to call the police?"

"Sans has a point," Undyne responded, uncharacteristically quiet, "No one did anything just barely, no one even called the goddamn cops. He had a _gun,_ Vivian."

She still argued, "Those people are idiots! C'mon, _, let's go to the police station and file this right now."

You blinked a few times and opened your mouth to say something.

"they won't care," Sans said blankly, killing your motivation to say anything.

"You can't possibly think that."

You yawned quietly, putting a hand over your mouth. They all put their senses back on you. Sans sighed and squeezed your free hand.

"How're you feeling?" Undyne said, her eye full of genuine care.

"It hurts," you laughed, "But I'll be alright."

"...You guys are idiots," you said simply, not realizing you said that until you did.

You blinked a few times before shaking your head, "No, not idiots... I'm sorry. I just meant that it was really stupid to do that. You knew they had knives, right?"

" _We're_ stupid?" Undyne asked, "Says the one who just got shot."

"we have magic," Sans responded.

"That's no answer. That's like saying you had a gun so the knives were obviously ineffective!" You sighed. "Did you know he had a gun?"

The monsters paused for a moment, effectively giving you your answer.

"Promise to be careful, you two." You said weakly, "I'm tired and I don't want to lose my best friends."

Undyne's face was filled with an emotion you couldn't quite describe as she nodded slowly and walked over to where you were. She hugged you on your good side softly.

"You're such an asshole," Undyne laughed, muffled, her voice shaky, "You're my best friend too, _... I love ya, you freaking loser."

You smiled and tried to hug her back, "L-Love you too, you salmon."

She snorted and let you go, "A salmon? A salmon. Really?"

"I just got shot," you retorted, "Give me a break."

Vivian shook her head and furrowed her eyebrows together, "Look, it's ultimately your guys's choice if you want to call the police or not... But, hey, this kind of shit shouldn't be let off so freely. By letting them go, you're opening up the possibilities for other monsters and even other humans to get hurt.

You looked at her, "Vivian, I... Sans, Undyne... We should get some help. I don't want anything else bad to happen to anyone, okay?"

Sans stared at you.

"kiddo, i-"

"Not calling the police isn't going to do anything about my arm," you said, shockingly dominantly, "I know you're worried but it'll be okay, I promise."

"_..."

"And if it doesn't help, then we'll forget about it. It'll be like water underneath a bridge."

"one condition."

Sans squeezed your hand again, his affectionate moves slowly calming down your anxious heart.

"What is it?"

"...i'll tell you later, but you have to promise to agree to it. if you promise, then we'll call the cops and i'll tell them my story - no complaints."

You blinked a few times before laughing, "Okay, just don't make me regret it."

"UGH!" Undyne interrupted, "You two... UGH, UGH, EW! I want to quit, _! THIS IS INHUMANE TO ME AND VIVIAN TO WATCH!"

Vivian snorted and rolled her eyes dramatically, "It's cute."

"It _is_ cute, but they're not even dating YET!" Undyne paused, "At least I think so? Right, _?"

Your face turned hot, "U-Undyne, this isn't the time to be talking about this."

Undyne coughed and slammed the table with her fist, " _You're telling me about this later. You better bet your ass I won't forget about it._ "

You smiled and shrugged, "Okay."

Vivian shuffled around nervously, "Hey, _. Your old shirt just got ruined, right? I can go grab you a new one from the boutique. I want your number so we can hang out sometime, a less dramatic time, because you seem really chill. Sound good?"

You nodded and smiled, "I don't really need a shirt though..."

Vivian started heading out the door, winking at you, "I don't know, I wouldn't want to be found in my boyfriend's jacket with my bra sticking out..."

Sans's face immediately turned blue.

"Just kidding! See you in a second, _. I hope you like what I can find!"

A chime of the door signaled she was out.

You took a deep breath and leaned into your chair, "When Vivian comes back, we'll call the police, okay? Every voice counts."

Undyne stared at you for a moment, "Dude, this isn't going to work."

"i'll do what you want me too, but undyne's right on this one. we're monsters, if you hadn't noticed," Sans sounded irritated.

"What other options do we have? Sans, Undyne, tell me what you guys have planned or we're going to keep with this one," Why were you sounding so emotional? "I do not want to hear this happening to anyone else, okay? And if I have to get freaking shot to prevent it, then I'll get shot over a million times!"

You let go of Sans's hand and immediately shot right up in your chair.

"Call me an idiot all you want but I'm not letting this go unheard of! You two can either be with me or not, I don't care!" You bit your cheek hard enough to draw blood.

"hey, look," Sans said suddenly, "i told you i would talk and i'm not a skeleton to break his promises. i'm just freaked out that this won't go in our favor. shit like this has happened to other monsters and humans and i'm mainly worried for you, alright?"

Undyne nodded, "If you file a report, there's a high chance that those kids will come back to finish you off. You understand that, right? Calling the police can and will be asking for a fight with those pricks."

"we're just." Sans stopped, "the police in this town are okay, they'd help out some monsters in this sort of situation. i know that, undyne does too. but look. i-"

"If they were caught and only _one_ kid wasn't found or jailed, he'd go after you. It happens all the goddamn time. Even after this situation is over, they'd still know you as the girl who got them jailed," Undyne sighed, "You should be worried for your safety for once in a goddamn while."

"if they even lay one hand on you, _, they're gonna have **e.** "

Chills ran down your arms and the room went black for a second. Sans's face looked terrifying, murderous, and you wondered if these two monsters were more threatening than they seemed. If they ever joined forces on a common enemy...

May god have mercy on their souls.

"I don't know, I-" you paused, "Even if something happened to me... Would one life really be worth the hundreds of monsters lives that are threatened everyday? Would me dying really be so bad?"


	29. Nothing's Set in Stone

The rest of the day seems to pass by slowly, but it's not long until you're back in your bed staring at your laptop screen. You're watching some random movie, long forgotten in the back of your head, as you try to recall the events of the day.

Everyone typically stayed quiet, a few words were spoken between the four of you but nothing too dramatic or even _casual._ It was agonizingly silent and you kept wondering to yourself if you'd said something, or even did anything, wrong.

You'd just apologized to Sans for being an idiot... You didn't really have it in you to do it again. But you'd apologize to him a million times again and again if he'd smile for you.

He was solemn most of the day, keeping to himself. Unusually unlike the small skeleton, that was for certain. Not a pun or a joke was in store for anyone, not even a small tease to Undyne.

Was he worried about you?

Your brain would automatically go to the answer _"No!"_ in any other case, but... The gentle squeezes he gave you throughout the police's questioning, the warm hug he gave you when he transported you home... You couldn't forget it.

Sans was worried about you.

Vivian called the police once she returned back to the bookstore, handing you a vintage top with a nice floral pattern. You put it on slowly, being careful of your wound, as everyone else turned around to give you their privacy. It was cute how Sans's face was blue when you handed him back his fluffy jacket.

The police came in a matter of minutes and were quite surprisingly understanding. They weren't even off put by seeing Sans and Undyne in the store with you. They asked you all quite a few questions, requested to see your bullet wound, and went on their merry way. You were quite pleased to say that they did seem very, _very_ dead set on finding the culprits.

Thinking about your wound, it was awful to think that you couldn't sleep on that side tonight. You were used to it and you silently begged yourself not to turn over whilst sleeping. It'd be a pain to take care of, that was for certain.

The police recommended to take medication when it hurt, to rebandage it at least every two days, and to go to a doctor immediately if it was infected. All reasonable advice.

After they left, and despite how nice they were, you all let out a collective sigh when they finally were gone.

Vivian had to go soon after, but made you promise her that you'd call her and hang out with her again soon. And, hopefully, there wouldn't be anything dramatic this time. (No offense!) You happily agreed to her.

Sans and Undyne wanted you to go home earlier but you were stubborn as a boulder. You _had_ just barely came home from a "personal" vacation and you didn't want to take another one unless necessary. Undyne called you an idiot but Sans didn't comment on it, not a single word.

Despite it all, it was your store, and you stayed the entire day. Being almost four when you finally opened up shop, it wasn't like it'd be a long time working. Some people came in and asked about the events of earlier and, honestly, it was a little fun to talk about it. Undyne warmed up and joked along with you as well.

It was still a bit tense, but you tried to push away the feelings of dread and _almost_ succeeded.

Sans left for work after you opened up but quickly returned once you were about to leave. He didn't say much, just as he had been earlier that day, but transported you back home. You tried to thank the skeleton but the time you had opened up your mouth, Sans had already left.

So maybe this is why you were in this situation.

Completely unsure of what to say or do. You thought of apologizing to Sans, for anything stupid you might've done, but you weren't going to apologize for getting shot. He hadn't noticed that damned gun and... And... _And._ Well. It could've gone off much worse than a simple graze in your shoulder.

You'd take in all the pain if it meant no one else would've.

All in all, maybe that was your _hamartia._ Your fatal flaw.

You wish you could take all the burden of the sadness of the world. Of the cruelty that humanity has shown your monster friends. Even the burden that weighs on your father's shoulders... You'd bear it all, if it meant you could see them smile. Even see Vivian smile.

Something in you had changed.

You weren't fixed, that was blatantly obvious, but you weren't broken anymore. You remembered being a shy, sheltered adult cooped up in your small bookstore but now... Now you had friends, a best friend, a skeleton who wanted to kiss you? Oh god, it seemed like too much.

Despite it, you couldn't shake off the smile that started to consume your face.

Yeah, life was shit right now and you were likely not even close to being finished with those adolescents but. Weren't those pompous teenagers just _trying_ to get a raise out of someone?

Maybe they'd leave you alone once they realize you have the police on your side. (Hell yeah!)

You sighed and leaned into your hardwood bed frame slowly, unwilling to bang your head on it for the umpteenth time.

You were oddly joyful, yeah, but you were knowingly exhausted. Were you allowed to go to sleep yet? Eh... Whatever. You hadn't taken off your pants, and the vintage shirt Vivian handed you, yet.

Suddenly, your phone ringed.

You didn't really bother to check the caller.

"Hello?" you said tiredly, trying to conceal a yawn within your arm.

"hey, kiddo," Sans's voice filled your ear, his musky voice sounding unusually awake, "how you feeling?"

You smiled, "I'm okay, a bit banged up but alright."

Sans paused before slowly chuckling, "even when you scare the living hell out of us... still can manage to make a joke, huh?"

"Sans-"

"im impressed though," Sans sighed, "it's what i would do in your situation anyways."

"Look, Sansy," the nickname slipped, "I'm sorry I worried you, and Undyne, and Vivian... I didn't mean to, I swear to god. I just did what I needed to, alright? I saw you guys-"

"and you ran into save us," Sans finished for you, "i respect you for that, _. there's not even a lot of monsters that'd do that."

"i just-" Sans voice broke and you sat up in alarm, "i worry about you, okay? i know you don't want to have a relationship with me and that's okay, and i know that you're an adult like i am and that you can take care of yourself, but _fuck._ "

"you're doing an awful job of it," Sans said softly, "an awful, awful job. i hate to get so boneheaded about it, but i lo-"

"look."

"you potentially saved me and undyne's life today and i will never be able to repay you for that," Sans shakily said, "but we might not be able to save yours if you keep doing shit like that."

"Sans, honey," you felt like crying, "I didn't mean to worry you. I'm okay, I'll be okay, and I promise I'll go to the hospital if anything else happens to it."

Sans heavy breathing stopped you from saying anymore, "i asked you to do something for me if we called the cops, remembered? and you agreed to it."

You nodded even though the skeleton couldn't see it, "I remember. Anything, Sans."

"move in with me."

"What?"

"it doesn't have to be for long, okay? you don't have to pay for rent or anything, papyrus would love to see you everyday especially since he's missed seeing you at his cafe lately, you can bring all of your cute books, and we'll cook you dinner. i hope you like spaghetti."

"Sans, wait, why are you asking this?"

"i want you to be with us, with someone who can protect you, until those kids get captured. you can even see more of frisk and tori and undyne and alphys because we all live kinda close. and it means no more long subway rides because-"

You took a second to breathe, "I don't understand."

"you can see your counselor too, i think the clinic is closer to us anyways here. please, _, just say yes. you've got me all hot and bonely over here," Sans chuckled, "god, that last one didn't make any sense."

You bit your lip, "I-"

"we have a spare bedroom so if you just need a day to yourself, paps and i can leave you alone-"

"Sans!" you sighed dramatically, "Look, I haven't even said anything yet, you dork. I'm just... You guys can't protect me all the time, you know that? Sans, have you even talked to Papyrus about it?"

"i know we can't, but you don't know how many nightmares you'll save me if you just say yes. and papyrus doesn't know yet but that's because he'll get too excited and i wanted you to say yes first. so say yes, _?"

You laughed softly, "I don't know, Sans. I need to know what'll happen if I say no."

"no spaghetti for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"Oh, damn. I guess I'd better say yes then."

Sans let out a huge sigh of relief, "oh god, thank you. thank you, oh my god. thank you!"

"I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"i, uh," Sans sounded nervous, "can i come see you?"

You blinked.

"Right now?"

"yeah, right now."

"Why? I mean you can, but-"

And as quickly as you said it, the call was hung up and there was a skeleton less than a foot away from your bed.

He looked flushed, his face tinted blue, and his jacket askew. You opened your mouth to ask what's wrong but he quickly embraced your fragile body.

"Sans?" Oh god, he smelt like his cologne.

He squeezed you softly, "you're okay, you're okay. we're okay, right?"

You nodded and moved over slowly to make room for Sans in your tiny bed.

He didn't let go of you but instead clung onto your waist as you pulled him carefully to give you both more room. Sans was to the side of you, face buried on your collarbone, and you put your good arm to hug him back.

"Are you okay, Sans?" You said after a minute, rubbing slow circles on his back.

"no."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"not really."

You smiled softly and giggled.

"I feel like this is more than just a friendship at this point, Sansy."

He made a sound of approval as he clung onto your form tighter.

"We're kind of like friends with benefits, you know? Except without the whole sex thing."

Sans's face went noticeably blue when you said that.

"maybe instead of sex, we can cuddle. sound good?"

You snorted loudly as Sans's finally started to genuinely laugh back with you.

God, you two were so _weird._


	30. Stairs or Elevator?

"where are your boxes at, kiddo?"

"You're a dork," you teased the skeleton, lightly poking his cheek, "I'm only going to be there for a few weeks. I'll need a bag at most... You guys have a washing machine, right?"

Sans rolled his eyes, "'course we do. it's not like we're the living dead."

You coughed, trying not to laugh, as Sans shot you a shit eating grin.

Both of you sat on your bed, stretching you tired limbs out from the day before. Sans had woken up before you and, the minute you opened your eyes, he thrusted pain pills and a glass of coffee in your face. You accepted it graciously, as your arm hurt tremendously.

He checked the bandages carefully as you sipped on your coffee, just the way Papyrus makes it. Did Sans actually teach him how to sweeten it?

"it's not bleeding," Sans commented after a moment, "does your arm hurt?"  
You shook your head, "No, it's aches a bit though... But I looked it up online last night. If it doesn't get infected, it should be okay if I take off the bandages completely in a month or two. It said I should change them every two days or so."

Sans nodded, "you've got me and paps to do it if you want us too."

"I think I'll be okay," you shyly said, feeling your face flush.

You remembered what you had said to Sans only a week before. (Was it only a week ago? It felt like an entire year...) You still agreed with what you said, you did need help with yourself and you couldn't really do it alone. But you still felt awful about it, especially with Sans's reaction. It was obvious that he felt rejected by it, and you kept giving him all these mixed signs.

"Sans, I-"

He looked up at you and smiled, "yeah, _?"

You sighed, "I'm sorry that... I can't..."

He frowned, "stop right there. it's fine, bookworm. i get it and i don't want to force you to be more intimate with me, or even be in a relationship with me. we talked about this, yeah? stop worrying."

"Bookworm?"

You both laughed.

"Is Papyrus okay with me living with you guys?" You said after a moment, "I'd hate to be a bother."

Sans rolled his eyes, chuckling, "don't worry about it."

Suddenly, you heard a loud knocking at your door. You jumped in surprise, clutching your heart. Sans smirked at you.

"speak of the skeleton," Sans simply said, getting up and walked out of your room.

You got up and followed alongside him, watching him open up the door. A tall skeleton stood in your doorway. He smiled happily, giddily, and waved at you excitedly. Sans moved slightly so Papyrus could walk in, and suddenly you had strong arms embracing you. Squeezing you, almost.

You winced at the pressure on your arm, but hugged Papyrus back warmly. He smelt of spaghetti and coffee. It was strange, but it was the Papyrus you've grown to care for.

He let go a few seconds after hearing your pained sound.

"HUMAN? I DID NOT HURT YOU, DID I?" Papyrus asked worriedly, and you shook your head in response, "AH, THAT IS GREAT NEWS TO HEAR! WELL, NOT NEARLY AS GREAT AS I BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT!"

You couldn't seem to suppress the smile growing steadily on your face. Oh god, you'd forgotten how nice it was to be around him.

"MY BROTHER," Papyrus pointed at Sans, who was closing the door, for emphasis, "TOLD ME WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO OUR DEAR COFFEE HUMAN! WE TALKED ABOUT YOU FOR HOURS YESTERDAY AND WE FINALLY CAME TO CONCLUSION THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE WITH US FOR A WHILE! IS THAT OKAY?"

You blinked and stole a glance at the small skeleton. He looked at Papyrus nervously as he came to stand near both of you.

He looked back at you and shrugged, "guess you could say that we care-a-ton!" 

"SANS!" Papyrus slapped his forehead, "THAT IS AN AWFUL PUN!"

"but i put a lot of work in that one, see?" Sans smiled, "a skele-ton of work."

Papyrus huffed, "EXCUSE MY BROTHER, HUMAN. BUT ANYWAYS, WE WANT YOU TO LIVE WITH US! WE HAVE A SPARE BEDROOM WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR BELONGINGS! AND WE ALWAYS HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH SPAGHETTI FOR YOU!"

"Really?" you laughed, "Sans talked about it with me already, and once he brought up your spaghetti, Paps... Well, how could I refuse?"

"I'M GLAD YOU THINK THAT WAY!" Papyrus patted your good arm, "BUT I WANTED TO TRY TO BROADEN MY HORIZONS OUT OF JUST SPAGHETTI! FRISK SAYS THAT THEY ENJOY SOMETHING CALLED RAVIOLI!"

"BUT ANYWAYS. DON'T LET PEOPLE SHOOT YOU AGAIN, OKAY, HUMAN? I WAS VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" He admitted defeatedly, "AND SO WAS LAZYBONE SANS! HE JUST WON'T ADMIT IT! YOU ARE OUR VERY DEAR FRIEND AND I HAVE MISSED SEEING YOU AT MY COFFEE SHOP!"

It had been a while since you'd seen Papyrus, you admit. You bit your cheek in anger at yourself.

"I'm sorry, Papyrus..."

"DO NOT WORRY A SINGLE HAIR ABOUT IT! WHILST YOU ARE IN OUR CARE, I WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE COFFEE YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF!"

"I'd love that," you admitted honestly.

Papyrus smirked.

Sans smiled at both of you, "alright, kiddos, we've got to pack up first before we can have some pasta. i know, it's impastable to stop talking but i don't want to keep them waiting."

Sans winked at his brother.

Papyrus's face furrowed for a moment before suddenly nodding, "YES, YES! ALRIGHTY, HUMAN, I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE IN MY NEW CAR AS WELL! HURRY UP!"

And suddenly, Papyrus turned you around and started slowly pushing you towards your room.

"Wait, who's 'them'?" You asked curiously, giggling softly.

"NO ONE!" Papyrus said, obviously hiding something. He stopped with his pushing and smiled, "HURRY UP, WE CAN ALWAYS COME BACK LATER."

You shook your head, "Alright, fine!"

You grabbed out a small duffel bag and started putting some clothes in it, sweaters and t-shirts you often wore. A pair of sweatpants, a lot of jeans... You ended up putting a dress in there, just in case.

Throughout packing, you heard bits and pieces of the skeletons' conversation outside your door. They seemed to mainly converse about work, but you heard your name spring up a few times.

Sans came in after you were mainly done packing, and he smiled innocently.

"did i ever tell you the time i tried to pack myself in a suitcase?" He asked, "i could hardly contain myself."

You laughed softly, "I'm not sure if I'm ready to go. Packing up and relocating to a new home can be a moving experience."

Sans chuckled, shaking his head.

"you're too wonderful."

You packed your laptop into your duffel bag and zipped it closed, "I packed pretty light. If I need to come back for more, then I will. I grabbed my phone and everything. Do you think that's good?"

Sans nodded, "yeah, i might be able to transport you if you need anything else. now, c'mon, let's not keep paps waiting."

You threw on a light purple hoodie, not feeling like changing your shirt at the moment. You were still wearing the jeans from yesterday, that you had slept on.

"Hmm? Where is he?" You put your duffel bag around your uninjured arm, "Did he go out to his car?"

"do you have your keys?" Sans asked, "alright, don't forget to lock up."

You both went outside your apartment and made double sure that you had locked the door. Sans seemed worried about it, but you ended up shrugging and teasing him for being such a worry-bones.

"Do you want to take the stairs or the elevator?" You asked, smiling brightly.

"i don't typically trust stairs..." Sans started, "they're always up to something."

You smirked, "The first time I used an elevator, it felt really uplifting! But, afterwards, it brought me pretty down..."

"i usually take steps to avoid elevators."

"But an elevator makes ghosts happy! It lifts their spirits!"

"riding the escalator is a step up from always walking on the same level."

Sans and you glanced at each other before bursting out laughing.

"the stairs?"

"Yeah, sure," you said in between giggles.

"can i take your bag, milady?"  
"You're a dork, Sansy."

And, like promised, Papyrus was waiting outside the apartment complex in a red, shiny convertible. You put a hand to your mouth stifle any unwanted giggles, which ultimately turned to be futile.

Papyrus smiled purely at you as you opened up the door of the back seat and sat in it, setting the bag next to you carefully. Sans sat next to Papyrus in the front, and then all of you were off.

There wasn't much talking involved, as Papyrus focused on driving, but it was quite nice to feel the wind. It wasn't much of a surprise to know why Papyrus wanted this car, perhaps it was to feel the wind on his bones. He'd likely say something like that, you thought with a smile.

Although you weren't as worried about the whole situation as Sans and Papyrus had seemed to be, it was still nice to know that you had someone(s) looking after you. It was like spending a long time with your closest friends, and it actually was! You hadn't remembered going to any sleepovers during high school, so maybe you were finally having actual _friends_ for once.

Oh goodness, that was depressing.

Maybe you should stop thinking for a second.

It felt like a relative short drive, but twenty minutes passed by when you finally got to the skeletons' house. You blinked a few times when Papyrus pulled into the driveway, feeling surprised.

You got out of the car along with the monsters, and Papyrus quickly took your bag before you could. He shined you an innocent smile before going _nyeh heh heh_ and running inside. You raised an eyebrow before chuckling quietly.

Sans smiled at you warmly before grabbing your hand and pulling you alongside him into the house.


	31. Two Humans

Papyrus had put your bag neatly on the bed of the spare room.

When you came inside the house, Papyrus had grabbed your other hand and led you and Sans towards the room immediately. It was quite a big room, considering it was used as a spare, with a queen sized bed in the middle of it. The bed was decorated with a floral patterned quilt and sewed pillows, which Sans explained Toriel had all made.

Apparently Toriel and Frisk had lived in this room for the first few months of living in the "Overworld", which was a nickname monsters used for the surface at first, before leaving for the house they lived at now. It was an hour away from there, however, as that was the only teaching job Toriel could find that was closest. They came to visit the skeletons, as well as Undyne and Alphys, quite often though.

It felt a bit like intruding on their personal, almost familial, life. Sans apparently had noticed an odd look on your face, and tried to reassure you that it was completely fine for you to stay here as long as you'd like. It was a nice gesture and you tried to smile in response.

Papyrus and Sans showed you the hangers in the closet and the bathroom that was connected straight to the room. They had let Frisk and Toriel take the master bedroom, you assumed, and that they had both gotten used to the smaller rooms they called theirs.

After they were all finished, the skeletons left you alone to get packed and make the room 'feel like home'.

Despite yourself, you felt a bit awkward. You had felt so confident about this all earlier, but yet... Maybe this was a bad idea.

You shook your head.

Maybes never got you anywhere. You knew that.

You sighed and unzipped your bag, pulling out your clothes and starting to hang them up. Most of your sweaters seemed to mix into the same ones, and you wondered if all of your clothes look so _blah._ You weren't sure, but you blamed it on your bad attitude at the moment.

You sat your laptop and phone onto the desk, and plugged them both in.

Sighing, you went to go put a hand through your hair and stopped. You didn't remember putting in a hair tie this morning, and it was obvious now that you hadn't.

You went to the bathroom and gaped at your reflection in the mirror.

Well.

You looked like you just had... _Um_ , _"sexual intercourse"?_

Your hair was standing up everywhere, wind had made it even more messier than before. It looked completely wild, a look you'd assume would only work on someone like Undyne. You didn't look awful, per say, just completely... Well.

Blushing, you wondered what Papyrus had thought when he walked in on both of you. Even a precious cinnamon roll couldn't be _that_ naive, right...? Maybe. You were talking about Papyrus here.

Sans hadn't said anything though, and you felt torn between thoughts: did he just not realize the connotation behind messy hair like this, didn't care, or thought you looked cute? You felt your face heat up more as you quickly ignored that last one.

Your hair was a problem that you felt needed to be addressed quickly, although you felt a bit narcissistic saying so. You grabbed a few clothes out of the spare bedroom, a towel, and turned on the water for a shower.

Throughout so, you realized how hard it was to shower without one of your arms. (Also, hint to yourself, ask Sans if he could rebandage it for you.)

* * *

"HOW WAS YOUR SHOWER, COFFEE HUMAN?" Papyrus said enthusiastically, hovering over a saucepan which you were almost certain contained spaghetti sauce in.

The hardwood flooring was cold on your bare feet as you walked next to the skeletons. Papyrus was cooking and Sans was sitting on the counter, watching his younger brother **_cooked_**. From what Sans had told you, apparently Papyrus used to be an _awful_ cook. And, honestly, that was really hard to believe.

"It was good, Papyrus," you said shyly, sitting next to Sans, "Thank you for asking."

You turned toward your attention towards Sans, who hadn't said anything yet, waiting for some silly pun. What you hadn't expected was that small blue flush that adorned his cheeks. He stared at you for a second before you realized what was wrong.

Ah, yes, perhaps a pair of shorts weren't the most appropriate thing to wear during your first night at your _potential boyfriend_ 's house. (Why are you saying boyfriend? Oh dear goodness!) You flushed brightly realizing that, putting your hands on your knees in vain.

Everything else you were wearing seemed decent, at which you took a deep breath in relief at. You just wore a simple black shirt with a red flannel jacket.

But, damn, you were having so many closet issues today, oh gosh. It wouldn't surprise you if you ended up putting on disco pants with a suit jacket. Although, you hoped that you weren't that stupid...

Sans's eyes flashed with realization and he suddenly coughed, turning his gaze away from you.

"N-No silly puns, Sans?" You said, stuttering over your words awkwardly, "Also... Can I ask you to do something for me?"

You saw Papyrus smirk from the corner of his eyes, "_! DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM!"

"i like shower puns, but i-i'm not a big fan of bath puns," Sans replied, smiling.

You giggled softly, "What are you making, Papyrus?"

Papyrus's smile turned even wide, "SOMETHING CALLED FETTUCCINE ALFREDO! SANS AND FRISK, LAST TIME THEY WERE OVER, TOLD ME ABOUT THE MANY KINDS OF PASTA THERE IS! NOT JUST SPAGHETTI!"

"Have you ever tried ziti before?" You smiled softly, "Maybe I can teach you the recipe one day."

"ZITI?!" Papyrus exclaimed, putting his hands (adorned by silly oven mitts) over his face, "WHAT IS ZITI? SANS, WHY HAVE YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS? AND, HUMAN, HOW MANY TYPES OF ZITI IS THERE! IS THERE AN ENTIRE WORLD OF PASTAS THAT I WAS NEVER TOLD ABOUT! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!"

You put your hand over your mouth, laughing, "If I had a _penne_ for every time someone asked me that..."

Sans's laughter was added loudly into the mix.

"WHAT? WHAT IS THIS 'PENNY'? DON'T YOU MEAN THE HUMAN MONEY COIN?" Papyrus narrowed his eyes, "WAIT! THAT WAS A PUN! HOW DARE YOU!"

You took a deep breath to calm down, "I'm sorry, Paps."

"what do you call a fake noodle?" Sans asked, wide grin plastered all over his face.  
"An impasta!" You added, and Sans nodded happily.

Papyrus groaned, "WHY MUST YOU TWO TORMENT ME AS SUCH!"

But before either you or Sans could answer, the sound of the front door being open (and then, following suit, _shut_ ) turned your attention away from the cooking skeleton.

"Hello Sans, Papyrus!" A warm, familiar voice said as you turned around, "And, _, it's sadly been a long time since we've last seen you all."

You suddenly shot out of your chair, unable to contain a smile. Your wet hair hit the back of your neck cooly, "Toriel! Frisk!" _Oh god, you are being too loud-_ "I-It's so awesome to see you!"

Frisk ran up to you and embraced your torso, squeezing. They looked up at you and grinned innocently.

You hugged them back, "How's school been?"

Frisk signed a few words, and your vague knowledge of ASL was able to slightly(?) interpret it, _"Teacher says that I'm doing... Math is... I've missed seeing... What's Papyrus cooking?_ "

"He said he wanted to try something else," You told them, "It's still pasta though, so don't worry!"

 _"Papyrus... Cooking... Awful,_ " Frisk signed, frowning.

You laughed slightly and ruffled their hair.

"Sans has told me you've moved in with them, _," Toriel said, her motherly smile happily adorned on her features, "I hope this means that we'll see each other more!"

You nodded as Frisk went to go talk with Sans, who was in the kitchen with Papyrus by now.

"I tried that wonderful pumpkin casserole you've texted me," Toriel beamed, "It was absolutely wonderful! Where did you learn it?"

A dull ache appeared in your heart, but you quickly tried to move it to the side, "My mom did... She used to make it for Thanksgiving every year."

"Does your mother have any other wonderful recipes such as this?" Toriel inquired, "Perhaps the two of us could trade recipes! Asgore has been asking me for months if he could get the recipe to my butterscotch-cinnamon pie."

You smiled, "I'd love that. Although I don't cook very often..."

You pondered it for a moment.

"I think I might have a recipe for coffee cream eclairs. Have you ever had those before?" You asked as Toriel shook her head, "I'll see if I can remember it! Sometimes they can be difficult to make though, but I'd love to help you make them if you'd like."  
"That sounds wonderful, my friend," Toriel's smile felt like it would rot your teeth out, it was so sweet.

You turned your head around, watching Sans and Papyrus conversing with Frisk. They acted so much like a family, it honestly made your heart swell.

Toriel's voice brought your attention back to her.

"However, I'd not be the first one to admit..." Toriel turned her voice low, "That we care about you. Please try not to get shot again."

You blinked in surprise, "Toriel-"

She put a hand, effectively stopping your speech, "I appreciate what you did for Undyne and Sans. I don't know what might've happened without you there. But... Don't forget that we care for you too, alright? Frisk overheard Sans calling me about it too... I eventually had to tell them, and they kept nagging at me to see you. We love you, darling, but don't make us worry like that again!"

"Toriel..." You smiled shyly, "Thank you."

"It's no problem, my friend," She shrugged her shoulders in response, "Do not forget to give me that eclair recipe, that sounds absolutely wonderful!"

"tori? you going already?" Sans suddenly reappeared next to you.

She nodded sorrowfully, "I'd hate to go, especially after the promise of new recipes..." She winked at you, "But I don't want to keep..."

Her face went bright red, a stark contrast to her snow white fur.

Sans chuckled, "asgore? tell the big, furry pushover i said hi. and that if he hurts you, king or not, me and paps will go after his ass-"

"Sans!" Toriel scolded, teasingly, "Frisk is right behind you!"

Frisk turned around in surprise of hearing the their name.

Finally, it clicked.

Eventually, you'd have to meet this Asgore. You'd admit, though, that you were a bit intimidated from what you've heard.

"Goodbye everyone," She waved as she started walking back towards the door, "Frisk, honey, I love you. And, _? Keep yourself safe."

Frisk waved back, a bright smile on their childish face. _"Love you..."_

With a slam of the front door, Toriel was gone.

"so, kiddo," Sans turned his attention towards the kid, "what do you want to do tonight? papyrus can give up his movie pickings for tonight."

"BUT SANS-" Papyrus laughed, "IT'S COMPLETELY FINE, HUMAN! WHATEVER DO YOU WISH TO DO AFTER DINNER IS OVER?"

"Dinner?" you said quietly, shocked, "What time is it?"

" _Seven! ...Silly_ ," Frisk signed to you, giggling.

You gasped dramatically in shock, "Oh dear! How did time pass me this quickly?"

 _"You were too... Sans..._ " Frisk had a hand over their mouth in a vain attempt to stop laughing.

You flushed and shook your head, "Are you watching too many of Mettaton's movies?"

 _"No! We... Hung... Says hello!_ " You barely got any of what they said, but understood the main gist of it.

"hey, _," Sans said, poking your shoulder, "you said you needed to ask me something a minute ago?"

Frisk shook their head, still giggling, and ran to the living room. They turned on one of the TV channels which, conveniently, was playing a show with Mettaton in it. Legitimately wearing a bright, fluffy, blue dress. (It was obvious why Papyrus liked him so.)

"I, uhm," Did you forget? "Oh, wait!"

Sans raised an eyebrow at you, amused.

"It might be kind of gross, actually," You twiddled your fingers together, "So, uh."

Sans shook his head, "i'm a skeleton. i dont have anything that can react to being 'grossed out'."

You rolled your eyes, "I was just going to ask if you might help me rebandage this." You pointed to your arm, "I got it wet when I took a shower."

Sans laughed, then shrugged, "no problem, dork. c'mon, i think we've got bandages in the bathroom."

You followed him into the bathroom, and shut the door behind you. You didn't want Frisk to walk in on the, likely, bloodied display.

You threw off your flannel and tie it around your waist.

You sat on the bathtub's edge as Sans grabbed the first aid kit out of the cabinet, sitting it next to you soundlessly. He sat on your other side and held your arm cautiously.

"did you make sure to bring your pain medication with ya?" Sans began to unwrap the bandages.

"I brought a few bottles," You sounded like a drug addict... "I remember, though, that if it gets worse than I'll go to the hospital."

Sans nodded.

"But I don't need to worry about that, do I?" you smirked, "Living here, I'll have you to watch over me. I'm afraid if I wince then you'll drive me to the hospital immediately."

Sans took in a deep breath, his face amused.

"teleport," Sans corrected, "if you wince, i'll teleport you there. perks of living with an overbearing skeleton."

"Not overbearing," It was your turn to correct, "I'd say caring."

Suddenly, there was a cool feeling on your wound.

Sans's face turned dark, the amusement rushed out of his face.

You didn't want to ask, "How bad does it look?"

The skeleton looked intently at your arm before sighing, "it's okay. it looks like it hurts like a bitch though. you sure you don't want to go to the hospital? they might be able to prescribe something for the pain."

"I can deal with it," you admitted, biting your cheek.

"yeah, i know you can," Sans grabbed a wet towel, washing away the blood, "but doesn't mean i want you too."

"you'd say the same for me too."

Sans quickly was able to disinfect your arm without much pain, wash away the excess blood, and rebandage your wound. He explained to you that, yeah, it'd leave a big scar but, no, it wasn't bleeding anymore. You sighed deeply in relief of it all.

"Can't believe that was only yesterday..." You said, watching Sans throw away the bloodied bandages in the garbage.

"c'mon, let's not leave the kids waiting," Sans teased.

When you walked out, Papyrus eagerly served you all his new pasta. It wasn't bad for his first time! Sure, it might've been overcooked a _tad_ but it was much better than you felt you could do. Besides, the sauce was to die for.

Frisk ate some seconds, then thirds, then fourths.

You wondered if you ever were able to eat that much as a kid.

After dinner, Frisk insisted that you all play some board games with them. Papyrus and Frisk were almost always in the lead, and you didn't have the excuse that you weren't trying - because dear god believe that you were, but it was fun to see the excitement on everyone's faces as you all played.

Frisk ultimately won, but that wasn't a big surprise. Papyrus, although childish at sometimes, was really just a big sweetheart.

After a few more games and a few more board games, Papyrus announced that it was bedtime for him. Sans walked with him upstairs, likely to read him a bedtime story, as the tall skeleton yelled goodnight to both of you humans.

It was getting late, in all honesty, and you asked Frisk if they were getting tired.

They nodded, _"Toriel... Doesn't... Late..."_

You smiled, "Do you want to watch a movie then?"

Frisk giggled, _"What... Movie do you?"_

"I'm..." You paused, "I don't know, actually. I don't watch a lot of movies."

The sweatered kid giggled at you, " _No movies?"_

"Not a lot of them."

"What's your favorite movie, Frisk?" you asked, genuinely curious, "Maybe you can help me get back into some of them."

Frisk nodded at you excitedly before grabbing a silly movie out of their backpack you hadn't noticed before. You weren't quite sure what it was, but happily sat alongside Frisk as they put it into the disc player.

The sounds were quiet on the television but it was at a perfect setting for a sleepy kid. Didn't they need their well deserved rest? Winning all those board games might take a lot out of you. (Not that you would know...)

Frisk grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around both of you, the bright colors of another Toriel quilt, shone in the illuminated darkness.

 _"Is it okay?_ " Frisk signed, laying their small head down on your thighs.

You smiled softly, "Of course it is."


	32. Auxiliary

**(** **hey all! i've opened up a page!**

 **if you're interested in having me write you a small fanfiction, or just showing your support, please consider to donate at thelittleglaceon?ty=h )**

Another day, another dollar.

Or that's how the supposed saying went.

Despite Sans's and Undyne's constant worrying, you dragged yourself to work the next morning just as you typically would. It was great to know that they cared, yes, but you felt as if they didn't know the line between caring and overbearing. (Hey, that rhymed!)

Your bandages, throughout the past four days, had been reapplied more than six different times just by Sans alone. Honestly, you weren't even sure if that was even healthy for your wound.

"Hey, listen to me when I'm talking to you!" Undyne's voice filled up your thoughts, and you turned to glance at the pouting fish monster.

You felt a smile hint on your lips, "You were talking to me?"

Undyne's eye twitched, "Of course I was! You obviously weren't paying any attention! I bet damn well you were off in dreamy land about Sans."

"About Sans?" you laughed, "Is this what I should worry about when you don't pay attention to me? Are you off dreaming inappropriate thoughts about Alphys during work?"

You weren't expecting Undyne's face to heat right up, like molten lava being splashed on her cheeks.

"HEY!" Undyne yelled, "This isn't the time to talk about this! J-Just answer my damn question! Besides, it's none of your business to hear about what I think about..."

You snorted, "Undyne, oh my god. I don't even want to know!"

"_!"

"Alright, alright... What did you ask?"

Undyne slapped her forehead, "Dammit, really? I was asking you if you really are living with Papyrus and Sans."

You nodded shyly, "Only for a little while... They just got really nervous since about this whole flesh wound thing."

"Flesh wound?" Undyne laughed, "Alright, whatever, you're hardcore. I get it."

"Oh yeah!" You were reminded of something, "Do you know any more ASL? Frisk was over a few nights ago, I wanted to get to know them better."

"ASL? What the hell is that?" Undyne frowned, "I can hear Frisk talk just fine."

"Talk?"

"Yeah, uh." Undyne paused, "Maybe it's a monster thing. I dunno."

You shook your head, "Maybe I'll just take a class on it."

"Wait, I've got another thing to tell you!" Undyne said, slamming a book into a shelf. You winced at the mistreatment of it.

"Hmm?" You asked, curious.

"Alright," Undyne crossed her arms together, "You know the whole thing with Asgore? The thing I've been telling you about for, like, a month?"

You nodded.  
"Asgore finally set a legitimate date for that stupid thing," Undyne snorted, "We're leaving in three weeks. I suppose it'd be the 28th of November by then."

"It's November already?" You smiled softly, "That's crazy! It feels like I've known you for years, not just for a few months at best."

"It's a crazy world," Undyne smiled brightly, "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Undyne sighed, "Anyways, do you think you'll be okay working here alone? There won't be any monsters in the Surface for at least a week or two."

"Sans is staying," You added weakly, and Undyne nodded in realization.

"Oh, yeah! You've already asked him if he'd work here with you!" Undyne said, "God, that's actually a huge sigh of relief! Nonetheless, do you think you'll be okay without me here? I don't mind staying if it'll help you."

You felt a twinge of nervousness but tried to brush it off, knowing that Sans would still be here with you, "Nope! I'm good, I'll be okay! Don't worry!"

Undyne furrowed her eyebrows.

The chime of the door opening suddenly brought your attention back on the store. It wasn't necessarily a customer carrying money for some old indie books, but rather Vivian carrying a bright smile along with her.

"Hey, Vivi!" Undyne waved, which caught you off guard.

Sans hadn't seemed to be much of a fan of humans, save for you. He had turned so hostile when Vivian appeared during that whole incident... Undyne, however, seemed to act neutral about the situation. They did spend a little while together, so maybe there were becoming friends? You honestly hoped so. You and Vivian had been secretly texting ever since you took a bullet to the shoulder.

"Hey _, hello Undyne," Vivian smiled, her hair wild as usual, "Are you guys on your lunch break?"

Oddly, you put a hand to your own hair to make sure it was tied up _as usual._ It was. "Uhm, Undyne? What time is it?"

"What time is it?" Undyne chortled, "Oh god, you're my boss, aren't you? Aren't you supposed to know about these things?"

You tried to give her a famous shit eating grin. It failed miserably. "Maybe."

Vivian laughed at the two of you, "I was hoping we could all hang out without any, y'know, stupid teenagers with guns showing up."

"Sure, punk!" Undyne gave her a thumbs up, "_, do you wanna hurry and wrap this up?"

You nodded, "Yeah, let me go grab my keys and everything."

"Don't forget your coat! It's starting to get chilly out there... I think it might snow sometime soon. Either that, or we'll have some major rainshowers coming our way," Vivian added happily.

"Rain?" You frowned, "I hope it doesn't get too severe. I've never been a big fan of thunder and lightning."

Undyne raised an eyebrow, "You haven't? I think it's relaxing."

"It scares me a bit," you added, only half-joking.

The monster rolled her eye at you before putting away the last of the books. She smiled proudly at her work, then grabbed her coat from her seat in the back. You scoffed at her teasingly before throwing your thick jacket on, smiling at the warmth of it. (You would've worn your coat... But, you know... _Reasons._ )

"Where we going to?" Undyne asked once you all walked out of your store, pausing to let you lock it.

"A pizza place," Vivian smiled, "They've been in town for a few years now. If you don't want pizza, that's okay. They've got other stuff too. All you need to know is that I'm paying."

"Vivian-," You opened up your mouth to protest.

Vivian wouldn't have it, however, as she huffed loudly. Her blonde locks moving rapidly as she did so, "No! This is something I want to do, 'kay? Besides, I have something I want to talk about when we get there..."

"At least let us pay for-"

"I won't have it, _!"

And, well, that was the end of that argument.

* * *

You three were able to find a booth in the back of the restaurant. You and Undyne sat together, you closer to the window, whilst Vivian sat on the other side. Her face was all smiles, and Undyne even seemed to loosen up with the relax atmosphere of the pizza parlor.

It looked old and maybe a bit worn-down inside, but it was easy to tell that it was loved. There was hardly anyone in there, save for a few couples, and the only sounds were of soft conversation.

It smelt like pizza and, oh god, you hadn't realized you were hungry until that exact moment.

You took a sip of your water.

"Alright, Vivian," Undyne slouched into the booth, "What did you want us for?"

Vivian's smile disappeared, she furrowed her eyebrows together, "Alright, look. I know we've talked to the police, but they haven't done a thing in accordance to the shooting!"

"You talked to them again?" Undyne asked, "Why? We've tried telling you that there was no point to it!"

"You all deserve justice," The brown eyed girl replied simply, "And doing nothing is not going to help you."

You sighed, playing with the straw in your glass, "I understand what you're saying, Vivian, but if they're not going to do anything-"

"I know Jonathan," Vivian stated.

Suddenly, the chatter around you seemed to stop.

"Jonathan?" Undyne repeated, "Who the hell is Jonathan?"

You paused, "It was that kid who came in and tipped over all the books two months or so ago," Your voice was quiet, "He also shot me."

If you were in any other place, you were almost positive that Undyne would've jumped up and yelled. Instead, she clenched her fists together - her knuckles began to go white.

"You know that motherfucker?" Undyne's voice was a whisper, "How?"

Vivian bit her lip, "We went to highschool together. We're both nineteen, I believe."

"I went back into the police station once I was certain it was him," Vivian looked hopeful, "They've drawn up a sketch of him, from what I could remember. I don't remember his last name, or anything else besides his basic personality. As you can tell, we weren't close friends."

"_," Vivian directed her words towards you, "Look, the police need you-"

"Hello darlings!" A waitress had suddenly appeared, carrying a menu in her hands. Her face was plastered with makeup. She seemed happy, her bright smile seemed genuine, "Is there anything I can get you today?"

Vivian's eyes were filled with discontent, but she faked a smile, "I'd like to get a mushroom calzone."

Undyne looked at you and smiled warmly, "I'll get the salmon salad. And she," Undyne pointed at you, "would like an olive calzone."

The waitress laughed softly, "Alright, ladies! I'll be back as soon as possible with y'all's food."

She left you three quickly, moving onto the next table around you.

Your face felt bright red as you quietly thanked Undyne, feeling childish.

She ruffled up your hair, "No problem, punk. Alphys asks me to do the same thing."

"Anyways," You tried to shake off your initial embarrassment, "What were you saying, Vivian?"

"The police need you to go in for questioning," Vivian stated, "They want to get another sketch of the shooter for extra certainty. They also need to know exactly what happened, as your memory of it might seem more clear after a few days."

"Once they get a close match, it's a likely possibility that they'll bring both you and I to the police station to make sure it's Jonathan."

"_," Vivian's brown eyes stared straight into yours, "I'm not going to force you into going there, but I want you to think of the possibilities that could happen if you walk into the police station. Good and negative."

"You guys are mad!" Undyne huffed, "His gang is going to try to _kill_ you if anything happens to him. You're risking your life, Vivian! There's people out there who will stop at nothing!"  
"By keeping that madman out there, we're risking monster lives!" You added sternly.

"Jonathan deserves to rot for what he's done," Vivian glared.

Undyne looked at you for a moment before sighing deeply.

"You two are insufferable," She shook her head, laughing, "Fine, whatever. Just know that this means I'll have to worry about both of you more than I already do!"

"Would you two be willing to go with me to the police station after work?" Vivian asked hesitantly.  
You blinked, "I, uhm... Well... I actually have a counselor's appointment after today is over..."

Undyne ruffled your hair again, "I'm so proud of you, by the way."

Vivian smiled brightly, "Oh my gosh, really? _, that's amazing! I hope it might be able to help you."

You laughed, "Thanks guys."

The waitress soon came back and handed you all of your food, her smile still glued onto her face. It still didn't appear fake to you though! She might've just really liked her job.

"It's my first appointment," You stated, taking another sip of your water, "I found an office which did 24/7 counseling."

Undyne hummed in approval, taking a bite of her salad.

"Tell me if it's any good!" Vivian cut open her calzone, "Mom says I might need to try one someday."

You smiled, "I will, for sure. Doesn't everyone deserve happiness?"

You took a bite of your food and winced at the hotness of it, taking a big gulp of your drink. It burnt your tongue slightly but you knew you'd soon get over it.

"I don't think..." Undyne paused, her voice cold, "People who call other people _'monster fuckers'_ or people who hate just to hate... I don't think those people deserve any type of happiness. I don't think people who try to hurt monsters or humans of any sort deserve any sort of redemption. They can rot in hell for all I care."

"Undyne..." You said softly, putting a hand comfortingly on her shoulder.

She laughed for a second, bitterly, "God, just... I think those people are truly the _monsters_ of this world. Don't humans use monsters in negative context? Like we're some sort of evil?"

"I think," You whispered, "I think that you're you. You're a monster, you're Undyne. Monsters are loving and caring, they feel everything that we humans do. The only evil in the world is people who spread evil."

Undyne sighed, "You always know what to say, you punk..."

You laughed, "You're my best friend, aren't I supposed to know how to make you laugh at least?"

Vivian rolled her eyes at both of you, "Monsters are, like, legitimately nicer than any human I've ever met."

"I think it depends on the person," Undyne added after a moment, "Monsters can be dicks too. Have you ever met Jerry?"

You and Vivian both shook your heads.

"Well, don't."


	33. Bad End Night

The subway is unusually quiet for a Saturday evening.

You sit down on a seat right by the doors, watching them close soundlessly. The subway is off in mere seconds afterwards.

It's quick business with subway trains. If you were just a moment too late, you'd be watching the subway go off by now. Not to say that it took them a while to come back, as it came by the half hours, but they were always in a hurry. You felt yourself wonder if they were on an automated schedule, with no one running the trains except for electricity.

You heard slight coughing from someone and turned your head at the noise.

Your blood ran cold as you cautiously moved around to check the entire subway car. It wouldn't have been such a big of a deal to you if there was many people in the train with you, but it seemed to be entirely empty save for you.

What was going on...?

You grabbed your bag off of the seat next to you and practically pulled the zipper right off. As you put your hand in and shifted through the contents of it, you thanked everything that you bought a small bag.

Where is it?

Ah, you thought, your fingers tightening onto a small box, There it is.

You pulled it out of your purse and stared at it.

"Prozac," You said quietly, despite the absence of anyone else, "Take one pill per day at the same time until box runs out. Talk to your doctor about another prescription a week before your pills run out."

You sighed.

"It better damn help. It cost me almost twenty dollars," you shoved it back into your purse, "Plus the judgement of the random salesclerk."

Although it had just barely been your second session with your counselor a near hour ago, he'd prescribed to you a month's worth of antidepressants. He said that it'd help both your depression and anxiety problems, provided you remembered to take it daily.

The counselor recommended to take those pills but also to still come see him weekly. While you'd much rather just go to the appointments alone, you promised yourself that you'd do whatever he asked you to. If you wanted to get better, maybe just trying antidepressants for a little while wouldn't hurt.

If you hated them, you could always just stop them.

(Although, you should definitely ask your counselor first.)

Before you knew it, the subway arrived at your destination. You grabbed your bag and walked out, trembling at the sudden cold. You found a vending machine nearby and bought yourself a small bottle of apple juice.

When you finally arrived back into the open air, out of the dark subway tunnels, you noticed just how dark it all was. You couldn't even see the moon, much less the stars, with the overcast in the sky.

You felt like a wimp, but it seemed pretty scary outside.

You shoved your hands into your pockets and rushed straight back home.

* * *

"COFFEE HUMAN, ALAS, YOU HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED HOME!" Papyrus shouted loudly, watching you pull up a chair and sit at the counter.

You smiled at him, "Hey, Papyrus. How has your day been?"

"IT HAS BEEN EXTRAORDINARY!" Papyrus said happily, "BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR MY LAZY BONES BROTHER ALL DAY! EXCEPT FOR NOW OF COURSE AS YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN MY HOME BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT!"

"Sans hasn't been home yet?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"NO, NOT AT ALL!" Papyrus answered, "I WONDER WHAT THAT SANS IS DOING!"

You smiled slightly, worry taking over your emotions, "I hope he gets home safe..."

Papyrus stared at you for a moment, then suddenly shook his head, "HAVE YOU HAD ANY DINNER TONIGHT? IT WON'T TAKE ME A MOMENT MORE TO WHIP UP SOME OF MY SPAGHETTI!"

You nodded your head, not wanting to inconvenience the skeleton, "Yeah, thank you though."

Papyrus frowned.

"HUMAN?"

"Hmm?"

"ARE YOU FEELING QUITE ALRIGHT?"

"I, uhm," You paused, "I'm not quite sure."

"IS EVERYTHING OKAY?" Papyrus's attitude suddenly changed, his demeanor full of care and worry.

You nodded again, "I think so."

"DID ANYTHING HAPPEN?" Papyrus moved from his usual position in the kitchen to sit on the chair next to you, "YOU CAN TELL THE GREAT PAPYRUS ANYTHING! I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE A FRIEND IN THIS POSITION FOR THE NIGHT."

"You're leaving?" Your voice carried a sad tone to it, which you immediately bit your cheek in shame for.

Papyrus heroically nodded, "UNDYNE AND I ARE HAVING A COOKING LESSON TONIGHT! WE'RE ALSO HAVING A SLEEPOVER! IT'S BEEN MANY MONTHS SINCE WE LAST HAD THE CHANCE TO DO THAT!"

"I hope you guys have fun," You said, "Tell Alphys I said hello."

"I WILL FOR SURE!"

"ANYWAYS, COFFEE HUMAN," Papyrus got back on track, "PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOUR MIND IS SAYING."

Turning your gaze away from the skeleton, you let out a small sigh, "I'm just..."

"I don't know if you've ever had this feeling, it's actually totally normal if you haven't... This feeling of hopelessness, I guess? Like nothing bad happens to you, and you might've had a good day while you're at it, but you just feel this constant... Emptiness."

You stared at the clock, watching the time tick by.

"I," You started, "..."

"I don't know. I'm sorry for being an inconvenience on you, Paps. I'm likely making no sense..."

"YOU'RE PERFECTLY OKAY," Papyrus put a gentle hand on your shoulder, "I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH BUT PLEASE DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU ARE INCONVENIENCING ME OR SANS. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT. THIS IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR, _!"

You smiled softly, "Thank you."

"WOULD YOU, PERHAPS, LIKE TO HAVE THE SLEEPOVER WITH ME AND UNDYNE TONIGHT?" Papyrus asked, "WE'D LOVE TO TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE EVEN BETTER SPAGHETTI! I DIDN'T GET MUCH OF A CHANCE TO TEACH YOU IT ALL PERFECTLY LAST TIME!"

"Maybe another time?" You said weakly, "It is quite late, I might have to go to bed soon."

Papyrus nodded, then shot up from his chair, "WELL, I NEED TO GO OVER THERE SOON. I CAN STAY WITH YOU IF YOU'D LIKE ME TO HOWEVER. I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALONE SAD LIKE THIS."  
You feigned a smile, "I'll be okay. I really appreciate you listening to me for a second."

Suddenly, strong arms embraced your form.

"Sans will be home soon," Papyrus said, his voice a whisper in your ear, "Remember this is also your home right now though."

You hugged him back, "Oh goodness, you're gonna make me tear up..."

Papyrus backed away from you, "WHAT?" His voice seemed to go back to it's usual tone, "DO NOT CRY MY FRIEND! THERE IS COFFEE, UHM! I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE SPAGHETTI! THERE'S METTATON MOVIES IN THE PANTRY, DON'T WATCH THE LOVE STORY BETWEEN A ROBOT AND A HUMAN THOUGH - WAIT, WHY WOULD MOVIES BE IN THE PANTRY? I'M SO CONFUSED!"

You giggled, "Ah, Paps, I was just teasing you. I'm okay! I won't cry! And I promise not to watch that movie. Is there one you would recommend in its place?"

"THE ROBOT AND THE SKELETON, OF COURSE!" Papyrus's face turned bright orange, "WAIT! DO NOT TELL SANS I SAID THAT!"

You raised an eyebrow.

"ALRIGHTIE, COFFEE HUMAN, I MUST BID YOU A FAREWELL! I WILL BE BACK HOME AFTER WORK TOMORROW!" Papyrus said, grabbing a bag off of the table.

You waved to him, watching him slam the front door harshly behind him.

Ah, whilst you felt yourself grow extremely exhausted, you knew tonight wouldn't be an easy night for sleep just from your feelings alone. What even had brought your sudden bad mood? That light hallucination of someone coughing? The prescription for your damned "crazy" pills?

Whatever.

It was almost midnight, you realized. You even had stared at that clock for a moment, not even paying attention to the time.

Something felt off.

Tonight was going to be awful.

You sat up from your chair, taking off your jacket and placing it on the coat rack.

Maybe you should've said yes to Papyrus's sleepover invitation. Even the cheerful, oblivious skeleton could tell just how awful your mood was that night. You know you shouldn't be alone. And, hell, you didn't even know when and if Sans was coming home that night.

Working as a scientist sometimes meant late, really goddamn late nights.

At first, it scared you dramatically with just how late it all seemed to be. But Sans tried to reassure that he was fine and that this schedule suited him better than his old one with his random odd and end jobs. (He said that he barely even got sleep when he didn't work where he was then.)

Still.

It kind of sucked.

Even if he went straight to bed, just having another person in the house made you feel safer. Your apartments were sort of the same way. Will and Emily were always right there, even if you didn't talk to them often. Being alone like this scared you. You felt like a child for it though.

If he didn't go to bed...

And if you were able to work up the courage...

Maybe you two could talk for a moment, just to get your mind off of things? He'd likely want to know what was going through your damned skull to try to help you, but you honestly were never sure of anything that happened there anymore.

Suddenly, the entire room was filled with a bright, flashing light. It was blinding, and you felt like you jumped three feet into the air. You screamed bloody murder, in spite of yourself. Soon afterwards, thunder filled your ears with enough force to make you fall to your knees.

Oh god, oh god, oh dear god.

Your heart felt like it was beating a million miles an hour.

That just proves my point.

I'm a goddamn child.

You took a few seconds to calm down, listening to your shallow breathing and the sounds of harsh rain beginning to pour down on the roof.

After a moment, you got yourself off of the floor - shaking out of surprise more than fear.

"Ah," You sighed, "That was awful."

You grabbed your apple juice out of your bag, popping open the lid, as well as your box of antidepressants.

 _Take it before I go to bed every night, alright._

 _I can just put this box on the sink in my bathroom. Sans and Papyrus likely won't see it..._

 _Should I even try to hide it?_

 _What would they think?_

 _What do I think?_

 _Before contemplating it anymore, you grabbed a pill and washed it down._

 _No time like the present._

The door unexpectedly shot open, the sound of rain becoming louder. A gust of cold wind made you shiver.

Sans appeared, his jacket soaked almost entirely in water, and closed the door. He took his off and hung it up along with yours. You heard him sigh deeply, sounding like he was in despair.

Apparently he hadn't noticed you when he first came in, as his eyes suddenly rested on your awkward self. He smiled brightly at you.

"hey, bookworm," His voice sounded gruff, tired, "didn't expect to see you up so late."

You tried to smile back at him, "Hey, Sansy. Late night?"

Sans nodded slightly, "i might schedule a date for my bed in a few minutes."

"I'd bed it'd like that," You added shyly.

He cracked another smile, "how was your day?"

Sans sat at the dining table, beginning to look through some paperwork that had been laid messily all over it.

"It was okay," You lied, "Yours?"

"alphys needed some extra help with some magic," Sans said quietly, "she doesn't have much of her own. i ended up tiring myself out..."

You raised an eyebrow, "You run out of magic?"

"it's like an rpg, i suppose. mages have a certain amount of magic points before they have to rest and slowly gain them back, right?" Sans smiled, looking at you, "that's how monsters work."

"I didn't know you liked RPGs," You laughed, "We should play one sometime."

"i'd love that."

There was a slight moment of silence as thunder started to act up again, and you grabbed onto the box in your hands tighter. There was gonna be a dent in it soon enough, if you hadn't already made one.

"Does that mean you had to catch a ride home?" You asked, wanting a conversation.

"yeah, alphys drove me," Sans replied, "i still ended up getting soaked."

It felt so awkward.

"Do you know what you're gonna do when the rest of the monsters leave? Is the science lab going to be closed for the week?"  
Sans nodded, "can i work with you?"

You raised an eyebrow, but smiled, "I'd love that."

Sans smirked.

You bit your lip.

"Is everything okay?"

"yeah, why?"

"I... I don't know, I'm sorry."

"don't be sorry."

"I wasn't sure, because... I just..."

"Hmm?"

"If... If you weren't okay, you can tell me. You know that, right?"

"i know. this sort of thing though..." Sans started, "it doesn't require your concern."

"I think I'm gonna head to bed," You said in a rush, shoving your stuff back into your bag hurriedly, "Have a good night, Sansy."

Sans nodded, even giving you a bright smile in response, "night, _. sleep well."

"Also, Sans?" You began walking to your room, "Don't forget to go to sleep."

"you too."

You practically ran into your room, slamming the door uncharacteristically loud behind you.

Well, you had called it.

Tonight was fucking horrible.

Had you done something to upset Sans...?

It didn't matter, whatever had happened - the damage had already been done.

You were an idiot.

You threw your bag onto the ground and flung yourself into the comfort of the soft mattress. With just barely bothering to kick off your shoes, you put Toriel's lovingly made quilt on top of yourself and sighed at the warmness of it. You slowly felt yourself fall into an aimless, restless slumber.

You felt proud of yourself that you didn't cry yourself to sleep that night.


	34. Disruptive, Intrusive

You felt yourself wake up slowly, feeling the grogginess and restlessness that came along with it.

Sitting up from your bed cautiously, you feel yourself yawn loudly as you stretch your arms. That sleep had felt like it only lasted a half an hour, perhaps an hour at best. Although you felt a _smidge_ bit more rested than you had when you first fallen asleep, you still were perpetually exhausted.

Trying to wake up, you shook your head vigorously to get rid of the remaining tiredness in your body. Like, sure, you were tired but it was damn near impossible to go to back to sleep.

It was then you realized what time it exactly was.

You had slept for exactly two hours.  
Which made it a little past two in the morning.

Holy damn.

You threw off the quilt from your body and got off of your bed. You walked over to the window and opened it up slightly, the sounds of harsh rain sounding like arrows on a battlefield. The smell of the rain was wonderful, and the coolness of the cold weather felt nice on your body.

Events from earlier started resurfacing in your mind, but you tried your best to avoid them.

Besides, you felt just a tiny bit better than you had just a few hours ago. That alone likely made you feel more tolerable to yourself, more understanding and clear-minded about the earlier situation. (And not being depressed and feeling utterly hopeless was an added bonus.)

Sans likely just had a stressful day.

You had a weird day too.

So, it was good.

You were fine.

Not fine, but... Like. The situation wasn't as dire as your brain had made it to be? You didn't feel quite sure on how you felt, but taking a little break from it was much needed.

You looked to your desk and sadly noted you had drank all of your juice earlier that night.

You sighed. You quietly opened the door, careful not to make a creaking noise, to head into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

It was then, and only then, you noted sounds of soft talking from that exact place you were headed. Oddly, you felt yourself stop walking. You walked halfway back into your room, just out enough so you could hear and see what was going on.

Sans sat at the counter, his feet has puffy pink slippers adorned on them.

He was talking to someone on the phone, the sounds of the conversation were just barely audible from where you stood. Just barely enough so you could hear what he was saying, and how he was saying it.

"look, i'm not sure what to do," The skeleton's voice sounded tired, confused, maybe even a bit angry.

"this whole drama?" Sans inquired to the person on the phone, "you mean where my friend got freaking shot? is that menial monster drama to you?"

Sans sighed, "i know. it's affecting you too. i'm sorry."

"i'm just stressed," Sans doesn't even make a pun, a joke, anything to lighten up the tension, "some kid followed me after work today, saying he was gonna call the cops if i did anything _monster-y._ along with that, the police still haven't found _'s shooter."

"she just barely took off the bandages. hell of a scar, if you ask me," Sans mumbled, "she's been a trooper though, i probably would've walked off by now. seems like too much drama for someone so..."

"hey, that's my business," Sans finally cracks a smirk.

"no," He inhales deeply, "i just don't want things to get worse. it's already pretty shit from where we're at, it'd be a surprise that it could get any worse... but, y'know how that sort of thinking works."

Sans takes a moment, listening intently to the anonymous caller. He makes a few sounds of confirmation, then one of complete confusion - turning into anger, before beginning to reply again.

"what the _hell_?" He sounds infuriated, "those kids said that?"

"frisk can't handle that toriel's their mom?" You can feel his anger, despite being quite away from the small skeleton, "like what the hell? they said what to them?"

"you're really asking me that?"

"i'll kick their goddamn asses."

"...sorry."

"look, i'm stressed out to the bone," Sans chuckles, devoid of emotion, "i just don't know what to do about it anymore."

Sans makes a sound of discontent, listening to his phone.

"frisk and tori deserve more than that," Sans said, rubbing his hand on his skull, "has she talked about it to someone yet? it's bullying, she can't keep it quiet."

"okay. because you know tori," Sans laughed, "probably better than anyone else does. wasn't it, like, over two hundred years together?"

"okay, i'll stop bugging," Sans mumbled, his anger seemingly disappeared.

Was it truly disappeared?

Or...

Was Sans just good at hiding his emotions?

You bit your lip and began to dig your fingernails into the doorframe you held on to. If that was the case, then... Oh gosh, how awful of a friend just were you to the poor skeleton? He obviously needed someone tonight, not just some asshole free-loader that doesn't even act like she cared.

Although, you had kept your emotions hidden from Sans that night as well.

Shouldn't you two make some honesty agreement? Like, if the other person was sad or angry they had the right to tell the other person and ask for consolation? Honestly, that seemed like a smarter idea than this whole drama you two seemed to have going on right now.

(For god's sake, though, you were completely violating his privacy at this moment! Once you heard he was talking to someone, you should've just went back to your room - water or no!)

Sans wasn't okay, you kind of knew that. You never wanted to push too hard, especially with how stressed he's seemed to be for the last few weeks, but you find yourself wishing you had. Perhaps you could've helped him avoid the mental state he was in right now, perhaps even you could've prevented how awful this day had become.

Before you had knew it, you had spaced out at least a few minutes of time just thinking of how bad this situation had become and how stupid you were for not avoiding it.

"alright, i'll talk to you later."

Sans placed the phone gently on the counter, sighing deeply. He took a few seconds before he even really began to move.

You should just go back to your room now, if Sans found out you had been listening to him-

"bookworm?"

Well, shit.

That just ruined about all of your plans, and then some.

You knew you couldn't hide, so you slowly crawled out of your hiding place. You tried to force a cheeky smile on your face but found that you could barely even look at the ground. Oddly, a feeling of lightheadedness began to overwhelm some of your senses.

"I," You started, "I'm sorry."

You walked up to the kitchen, trying to keep a distance of shame between you and Sans. You leaned against the wall separating the kitchen and the living room, trying to push away the want of running right out the front door and never coming back.

He sighed, turning the chair slightly to face you.

"how long were you listening?"

 _Stretch the truth?_ "A few minutes," you half-lied, "I'm so sorry, Sans. I know that was a complete violation of your privacy and no matter what I can say can fix it. If you want me to leave right now, I'd understand it wholeheartedly."

Sans shook his head, "don't do that."

"i'm sorry i acted a bit rude earlier today," Sans said quietly, "i snapped at you, kind of, or at least acted distant. i... heard you slam the door, i kind of realized i messed up after that."

It was your turn to shake your head, "No, I'm okay. I'm fine. I always am. But are you okay, Sans?"

Sans looked straight at you, practically looking into your soul.

He chuckled.

"no."

"not at all."


	35. To Watch Them Die

**(tw for: death mention, nightmares, and slight nsfw towards end.)**

Sans knew you had been watching him for some time. He'd heard the soft sounds of your door creaking, and the catching of your breath once he had said something a bit more personal and raw.

He knew he should've hung up or redirected the conversation he was having once he noticed you, but frankly he didn't want to. Sans wasn't quite sure why he kept going though. Perhaps it was just the idea of talking to you, apologizing for being a dick, and maybe even-

No.

You had enough problems, why burden you with his? You finally had been able to talk about your problems with a counselor; someone who could help you more than simple pats on the back and feigned reassurances.

But, yet... He felt so weak when he was around you, as if you said one word and he'd immediately be at your beck and call. It felt a bit embarrassing, although he'd admit it to no one.

When he saw you, he just couldn't stop talking.

Asgore wasn't a big helper of solving problems, but it was nice to finally get the years worth of drama and abuse he and Papyrus had gone through out a little bit. It wasn't a big help, but definitely better than keeping it in like he was used to.

But, yeah, Sans knew Asgore already had enough problems to sort through. He had over thousands of monsters to look after, not just himself and one other. Thousands of monsters who needed consolation and care, much more than he needed.

Asgore was, frankly, shit at consoling when it finally came down to it however.

You, on the other hand...

Your bright smile, those silly baggy sweaters you insisted on wearing, the way you could always bring a laugh to him even on his worst days. The way you always carried the scent of your bookstore around with you, along with a small scent of lavender. It was intoxicating at some points, dizzying and lovely at others.

Maybe he was being a bit selfish, he'd admit, but... If you were willing, Sans... He just needed a goddamn _friend_ right now.

The first thing he notes when you walk out of your bedroom door is that you still have on your dark skinny jeans, a wrinkled white button-up shirt tucked into them loosely. Sans, with the few weeks you've lived here, noted that you probably do that a lot. He doesn't remember you wearing pajamas, like, ever.

"-are you okay, Sans?" Your soft voice fills his thoughts as he turns to look at you, his face likely devoid of emotion.

"no," Sans chuckled, "not at all."

It was the first time he's said that out loud.

You bit your lip, "What's wrong, Sans? I... I might not be the most helpful person, but I... You can talk to me."

Sans sighed, "just monster drama, i suppose. there's been a lot of cases where friends have been hurt and harassed by some stupid, ignorant human. frisk got bullied at school because tori's their mom, there's been at least a dozen cases of attempted homicide... it's all getting fucked really quickly, _. i'm not sure what to do about it anymore."

"How long has this been going on?" You asked the exact question Sans didn't want to answer. He knows how much you'll worry when he tells you.

"since monsters arrived from the barrier," He said honestly, "so. two years ago, i suppose."

"Two years?" You stood up straighter, "What, how... How did I not know about this?"

Sans blinked.

"Holy shit, Sans," You breathed out, "Why aren't we doing something about this?"

He doesn't hear you swear a lot. It's a surprise in of itself to hear you say something like that, much less the added curse that went along with it.

"we've tried," Sans shrugged, "we can't do anything if humans aren't willing to lend a hand."

"That..." You stop, "That's idiotic."

He nods.

"What can you do about it?" You finally spoke up, your gaze focused intently on the kitchen tile.

Sans took a second to think about your question, "the monsters are going to the underground in a few weeks, you know that already... i just am hoping to god that they'll be able to do something about it then."

You sighed, "Well, S-Sans..."

"Why aren't you going with them?"

"what?" Sans said, harsher than he meant to. His guilt is tripled ten-fold when he sees you flinch at his tone.

"You can likely help," You said quickly, "You're one of the smartest people I've met, Sans, and you'd likely be a complete help on their part. If it's because of... Well, me... Not to sound self-centered, I'm sorry, but... If it's about me, Sans, I'll be okay. I can take care of myself for a week or two."

Sans jumped off of his chair, saying silent and emotionless, and walked closer to you so that there'd only be a few yards of space between both of you.

He sighed deeply.

"are you dense?" Sans snaps, losing control of his emotions, "you're gonna get fucking killed with that sort of attitude."

You blink, "W-What?"

"those kids know that me and undyne are there," Sans admitted, "they'll come after you if we leave. if you don't know that, then what the hell?"

"I can take care of myself, Sans."

"and why do you think i want to go back to that hell hole anytime soon?" Oh dear god, Sans felt his eyesockets start to burn. He pushes away the feeling and tries to move on, "are you _trying_ to get rid of me? do you really hate me that much that you want me to go to that damned place again?"

You take a step behind, bumping into the wall, "Sans, you're reading this all wrong-"

"i'm reading this all wrong?" He shouts, "no, _, you are! holy shit, why do you all think i need to go to the underground again? i don't want to ever go back there... never, fucking..."

Sans barely noticed the soft trembles you started to make, nor the sounds of heavy thunder starting to attack the soundwaves nearby.

Sans clenches his fists together.

"everytime i even see a goddamn picture of that place," Sans stops, knowing he should just shut up now, "i see it all again. and again. and fucking again, okay? i don't want to see everyone die like that! i don't want to watch my brother die time and time again from the hands of someone who is pretending to be my friend!"

"i don't want to be forced to kill them again, _," Sans barely notices the tears that are started to flow freely down his face. He feels numb, "over and over again, i have to kill them. and finally, i loose. they kill me with the knife they've used to kill everyone else i've ever loved or care about except for... except for you."

"it makes no sense to me either," He laughed bitterly, "i've never gone through anything like this. why are these dreams and thoughts so vivid? why is it like i'm viewing another life except i've only lived one? i've only lived one life with papyrus and frisk and toriel... and, and you. in all of those dreams, we never escaped from the underground. the only thing waiting back there for us is death from the hands of someone we thought was a friend."

"you must think i'm fucked up for dreaming about this shit, huh?" He asked, not really wanting an answer, "certainly you're going to want to leave me after this. i-i'm screaming at you, my best friend, for nothing you did wrong."

Your voice is weak. " _S-Sans..._ "

The power suddenly goes off in the room.

He shook his head.

"you're an idiot," He finally says after a moment, "i need to stay here to protect you. i know you can keep yourself safe, and i know that me being here with you is only keeping you in the danger. but i'm so _selfish,_ can't you see that? i'm selfish and i'm the reason you've got shot, the reason why that asshole pointed that gun at you."

He watched you as you slowly fell to the ground, watching as you hugged your knees close to your body. The skeleton knows that he should've said something, done anything, to comfort you but... He just. Couldn't.

"without us, without me," His voice was shaky, the room was pitch black. He could just barely make out your form in the darkness, "you wouldn't have to deal with any of this. your bookstore would still be here, you'd still have vivian as a friend... so why? why keep us here? you're gonna get yourself fucking killed."

You took a deep, shaky breath.

" _Because I'm selfish too, Sans_." Your voice was muffled.

"i can't ever let you go now," Sans felt weak, vulnerable, "you know that, right?"

"i can't leave you, i can't let you get hurt even though i'm the reason you are in danger," He heard thunder loud enough to where it felt like he was shaking the ground, "because... _..."

 ** _"i'm in love with you._** **"**

Your face immediately went up to see his, and he finally noticed the glassy haze your eyes have on them. He noticed the tear stained look your cheeks had. And he finally realizes he'd been yelling at you.

He takes a deep breath.

Sans lowers himself to the floor, sitting next to you on your left side. He shyly puts an arm over your shoulder.

You're shaking like a leaf.

You lean on his shoulder and he hears the soft cries of agony you make, the sounds he'd caused. Sans knew why you were crying was completely his fault. He knew it because he was crying along with you.

"i'm so sorry for yelling at you," He finally squeaked out, his voice going high, "i'm so sorry."

You shake your head, and suddenly both of your arms are around Sans's bony figure, "Sans, S-Sans," Your voice comes in waves, "Don't be sorry, don't be sorry, okay? It's okay, you're okay. I'm so sorry because I know that I-I messed up and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you as a friend, but k-know I'm here for you now. I'm not very h-helpful but I'll try."

You take in deep hiccups of breath, trying to say too many words in too little amount of time. It's lucky that Sans knows how to deal with fast talkers, he thinks afterwards.

"You're okay," You breathed out, "I-I'm here."

Suddenly, you pull out of Sans's grip slightly - just enough so you can look at his face. Your intent look would've made Sans blush in any other situation rather than this.

Fresh blobs of tears are running down your face, and you make a move to wipe them away.

"Sans..." You say after a moment, "I..."

"I love you too."

Sans was immediately shocked by this and opens his mouth to say something, but a loud sob comes out instead. And, look, Sans buries his face in the crook of your neck and starts balling. Balling for the tears he's never cried, for the deaths of his friends that never happened, and for you. Because he wants to save you from everything bad, yet he's met you too late to help.

He feels you rub circles on his back, and he even feels a few stray tears touch his neck. He didn't really expect this situation to ever happen though, it feels as if your rolls are switched.

Your breathing is deep, calming, and Sans almost loses himself in it.

He opens his mouth to say something again, "i'm sorry-"

"Shh," You hushed him.

Sans nodded.

After what feels like either a few minutes or an entire day, Sans still isn't quite sure, you both let go of each other.

He saw your tears are dried away and he feels your sleeves wipe away the stray one he has on his face. Sans tried to make a shy smile, but it only succeeded in making him feel useless.

"i really am-"

Your lips suddenly were planted on Sans's open ones, kissing him passionately and deeply. He felt the warmness and softness of your lips that he'd so dearly missed, he'd admit to himself, and kisses you back with just as much passion.

Your tongue started to poke at the entrance of his mouth, begging for entry, and Sans willfully complied with your request. You still tasted like sugar, like the sweetest candy in the entire Overworld.

Both of your tongues fought for dominance for a moment, but Sans figured you let him win after a few moments.

He kissed you deeper as his hands start trailing all around you. He first touches your shoulders, hesitantly going to your cheeks, before going down and trailing over your breasts and then softly squeezing. You make a cute sound when he did that.

Sans carefully tried to see your reaction when he unbuttoned the bottom button of your shirt, which was followed by small moan of yours. He ended up unbuttoning the entire shirt before the kiss ended, his hands shaky but determined.

You ended pulling away first, a trail of saliva connecting the two of you together in a bit of a lewd way.

Your cheeks were bright, flushed red, and your eyes looked hazy with something he couldn't quite explain. Although Sans is quite sure he looked the exact same to.

Sans tries not to look down, he really did, but he couldn't help it. Your bra was a dark blue color, a stark contrast from the one you'd worn at the bookstore. (Although these were vastly different circumstances.)

He watched you stand up and offer his hand, which he gratefully accepts. There was no need for words between the two of you, rather just a few awkward smiles. You shyly held onto his hand as you stood up, pulling him closer to your bedroom.

Once you arrived there, Sans slammed the door behind him, the sound started to echo within the entire house.


	36. Sunshine

**(a/n: don't worry about any smut being here!**

 **because i am fifteen year old awkward virgin who tried to write smut and got twelve words in before yelling "fuCK THIS"**

 **hope y'all cuties understand)**

"You look cute," Your voice started to fill Sans's waking thoughts, "There's all this sunshine on your face."

He turned his head to look at you, his eyes opening up sleepily. Your face is bright and happy, dimples starting to show on your soft expression. The laugh that fills up his non-existent ears is a small giggle. A dorky smile is implanted on your face, which Sans ends up starting to mimick on his own.

The skeleton yawns, feeling a bit confused about what exactly was going on. He sees the happy look on your face, sure, but that doesn't necessarily explain the puffy and red look your eyes gave him. It feels a bit all contradictory.

He looks at you more closely, as you moved a bit suddenly and the quilt starts to move off of your shoulders. Your shoulder is bare, nothing else adorned on it besides from a small mole.

Wait.

Oh god, were you _naked?_

"a-ah?" Sans made a noise of confusion.

You giggle again, "Ah?"

It finally clicks.

He shot up from the bed, sitting up abruptly. He started to feel a burning sensation in his cheeks, an obvious blush starting to form.

"oh my god, i-" Sans paused, "wait, oh my god, did that really happen?"

You pull the quilt up to cover yourself more thoroughly, even covering up a part of your face, but a blush adorning your cheeks could still be seen, "I... I think so."

"so you and i?"

"We," You start to laugh, " _Boned?"_

Sans quickly turned his gaze from you, embarrassed.

"i'm sorry," He said after a moment, resisting the urge to hide under the covers.

You raised an eyebrow, pulling away the blanket from your face. "Ah? ...I'm sorry, I don't really know why you're apologizing."

"because," He groans quietly, "i-i, that was your first time? right? and i, i did a fuck up."

"Sans," your voice was calm, "Look, it's okay."

He turned his look back to you, eyes shining.

You smiled and laughed softly at his endearing pout.

"no, it's not and im so sorry, _," Sans frowned, "i really like you, but i... i know you weren't, _aren't,_ ready for this."

You furrow your eyebrows, "I love you, Sans, stop worrying about it, alright? I..." You paused, face blushing, "I wanted to do what we did or I would've stopped you. I... I don't know if I was c-completely ready, I guess, but I'm glad it was with you."

"what do you mean?" Sans immediately responded.

"I've never done anything relationship-wise," You shook your head, "My f-first kiss was with you, and that was only, like, five months ago?" You blinked. "Time goes fast, holy..."

Sans stared at you, " _what_?"

"I..."

"i feel awful."

"Why? Please don't."

"i s-stole your first kiss _and_ your virginity."

You blush darkened, "S-Sans!"

"it's true though."

"Well, don't feel bad about it."

"how am i supposed to feel."

"Happy?"

"happy?"

"B-Because, like, I... I don't know. Was that your first time?"

Sans face turned blue.

"maybe."

"See? Now _I_ feel bad."

"what."

"Do you see how I feel now? Goddammit, Sans."

Sans rolled his eyes.

"i love you."

"I love you too."

Suddenly, both of you turned to look the other way. It was easy enough to think it, but saying it in such an intimate way made Sans nervous and queasy. It only heightened his senses - the warmth you had he could feel through the blanket, the obvious fact you were fucking naked only an inches away from him.

"This feels like a cliche fanfiction written by an awkward fifteen year old," You mumbled as Sans finally mustered up the courage to look at you, covering your face with your hand.

"a fanfiction?" Sans chuckled.

You rolled your eyes, "You know what I mean."

"who would write a story about a short, cute, dorky bookstore owner and an ever shorter skeleton?" Sans poked your cheek, his hands trembling softly.

You grabbed Sans hand and moved it softly to the middle of you on the pillow, intertwining both of your fingers softly.

"I would," You said after a moment, "If it means I'd get to meet you again."

Sans smiled, "even after getting shot? after everything like that?"

"I'd do everything all over again," You said, closing your eyes, squeezing Sans hand, "Everything. I'd go through mom's death, dad's isolation afterwards, the loneliness I-I dealt with before I met you or Undyne, this stupid fucking bulletwound..." You sniffled, "I'd go through it a million times, Sans, if I got to meet you all again. If I got to kiss you and befriend you. E-Even if we weren't in this situation, even if you didn't _l-l-love_ me back, your friendship has meant the entire world to me."

Sans squeezed your hand back, "you're really cute. and s-soft, "

You opened up your eyes immediately, staring at him.

"i-i really love you," Sans turns his eyes away from yours, "this sounds weird, alright, but deal with it for a moment."

"i didn't really like humans when we came up from the surface," Sans shyly admitted, "but when i met you, and you'd spilled all of the ketchup all over us? damn. changed my mind in a heartbeat."

You shook your head, "You're so silly."

"then you make this pumpkin casserole," Sans made an OK sign with his free hand, "to _die_ for. or, in my case, to live for?"

"anyways. i've always thought you were this really cute human and i started to like you which was blasphemy for a monster and you were - are, too cool and beautiful to like me back, yknow? and so. uh," Sans chuckled, "i don't know where i'm going with this. dammit. i'm usually better at this kind of shit."

"but when i kissed you that first time?" Sans blushed, "like heaven? like holy goddamn? and im still so sorry that i almost fucking ruined our relationship there?"

"i keep getting off track. what i mean to say is that - you were some sort of angel in my eyes. s-so don't take this bad, i still think you're that way, but... when you told me about your problems, that someone like you isn't perfect? it made me feel not so alone, i guess." Sans sighs, "and it made me realize how much i really did like you, and just how important you became in my life - and i hope that i was the same for you."

You squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"i'm really glad you've trusted me enough to tell me how I feel," Sans looks into your eyes, "okay? im glad you don't have to feel alone anymore, and i-i'm glad that i h-have you too."

You smiled, "You can _always_ talk to me. I hope you know that."

Sans takes a breath, "you make me nervous in so many ways i haven't really felt before. i can't think of anything but to make you laugh and smile when i'm around you, but i can't think of any good puns because i can't think of any! do you see my problem there?"

You giggled in response, your dimples showing.

"so, uh," Sans takes a second to respond.

He lets go of your hand and sits up, the blanket falling slightly over his torso. You look at him, eyes shining and face bright and happy.

He points to where an ear would be.

"i-if i had an ear," Sans starts, "and i'd gave it to you..."

"would you gogh out with me?"

You blinked.

Sans face goes bright blue.

"uh," He shakes his head, "that one was awful, i'm so sorry."

"if you were a library book i wouldn't ever return it?"

"can i take a picture of you? to show santa what i want for christmas?" Sans stopped, "oh god, christmas is next month."

You burst out laughing, snorts and giggles and all.

"Sans?" You say after you catch your breath, "are you asking me out?"

"...are you saying yes?"

Your face suddenly goes dark and Sans starts to panic.

"I'm on antidepressants."

"...hmm?" Sans asks, confused.

"Isn't that, like, weird?"

"i should probably be on some sort of monster medication helper thingy," Sans laughed, "that was really random, _, you're a nerd.

You look at him for a moment before shaking your head.

"so will a nerd like you go out with a cool guy like me?" Sans says, looking at you.

"I think you have it opposite," You poked his cheek, "I'm _really_ cool, you know."  
"not as cool as papyrus."

"Shame on me to think any other way," You stick your tongue out.

Sans smiles, his entire skull radiating a light blue color.

"i love you very much, _."

"I love you too, Sansy."

Sans bends down to kiss you, a light peck on your lips compared to the passionate, desperate ones you've shared before. Sans knows he can get used to this... He _wants_ to get used to this - to you, to your laugh, to your dimples, to everything else cheesy and dorky.

He took a second before saying anything more.

"will you..." He chuckled, "move in with us, permanently? i think papyrus would be sad if you left."

"I'd miss him too," You roll your eyes, "He's a pretty cool skeleton, you know."


	37. thank you

hey everyone...

with this post, i have some not so fun news. the entire process of the smell of old books, for me, has been kind of rocky. it's hard to juggle school along with friends whilst posting 2,000 words of a fanfiction every other day. i never had a clear plot outline set up when i first started nor did i plan to have almost eighty-thousand words in a little more than four months. i've gone through some major depression throughout writing this story and it's helped me in ways that counseling and venting couldn't.

it's been such an amazing, _amazing_ experience just to have met and gotten to know some of you guys. i've cried multiple times hearing and listening to your guys' experiences and that i helped even if it was just a miniscule amount... because holy damn, all ive wanted to do ever was to help someone who needed it and the thought that i've helped so many of you just makes me want to cry all over again? in a good way, i swear!

and to have fanart drawn? like. seriously amazing fanart? that blows me away. it makes me squeal when someone sends me a message with a photo attached like holyyyyyyyyyyyy. ahhh. that's an author's dream right there.

but, and this is what i don't want to say.  
i don't like writing this story anymore. it's difficult and it's gotten to the point where it feels like work more than actual writing. i don't know what that means for the future of this story anymore because i believed i could just push past it but... i can't. undertale hasn't been fun for me anymore, i feel just so drained on it... i don't even do anything related to the fandom anymore because it's just no fun to me. i haven't even replayed the game in forever.

i'm taking an indefinite hiatus from this moment on.  
an indefinite hiatus means that you are leaving it and you don't know when you are coming back, but that you have not officially quit and therefore may return. (but, sadly, the likelyhood is more that i will not be returning to this story.)

i don't know if i'll ever feel the need or the want or the drive to get back onto this story, and this reason i didn't stop it around chapter 20 was because of you guys. but i need to do this for myself? im so sorry for everyone who was looking forward to the end and more chapters but... i just _can't_ anymore. i am so sorry.

this story is a great reminder to myself that i can write and people enjoy it, but it is also a reminder that i need to think and delve into the plot completely before setting my mind to a project i might loose motivation to finish.

it's also means so much to me too. i've met one of my greatest friends because of this and i've met a lot of other friends and just down right lovely people because of the smell of old books. i'd never regret writing this story _ever_ because it led me to so many great things.

with this story being on hiatus, i still am going to be working on my other fanfiction. i wish i could rewrite this story and make it more deserving of everyone's praise but... i don't know.

i love you all and thank you so much for staying with this fanfiction for so long.  
and know that i'll always be here if anyone needs me or wishes to talk. i'm always at my tumblr and here as well.

just... thank you. from the bottom of my heart. this means more than any words can describe and im so so sorry that i just cant finish it.

if you wish to read more undertale related fanfictions, one of my really good friends/beta reader is writing one right here: /works/6482422/chapters/14837593


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